Please, I need advice....child support

[fortysomething]

First I apologize for this being so long, but it's my story and predicament. So thanks in advance for bearing with me and reading.

I am married but have been living apart for 3 years. My wife left our marital home because we have a disabled daughter and she couldn't handle the daily requirements of caring for our child alone while I was at work. Said she needed help all day, not just when I got home from work. So she moved 2 hours away to her mom and dad's and has been living there ever since. We are not divorced, have not filed for divorce. We are married but live apart. She has never worked a job, even before our child was born. Since she left, I have given her money each month for food and other living expenses, all the while continuing to pay for all the bills we incurred together. Mortgage, vehicle notes, insurance, etc.

Now she has petitioned with the child support division in our state and is sueing me for child support. Let me state, I HAVE NO PROBLEM SUPPORTING MY CHILD, i WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT MY CHILD, I just want to make sure that I am being done fairly. I contend that when the amount of child support is computed, the marital bills that I am paying should be considered as I am the only supporter of the family, thus lowering my child support. But I don't know if this is a valid argument and I have a case. I just don't know what to do. any advice is appreciated.

[Fatheroffour]

You are in the worst possible position. The truth is you will be lucky if you only get away with paying guideline support and do not have an entire special needs additional worksheet added on top of that.

I understand your thought on the CS vs marital bills but that's not going to get very far in court.

What state is this?

[Anza]

Forty,

It would be helpful if you posted your state of residence.
Most CS is determined by state formula based on parent income and physical custody percentages.....

[fortysomething]

The state is Mississippi. Law mandates 14% of adjusted net income. I just don't know if it would benefit me to carry it to court or just agree to the 14% without a court battle. I want the marital expenses I am paying to be considered, but I just don't know if a judge will do that. So confused.

[Thermite]

Wait a minute-
You said you are are still married. Not divorced, and no one has even filed for divorce. Do you have a legal separation (signed by a judge)? Are you sure she didn't file for divorce at the same time, and you just haven't been served yet?

Because I'm not understanding how she or the state can make you pay child support to your wife.

In my state, the guideline CS for one child is 20% of net income. 14% doesn't sound that bad at all. But like mentioned, you very likely could end up paying much more than the minimum for the rest of your (or your handicapped daughter's) life. Do you have absolute documented proof that you have been sending money for your child all this time? Because you aught to prepare for your (STBX?) wife lying on the stand, and saying you never contributed a penny, in which case you risk being slapped with back child support as well. This would likely be a financial hole you could never climb out of.

When was the last time you saw your daughter?

[cdavis]

You can get child support while still married. I do think you should go ahead and pay it, that is probably the minimum you will owe... plus she is not asking for alimony (or post separation support) yet. Did she not ask you for it before to child services? She may be requesting govt assistance, some programs require they file for child support to get it.

[anonymous guest]

Did she move out and take the kid? Or move out on her own?

[Tyrell]

She may be requesting govt assistance, some programs require they file for child support to get it.

Bingo!
I'd put money on it that this is whats happening.
Do you have health insurance, she may be applying for medicade
or possibly foodstamps.

Also, the Judge won't care what your other expenses are, marital or not, you will be ordered to pay the amount as calculated by the state.

[spritom]

Money from you appears to have risen to the top of her list.
If the money part sounds agreeable, how about using this as an opportunity to finalize any other needed paperwork (divorce, custody, parenting time arrangements, who gets the car, the toaster, the bowling ball, etc.).

Maybe if it's kept low key enough and she gets the money she's wanting, she might be up for "putting on paper what is already taking place" type thing.