I think I made a HUGE mistake

[504dad]

Thank you... I am just kind of 'freaked out' about it.

You should use the search function and take the time to read all of kidsdadtexas post.

It has a happy ending.

[Fatheroffour]

You're s a strong guy. You're not as freaked out as I would be.

Like I suggested. Take some time, regroup. Figure out how you're going to come up with enough money to have an attorney standing in for you next time because judges piss on pro se litigants as a rule. Figure out a game plan to use moms bad behavior against her. figure out how you're going to document it other than recording the kids.

You can do it but it's going to take some time and a well executed comprehensive strategy.

[504dad]

Re-grouping is the plan right now. I am freaked out, but I was also married to her for 7-years (not to denigrate her), but nothing surprises me anymore. As soon as I had the Order in hand this morning, I ran down to the Family Services office and didn't waste time. Now, the eX has to go down and have her interview. I e-mailed her attorney the information before noon, and have yet to hear anything. I just hope she doesn't drag her feet.

I want to believe, beyond anything, that she will do it quickly for the kids, but this has not proven true in the past.

As for the plan, I took out a $44K signature loan 2-years ago, and even then my Father had to co-sign. I've literally sold everything that wasn't bolted down. So, like Winnie the Pooh -- Think, Think Think!!!

I was reading the suggested posts. I'm hoping that in 3-months, as I will be a spectacular example with the < parenting time > person, I have a chance of getting this dropped. <<<< This might be a little optimistic. ,

You're s a strong guy. You're not as freaked out as I would be.

Like I suggested. Take some time, regroup. Figure out how you're going to come up with enough money to have an attorney standing in for you next time because judges < edited > on pro se litigants as a rule. Figure out a game plan to use moms bad behavior against her. figure out how you're going to document it other than recording the kids.

You can do it but it's going to take some time and a well executed comprehensive strategy.

[504dad]

Just bouncing this off the forum...


After having a few days to digest this information, I believe the only option I have is to deal with the situation in a pragmatic manner. There are various stipulations in the Order (i.e... met with family services (< parenting time >), be evaluated by a therapist, etc..) I figure if I follow the Order to the most minute detail they have nothing against me.

I still speak with S7 & S5 on a daily basis, although not truly meaningful it is what I have now. I completed all of the family service paperwork and completed the interview the same day I received the Order. I located a therapist (eX stated she was in therapy and requested that I also participate individually) and then I have to wait for the Review Hearing in September which seems like a lifetime.

I just hope that should I do everything right, the order will be lifted by the new school year as I'm certain it will cause issues with the kids schooling.

[blueTexas]

If your ex claims to make $18k a month and you don't, are you entitled to any child support?

[504dad]

The system here is wonky.

We had a CS hearing in October and this is what occurred:

(1) - She has provided bank statements for the last 12-months that are completely redacted except for the 'total deposit amount' for each month.

(2) - She testified that she receives X number of dollars from her Father each month. (Was not required to provide proof)

(3) - She lives in a house that is owned by her Father. Normally would not have been an issue, but her Father said she is the "property manager", and her compensation is free rent. Per Ariz guidelines the Court was required to put a number on that compensation. I provided two independent broker evaluations as to reasonable rent. The Court ignored the information.

(4) - She also stated that many of her bills are paid for by her Father. Again according to Ariz guidelines she is to provide an accounting, she has refused, and the Court does nothing.

When they request documents of me, I freely hand them over, but getting them to provide anything is impossible. I brought up the matter of the redacted bank statements to the Court and the judge stated "maybe she doesn't want to disclose her purchases" So, I requested of the Court only un-redacted deposits and she can redact the charges. The Court still denied my request.

If I had $18K flying through my account each month and refused to provide the information, you know I would be held to a different standard. In the hearing, her atty attempted to proved that my income was much higher than it actually is by simply showing 'deposits' not their source. I attempted to explain to the Court that my bank provides 'combined statements' and for budgeting purposes I transfer money from one account to another and vis versa to pay bills. So, in actuality many of the deposits are duplicates of my own money switching back and forth between my own accounts (i.e.. it's the SAME money, not NEW deposits). I created a VERY detailed Excel Spreadsheet to prove this and I think the Court became confused and then attributed a higher income even with me providing my tax returns. It's INSANE!

In the end, a school teacher ($35K) is paying a trust fund baby ($120K). Her Financial Affidavit to the Court states that she only receives ($2K) from her Father a month and they take her at her word and not make her show where the other $16K is coming from.

I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone....

If your ex claims to make $18k a month and you don't, are you entitled to any child support?

[blueTexas]

Here's a plan to consider. This might a bit over the top, but hey, if it works, the better off you are.
First, change the way your bank accounts are handled with those transfers. Follow the Keep it Simple or KISS approach to make it easier for the court to verify your income next time. Maybe use the same redaction approach she does.
if you've been a regular here then you know that you can request a child support re-evaluation periodically, depending on circumstances and local custom. It's a simple process.
Request a re-evaluation or try to get her to file for re-evaluation.
You find a way to drop hints that your income has increased substantially, maybe making her feel greedy for more support from you. Maybe imply that you won a a large lottery payout, came into an inheritance from a distant relative, or that you have hidden unrevealed resources. Or you made a killing in Facebook stock futures.
If she bites, she'll request a new CS hearing.
But at the hearing, present verification that still shows your true income compared to hers.

[504dad]

I believe that one of my first errors is that I believe that the Legal System is meant to dish out 'justice'. I have always felt that if 'I' followed the rules/guidelines that the system will self-correct. I hand over anything and everything they request (for some peculiar reason, they even subpoenaed my HS/Univ. transcripts), because I have nothing to hide and I feel I have a pretty good grasp of the rules/guidelines.

At times, I feel as if I live in the Twilight Zone because it appears that even the Judges/Commissioners don't know the rules/guidelines (they rotate every 2-years). I am in the middle of an CS appeal because the commissioner stated that the guidelines don't address 'free housing' - well, yes, they do and my eX falls right within the purpose of the guideline. But, that is only a small part.... in the end, the Commissioner said that since she didn't have all of the eX's information, she was just going to make it 'equal' and assess us almost identical incomes (keep in mind that the eX shows an average of $18K/mo in on-going deposits and never provided proof of where it came from)

But, I digress.....

The only good thing that has come of the happenings of the last few weeks is that the eX has become much less argumentative and has stopped the bickering. I'm still having a hard time digesting everything, but there is no use in crying over it.

-- CMB

Here's a plan to consider. This might a bit over the top, but hey, if it works, the better off you are.
First, change the way your bank accounts are handled with those transfers. Follow the Keep it Simple or KISS approach to make it easier for the court to verify your income next time. Maybe use the same redaction approach she does.
if you've been a regular here then you know that you can request a child support re-evaluation periodically, depending on circumstances and local custom. It's a simple process.
Request a re-evaluation or try to get her to file for re-evaluation.
You find a way to drop hints that your income has increased substantially, maybe making her feel greedy for more support from you. Maybe imply that you won a a large lottery payout, came into an inheritance from a distant relative, or that you have hidden unrevealed resources. Or you made a killing in Facebook stock futures.
If she bites, she'll request a new CS hearing.
But at the hearing, present verification that still shows your true income compared to hers.