[VA] nj/stbx attorney offered me Every Other Weekend with S8

[demurrer]

All hell broke loose when I started to exceed and expect more than two (2) overnight visits per week with S8. Prior to me trying to get three (3) nights per week my nj/stbx was content to wait for the Custody Trial in 2013.

nj/stbx's attorney motioned the court for a hearing to move up the permanent custody trial ASAP with aspirations of locking me into one (1) overnight per week[/list]

Background:

temporary support hearing done.
No temporary < parenting time > hearing.
nj/stbx abandoned marital home and took S8 with her.
nj/stbx likes to cleverly deny or resist granting overnight stays.
nj/stbx avoided court ordered custody mediation.
I have exclusive use and posession of the marital residence
S8 walks 2,500' to school when at marital residence.

I think I received the typical low ball custody offer from stbx today which was joint custody masked as sole custody AND the equivalent of one (1) overnight per week.
* Every other weekend (Friday to Sunday 6pm).
* Every otther Tuesday for supper
* Ultra asymmetric joint custody arrangement (it reads like sole custody with all final decisions to the nj/stbx).
* nj/stbx rejected use of OurFamilyWizard.

Is it common practice for nj/stbx to start with a low ball custody offer?

I'm involved in my S8's life (education, sports, play dates, school trips, doctors visits). Prior to separation I wasn't involved in S8's life as much as I am now.

I've been asserting my parenting time and have a run rate of around three (3) nights per week at this time and that's made nj/stbx nervous to attempt settlement AND lock in my overnight visits to the equivalent of one (1) night per week.

If I've been asserting my parenting time would my nj/stbx use it against me for things like this:
* disrupting S8's weekend social schedule (because nj/stbx won't tell me what S8's social schedule is)
* picking up S8 after school on Friday and having him stay over for the weekend

[defaultuser]

If I were you I'd be getting the kid at least 50% of the time, if not more.

They are low balling you. You couldn't do worse than their offer.

F the NJ and her schedule. What about her disrupting your schedule with your kid? They want to seal the deal now because you're letting them win.

[demurrer]

If I were you I'd be getting the kid at least 50% of the time, if not more..

Three (3) overnights per week. Increasing to four (4) overnights per week with schedule disruptions.

They are low balling you. You couldn't do worse than their offer.

They've F***ed me every step of the way. NJ/stbx is looking a lifetime free ride and the only way she can accomplish that is by depriving me of reasonable < parenting time >/custody.

F the NJ and her schedule. What about her disrupting your schedule with your kid? They want to seal the deal now because you're letting them win.

I was letting them win while attorney letters were going back and forth. I started taking S8 on overnight visits and then started increasing number of nights until the number of nights started to cut into her gravey train (of spousal/child support). It's F***ing sad that the civil litatgation system still lets this crap like this destroy families with such an adversarial method.

+++
Picked up S8 from school today at dismissal by intercepting him and walking out a side door to avoid mother-in-law.

Sent text msg to nj/stbx when picking up S8.

nj/stbx calls around 4:30 pm to tell me she had a full weekend of plans and only discloses the first event (an after school birthday party starting at 5:30 pm). I buy birthday gift/card and take son to his friends birthday party.

Zero phone calls in the evening fron nj/stbx (claims she was calling to check up on S8).

Wife calls police to do a check up on S8 around 9 pm.

I take a random look outside and police are on the property around 10 pm.

They ring door bell, tell me that nj/stbx called them earlier and asked for a checkup on S8, I ask them to remain outside, they see S8 is OK, and leave without entering home.

During the 30 minutes before the police showed up S8 was on a video Skype session with nj/stbx sister-in-law. I suppose nj/stbx was already passed out from an evening emptying wine bottles.

I hope my efforts are recognized by the court as an indication of actively parenting S8.

[nighthawk]

I'd say, your doing good! Get police reports! Record everything! And do not engage the NJ!