Step father is harrassing me

[revbrian337]

My ex wife's new husband is harassing me for child support. My ex wife and I have an agreement while I am working on getting back on my feet after losing my job suddenly. She is fine with our agreement and I have documentation about that. What rights does he have, and what rights do I have as the father?

he sent me some very nasty texts that have a threatening tone to them, I have documented and made copies of these texts and am very concerned because where once everything was fine, he has made my time at my son's sporting activities very tense and unpleasant. I am very involved in my sons life and will continue to be. I just need to know what my rights are in this situation. I feel he has completely overstepped himself here.

[Fatheroffour]

If there is a court order requiring you to pay child support, you will owe it regardless of what your side deal agreement is.

To keep the peace in her house she will likely put a large knife in your back at some point soon.

[revbrian337]

I am planning on paying it and yes it is in the divorce decree which I am assuming amounts to a court order. the side deal was made because you simply cannot get blood from a rock, I have no money and in court she knows she would be unable to prove my unwillingness to pay any back amount.

[jumbledone]

Even if it is blood from a rock, are you throwing a couple of bucks their way occassionally?

I have not gone through this, but others have, and they said what kept their backsides out of trouble was the fact they were making good faith effort to pay something...

[defaultuser]

If you aren't making the same amount as the time of your CS order, you should file for a modification right now. If you aren't earning the money, and its not voluntary, then you should get a reduction, even if its temporary.

The reduction is based on the time of filing so file today.

[Trevor]

1. If there is a court order for CS and you're not paying te full amount ordered, she can and will recover every dime you failed to pay as ordered. Note that says "as ordered" and NOT "as agreed."

2. Your verbal agreement is meaningless as far as the state is concerned. You need to file papers to modify your CS because you're not working. Othrewise, you'll find yourself with mounting sums of money in arrears that you WILL have to pay. This way, your CS orders will be adjusted and she will not be able to ask for the full amount. However, the adjustment is NOT retroactive to your unemployment, it is only retroactive to the date you file for modification. FIle the modification.

3. Sure you may be right she cannot prove your unwillingness to pay. But you will face the risk of not only paying the arrearage and your legal costs to defend yourself, but also her legal fees. Your safest and smartest choice is #2 above. Do your homework, get it done this week with your lawyer. If you have no lawyer, search online for your local court's self-help section and use the instructions and forms there. Fail Not.

4. Ignore the idiot new husband. File for an order of protection if his threats are strong or if he is/may cause a scene at your kid's soccer match. That should shut him up.

5. While jumbled makes a good point by throwing a few buck their way, do it only by check and don;t expect the court to view it as magnanimity...they won't. If you pay less than the court ordered amount, guess how the court sees you? File the modification and simplify your life.

[revbrian337]

Thank you that is helpful. I will speak with a lawyer today about a modification, unfortunately I may have waited to late to help that. I have paid as much as I had available and have documented that as well. I understand that it won't amount to much if anything if and when she does file a contempt motion or whatever its called. I am also filing for bankruptcy this week as when she filed it caused a major hardship on me.

I am not trying to make waves in anyone's life here. There are just too many people in her ear about what they perceive about my life. It would be different if I was out buying new cars or toys and boozing it up. I work two jobs and still don't have enough to afford food for myself. I buy groceries for my son when he is with me so he doesn't see how I sacrifice. Again sorry for the rant, I appreciate the advice and will continue to document any communication her husband sends me so I can properly file any motions I need to against him. Maybe if I let him keep going I can sue him for harassment and use that money to pay her back lol.

[Trevor]

The best you might do with the meathead is a protective order, you're not going to get any money out of that deal. He'll just be ordered to stay away from you, so when you go see junior play soccer, get there before the game and sit where you want to and he'll have to stay away from you. And yes, you should always find the hottest girl at the game and sit next to her. Bring your mp3 recorder and have it on the whole time he is around in order to document his threatening behavior.

[hoosier_dad]

I will speak with a lawyer today about a modification, unfortunately I may have waited to late to help that.

It's only too late if you've found another job with a comparable salary. Otherwise you need to file ASAP.

[revbrian337]

One more question. The guy she married is quite well off and they aren't hurting for anything. I realize this in no way affects my responsibility to pay and I am not using that as a sad excuse. Does his income affect what would be in the modification since they are now married?