D6 is calling new guy papa and dada

[didnotseeitcoming]

Do I have any legal rights as far is this is concerned? If yes or no, how have some of you handled this type of thing? She calls the new guys kids brother and sister, which I have no problem with, but I am in her life and I am her dad, so I see no need to confuse things by calling someone else dad. I'm curious what you guys think. I'm thinking on confronting ex and new guy, good idea??

[nighthawk]

NO !! Contact your attorney !

[Trevor]

Your lawyer should send what we call the Angry Lawyer Letter, advising her to cease and desist this alienating behavior. The child has one father and one mother ONLY, and introducing any other adults as such is confusing and damaging to the children. If it happens again, you are prepared to take further, legal action to stop it.

[didnotseeitcoming]

Thanks guys!

[dobradavid]

Yes, thank you twice.

My children (S3 & D5) are reporting the same thing. They are clearly a bit confused by it.

Your lawyer should send what we call the Angry Lawyer Letter, advising her to cease and desist this alienating behavior. The child has one father and one mother ONLY, and introducing any other adults as such is confusing and damaging to the children. If it happens again, you are prepared to take further, legal action to stop it.

[spacecowboydad]

Is this really something that can be enforced? My D6 was forced into calling the new guy "dad" about a year ago and the behavior still continues. She knows to call him by his name when around me, but she still slips up sometimes and ends up calling him "dad". Breaks my heart, but I doubt my NJ ex will stop with that kind of behavior even if my lawyer did send an angry lawyer letter.

[Trevor]

Judges hate that stuff. If it persists by the time you get into court, have a paper trail of repeated demands to stop, then raise the issue with the judge. Then step back while a new hole is being ripped.

[newwife]

This whole issue can be confusing and embarrassing.

If NJ and her new man is starting this behavior and enforcing it there is no excuse for it and it is ridiculous.


My daughter was young when i met my now husband.
She starting calling him dad because
1)her now stepsister calls him dad(cause he's really her dad)
2)his name is very similar to the word dad-so since she could barely talk that's what she called him.
I did not encourage this behavior-although it took her a few months to understand what his name really was.

There are time when mom/dad is more embarrasing to correct that not
my stepdaughter-when we go out somewhere and someone calls me her mom in public-sometimes it's not worth it to correct them.

But there is no reason for the child to be told to call someone else dad.

I agree with talking to your attorney.
If you talk directly to NJ it will encourage her to push it even harder-knowing it bothers you.

[nighthawk]

This whole issue can be confusing and embarrassing.

If NJ and her new man is starting this behavior and enforcing it there is no excuse for it and it is ridiculous.


My daughter was young when i met my now husband.
She starting calling him dad because
1)her now stepsister calls him dad(cause he's really her dad)
2)his name is very similar to the word dad-so since she could barely talk that's what she called him.
I did not encourage this behavior-although it took her a few months to understand what his name really was.

There are time when mom/dad is more embarrasing to correct that not
my stepdaughter-when we go out somewhere and someone calls me her mom in public-sometimes it's not worth it to correct them.

But there is no reason for the child to be told to call someone else dad.

I agree with talking to your attorney.
If you talk directly to NJ it will encourage her to push it even harder-knowing it bothers you.

I think you are wrong, for allowing another mans child to call a step, dad. I also think you are wrong for allowing a step child call you mom.

[jumbledone]

This whole issue can be confusing and embarrassing.

If NJ and her new man is starting this behavior and enforcing it there is no excuse for it and it is ridiculous.


My daughter was young when i met my now husband.
She starting calling him dad because
1)her now stepsister calls him dad(cause he's really her dad)
2)his name is very similar to the word dad-so since she could barely talk that's what she called him.
I did not encourage this behavior-although it took her a few months to understand what his name really was.

There are time when mom/dad is more embarrasing to correct that not
my stepdaughter-when we go out somewhere and someone calls me her mom in public-sometimes it's not worth it to correct them.

But there is no reason for the child to be told to call someone else dad.

I agree with talking to your attorney.
If you talk directly to NJ it will encourage her to push it even harder-knowing it bothers you.

I think you are wrong, for allowing another mans child to call a step, dad. I also think you are wrong for allowing a step child call you mom.

Reading through this, it makes sense in the way newwife approaches it. So Chad gets called Dad, and in a 3 year old's eyes, it might not even be that big of a stretch (not knowing how old the child was). My son still has a hard time with the soft CH sound, and he's 6. That plus someone the child looks up to (a little bit older) calls him dad. It is fighting a losing battle with a child over pronunciation when they cannot form the correct sound, and has failure and frustration written all over it.

As for out and about, someone tells SD to talk to her mom for this or that, what good is it to tell a stranger that she isn't her mom? Keep it short and sweet for both, and when appropriate, let each child know the real mom or dad, and point out the differences.