Texas Office of the Attorney General

[Shaneo20]

Hello everyone. This is my first post.

I am wondering if anyone has dealt with the OAG rather than going to court for custody and child support settlements.

My wife has booked an appointment to the OAG and I am wondering if there are any pitfalls.

The current situation is that we are living together but I will be moving 3.5 hours away by car for work. She is scared that I will not meet my family obligations and has decided that she wants to have a child support arrangement in place before I go.

I like the idea of not going through the court system as I have little money. I will be asking for a standard possession order.

What problems are there in going down this route?

Thanks

[BartSimpson]

What problems are there in going down this route?

The biggest problem will be your kids growing up without their Dad.

It is generally considered to your advantage to run child support payments through the appropriate state agency - it's best practice for payment accounting in the future.

[Trevor]

Don't move 3.5 hours away from your kids.

[Thoughts?]

The job of the OAG is to collect as much CS as possible. It is not to protect your interests, it is to protect the custodial parent's interests presumably by making sure the non-custodial parent doesn't get away with paying too little. The current AG is very aggressive in that regard. They are rewarded with Federal matching dollars for maxing collections.

You would be best staying put as the other guys reference & going for 50-50 or extended standard which is survivable at about 41%. Or if you move out of area, don't let the AG decide your CS as they are rewarded for shooting high, go to an impartial mediator. And at a minimum, pay an attorney an hour or two worth of fees to make sure any agreement you have is reasonable & consistent with Texas guidelines.

[Shaneo20]

Thank you for your replies. Just to give you some more of an idea of the situation:

I received a good job offer that will have me working 3.5 hours away. I will be able to make it back every weekend. Me and the wife are currently living together. We have had rough patches and nearly split up a couple of times but the marriage seems okay at the moment. She says she wants this as a safe guard. She likes to have things her way and has a lot of trust issues. I think she thinks that I will probably not support her and my son.

Thoughts? if I we do not agree to the terms of the settlement what consequences result? Will this automatically go to court? I do not have much money but I think I can afford to have a few meetings with a lawyer to discuss things further. Is it fine to represent yourself in court? My son is 1 year old, is it usual for the judge to award the primary custodial parent more access than the standard possession order when the kids are under 3? Also I understand that if I am responsible for the health insurance. Is that correct? At the moment she has him covered so should I put him under my policy before proceeding with this? How do I go about finding a mediator? If I tell the AG that we are still living together will this nullify the claim?

In addition, I am traveling to Australia in June for a holiday. I am actually Australian and I am here as a permanent resident. She has refused to sign off on a passport for fear that I will take my son and not return. She has no basis for these fears other than what she may have experienced with others in the past. If things did go to court, is it likely that the judge would allow me to let me son travel in order to see my mom and other family members?

Sorry for all of the questions but I am very new to this and unsure of what to do.

[Fatheroffour]

We have had rough patches and nearly split up a couple of times but the marriage seems okay at the moment.

You are very naive. Your wife is taking you to daddy government to put his hand in your pocket for her benefit.

You won't be gone a month before the new boyfriend is tucking your kid in at night.

Your wife is taking you to court for child support? You better get up to speed quick. When she becomes your ex wife you're going to have your hands full.

[capslock]

...

[Txbizman]

Thoughts? if I we do not agree to the terms of the settlement what consequences result? Will this automatically go to court?

If no one has filed for divorce the AG can't do zip about anything you dont agree to. Sounds like you need to learn how to tell your wife NO. If you head down the divorce road (which is a very hard road, avoid if marriage is salvageable) you need to get your balls back and put the word NO back in your vocabulary.

Probably once the AG tells her she needs to file something for you to get your paycheck zapped. Don't give her too much, she may squirrel it away and file on you unexpectedly.

[Shaneo20]

Thanks Txbizman. I do have a hard time saying no to my wife. I am going to go to the appointment with the AG and explain the situation to them and not sign anything. I will then get the wrath from my wife but it is better than getting myself into a situation that I do not want to be in. Hopefully as time passes my wife will see that I will support her and my child and I that things will work out. She really does suffer from a fear of being left destitute and me taking away my son. I am not sure where it stems from though.

[Fatheroffour]

Hopefully as time passes my wife will see that I will support her and my child and I that things will work out.

Brother, she already knows you will support her and your child and she knows she can use the state to force you.

You don't see the train thats coming down the tracks but everyone else does.