Please HELP! court order and still having problems!

[fatherfirst]

My childrens mother alienated the children from me for over a year no phone or < parenting time >! I was devastated and helpless. I finally got to present my case to a judge who immediately placed a court order for < parenting time > and phone time. Phone time on the court order shows 7pm and this order was placed last week. Well the few times that I have called she answers and tells me she'll call me back in 5 minutes which is ok but then the next time she didnt pick up the phone at all and when i emailed her she said she did call back but i didnt have any missed calls. then the next time i called at 7pm court order time and she called back half an hour later and the kids were out somewhere playing and when i asked them where they were my kids said mommy told us we cant tell you where we are.
The games she plays with my kids are childish. I would like to have a GAL but the judge said I had to get one on my own, I dont know how to get one can anyone help???

[minuette]

Where are you in terms of physical distance from the children?

How much documentation have you built up in terms of her phone access violations (journaling, emails to her after the fact noting her behavior)? Enough to show a consistent pattern of denial?

Have you retained an attorney? I think you should have one guide you through the process of filing a contempt motion once, so you get familiar with the process and documentation.

When is your next parenting time, according to your parenting agreement? Does she deny your parenting time? Have you documented and filed contempt against her for any violations?

[fatherfirst]

I have brought her to court for contept before and they gave her a slap on the wrist, last week I begged the judge to give me a court order and the judge granted me the order but she continues to play games with the kids. I'm afraid that I need a Guardian AD Litem to get involved so that she can stop her childish games with the kids. I have a TON of emails and thats what helped me to get the coiurt order for 7pm phone time but again she doesnt make the kids available until she feels like it. If its a court order shouldnt she have the children in a place where they can have phone time with me and not distracted??
I had the kids last weekend and she complained because I was 3 minutes late to drop off, she didnt deny me < parenting time > after the court order last week but continues to have an attitude during exchanges and phone time.

I have retained an attorney and am very familiar on how to file for contempt but i just got out of court last week, should I file again? I'm open to any help, I'll do whatever I have to do. I just feel a GAL would help but I dont know how to get a GAL on my own??

Where are you in terms of physical distance from the children?

How much documentation have you built up in terms of her phone access violations (journaling, emails to her after the fact noting her behavior)? Enough to show a consistent pattern of denial?

Have you retained an attorney? I think you should have one guide you through the process of filing a contempt motion once, so you get familiar with the process and documentation.

When is your next parenting time, according to your parenting agreement? Does she deny your parenting time? Have you documented and filed contempt against her for any violations?

[Fatheroffour]

Getting a GAL can be hit or miss.

You need to focus on using her obstructionism, failure to abide by the court order and failure to promote a healthy relationship with the childs father as being hurtful and harmful to the child and not in the childs best interest. You need to use that argument as reason for a change of custody.

That should be your focus rather than trying to get a GAL to make her stop.

Maybe along the way to you building this custody modification case mommy dearest will see the light and maybe not but your focus should be using her petty and vengeful actions against her rather than trying in vain to make her play nice.

The judge just placed the order. Immediately start documenting her noncompliance and after 5 or 6 instances take her back to the judge, asking for fees, sanctions and finding of fact that she isn't acting in the childrens best interest. Continue to build on that.

[minuette]

Clarification needed.

During the year that you were denied parenting time and phone contact with the children, was there a court order in effect? If so, what did those orders state with regard to phone access and parenting time? What orders were the contempt filings referencing? Legally, she did not violate a court order with regard to parenting time or phone access if there was no order in effect, or the orders in effect were vague enough that she could essentially dictate whether you had access or not.

If your orders are now SPECIFIC with regard to parenting time and phone access, then you document each time she violates the order and file for contempt as FoF stated.

Last question: why were you asking the children where they were during the mother's parenting time? Is there some place she has been ordered not to take them? Is it a health or safety concern that can be documented?

[fatherfirst]

There was and is a mediation agreement in place, the mediation had the < parenting time > and phone times but she contantly denied me phone and time sharing.

Now I have a court order and she still plays games! in regards to my asking the children where they were, I was talking to my daughter and she was running around saying she was outside somewhere eating ice cream, she sounded so happy I simply asked oh where are you guys sounds like fun and my daughter answered mommy said not to tell you. I mean how childish! It's bad enough every time I call she makes sure the kids are too busy to talk to me but to put my daughter in a bad position is hurtful. Last time my kids came over they acted very weird because they had not seen me in over a year. I lost a whole year for nothing!

Clarification needed.

During the year that you were denied parenting time and phone contact with the children, was there a court order in effect? If so, what did those orders state with regard to phone access and parenting time? What orders were the contempt filings referencing? Legally, she did not violate a court order with regard to parenting time or phone access if there was no order in effect, or the orders in effect were vague enough that she could essentially dictate whether you had access or not.

If your orders are now SPECIFIC with regard to parenting time and phone access, then you document each time she violates the order and file for contempt as FoF stated.

Last question: why were you asking the children where they were during the mother's parenting time? Is there some place she has been ordered not to take them? Is it a health or safety concern that can be documented?

[minuette]

It will be a difficult exercise, by try to reset the clock on your emotions with regard to her violations. You are now in possession of orders that the mother takes seriously enough to pay lip service to, whereas before, she basically used the mediated agreement as toilet paper. That is a vast improvement and a solid win for you, no?

Regarding the attitude of hers you take such offense to: if you want to do something productive with her attitude, video/audio record it as allowed by state law. By phone, inform her when she picks up that you are recording the conversation, then ask to speak to the children. Add that to your documentation of the denials of phone access, along with a certified transcript of the recordings. For custody exchanges, have a witness present if possible and record each exchange. Be civil but say as little as possible, and do not let her get your goat.

Meanwhile, do you have your game plan together to maximize your parenting time through school/extracurricular activity involvement?

[fatherfirst]

When you put it that way yes you are right, before she just wiped her behind with the agreement. I guess it takes someone from the outside looking in to bring certain things to light. You are right!

I would like to record the conversations, I feel stupid asking this but where do I get the recorder? Is there a special recorder to purchase for phone conversations? It's sad that things have to be like this, I'm just tired of the stupidity.
All I want is to be able to spend time with my kids and talk to them in peace without her childish nonsense.

It will be a difficult exercise, by try to reset the clock on your emotions with regard to her violations. You are now in possession of orders that the mother takes seriously enough to pay lip service to, whereas before, she basically used the mediated agreement as toilet paper. That is a vast improvement and a solid win for you, no?

Regarding the attitude of hers you take such offense to: if you want to do something productive with her attitude, video/audio record it as allowed by state law. By phone, inform her when she picks up that you are recording the conversation, then ask to speak to the children. Add that to your documentation of the denials of phone access, along with a certified transcript of the recordings. For custody exchanges, have a witness present if possible and record each exchange. Be civil but say as little as possible, and do not let her get your goat.

Meanwhile, do you have your game plan together to maximize your parenting time through school/extracurricular activity involvement?

[minuette]

This link has infor about recording calls on landlines and cell phones:
http://www.phonelosers.org/article/reco ... one_calls/


This Board also has a tech forum that you should peruse:
viewforum.php?f=14

[fatherfirst]

Thank you!

This link has infor about recording calls on landlines and cell phones:
http://www.phonelosers.org/article/reco ... one_calls/


This Board also has a tech forum that you should peruse:
viewforum.php?f=14