Daughter far away, just heard from CPS

[kms]

The only thing we have is court ordered child support that she obtained through the state with an affidavit of paternity that we had signed when our daughter was born. My lawyer told me we'd have to establish paternity with a DNA test as our first step when we go to court. The child support order has nothing in it about parenting time, it just states that I'm the non-custodial parent.

[kms]

Just found out that my ex wanted to sign custody over to her mom a couple of months ago when CPS got involved. I'm not sure if this actually happened. Would that be enough to have me be the primary custodian?

[Fatheroffour]

I think the 3 child abuse cases is enough.

But that's me.

[kms]

I was hoping that too, but the legal secretary for my lawyer thinks it'll be hard to get custody switched over since I haven't been in our daughter's life as much as my ex. I'm meeting with my actual lawyer later next week. I'm really hoping he disagrees.

Since there is proof of child abuse/neglect, what type of custody arrangement should I ask for? Would it be wrong to want sole legal and primary physical with supervised < parenting time >? I worry that once the custody battles begins, the ex will take her negative feelings on me out on our daughter.

[Trevor]

Sole legal and primary physical with supervised < parenting time > is the way I'd go, to protect the child.

If she retaliates against the child your lawyer must be prepared to escalate it to an emergency.

[hoosier_dad]

Since there is proof of child abuse/neglect, what type of custody arrangement should I ask for? Would it be wrong to want sole legal and primary physical with supervised < parenting time >? I worry that once the custody battles begins, the ex will take her negative feelings on me out on our daughter.

If you don't request supervised < parenting time > for the ex you are minimizing the danger to your child IMO. If you send that signal to the judge that you don't believe the abuse warrants supervised < parenting time > why would the judge award you custody?

[kms]

Update... Looks like I am getting custody during the school year with no < parenting time > from my ex except during the summer. I consider this a huge win. Once I finally got here, I got the run around from the circuit clerk and quite a few lawyers. I was told I couldn't file for paternity/custody until I establish enough residency... So I basically begged my ex to see our kid (yes, pathetic). She gave me a date, time, and place and no other details. She showed up with her boyfriend, no kid in sight. They both b!tched me out for a good 30 minutes. I kept my cool, but I was PO'd beyond belief. The next day I got to see our kid and she got to meet one of her sisters. It went well. Ex and I worked things out. She's moving out of state and wants to avoid future CPS problems with our kid. All I need to do now is get it legal through mediation and I'm set.

[minuette]

Wow. You're fortunate that her mother basically gave up and didn't split with your daughter. The sooner you can get the parenting agreement signed and filed, the better.

Question: what happens right now, since it's summertime?

[capslock]

You have some making up to do and it sounds like that 6 year old really needs someone who will not give up on her. I wish you and her the best and I am excited for you both. Come through for her.

[kms]

Yes, I do... And that is the plan. Our kid is with her mom right now... Right now we are going through kind of a reintroduction phase. Ex is letting me call and see her basically whenever I want. School registration starts the second week of August. My furniture should be delivered by the end of July and after it gets her, she can come live with me. We'll be going to mediation to get things legal in the meantime. Her and her beau will be moving away in a couple of months, my wife will get here the beginning of August. I'm thinking we're going to be doing some family therapy for my daughter's sake. I know it's a lot to take in.