I'm wondering what my case looks like to an outsider.

[MyBeautifulDaughter]

So my wife of just over 3 years had an affair and left me. The man she left me for has been arrested at least 6 times (2 DUI, drug posession, probation violation). He recently went through his own divorce and only has every other weekend with his S3.

Even after I found out about the adultery, I wanted to work things out but STBX did not. I filed for divorce before she ever even called a lawyer. When she did get a lawyer they were more concerned about who should pay bills rather than custody of D1 (which has been my concern since the day STBX walked out). In Georgia, since I owned the house, furniture, and my truck prior to the marriage, she has no rights to them. All we have to fight over is her car (I don't want it I just think she should be paying for it) and our D1.

My STBX is living in a bedroom at a friends house. Her friend already has 2 kids of her own. STBX sleeps on a mattress on the floor and has our D1 sleeping in a play-pin in the corner of the room. There are dog pee pads on the floors all over the house and dog food bowls everywhere. The house my STBX is living in is a filthy pig stye. I have secured a true 50/50 arrangement until the divorce (28 Aug 2012). Whenever I have D1 I am caring for her all by myself whereas STBX has her friend and her friend's 2 kids to help care for D1.

Everytime I get my D1 back she has a bad rash. I understand babies get rashes but I'm able to have it totally cleared up before I return D1 to her mother. I have taken date and time stamped pics of the rashes and been to the doctor for medical documentation. I have also found cuts and bruises on my D1. I have taken pics of those too. Another thing I have noted is that my D1 is very clingy to me whenever I get her. I have been to the house where STBX is keeping her and found that she is not paying D1 any attention.

STBX likes to get blackout drunk and go partying as much as possible. While we were together she often said that she never got to "go out and party or have a good time." I have strong evidence that my STBX has been leaving D1 at her friends house and going out all hours of the night. I also have stong evidence that STBX has had her paramour around our D1 (as in she was doing him in my bed while I was at work). My STBX is obsessed with her phone. This year so far she has exchanged an average of 4,100 text messages a month. Before she left I averaged about 100 per month. If she's not texting she is on Facebook for hours at a time.

I have recently been informed that STBX had sex with someone in 2010 also. She doesn't know that I have that infomation yet.

STBX and I make the exact same amount of money. The difference is that I net less because I am still paying her health insurance. I am also stuck paying for her car, cell phone, half of daycare, her car insurance, and all the household bills. STBX took $13,000 when she left. I am 30 and STBX is 24. I have settled down and don't "party" anymore. I have owned my house for 6 years and my D1 has her own room, bed, and toys there. I was in the military for 6 years (prior to meeting STBX) and I pride myself in keeping my house immaculate.

We live in Georgia. What does my case for sole custody look like?

[Fatheroffour]

I assume this rash you are talking about is diaper rash, from not changing the baby's diaper while in her care?

Generally, It's not too easy getting sole custody in Georgia. The vast majority of the time both parents will get joint legal and physical with one or te other either having the final decision making authority over the four major areas of education, religion. medical and extracirricular. If final decision making authority isn't stated in the final parenting plan, a dispute resolution process is called for by statute.

Unless you can get the childs rashes and bruises classified as abuse by the authorities and the mother held accountable for them the best outcome you will likely get is joint physical with the mother getting every other weekend and joint legal with you having final decision making authority in each of the 4 main areas.

Even if you can get the rashes and bruises classified as abuse and the mother held accountable and placed on supervised < parenting time > the goal of the state is to get her through the parenting programs, pay her fines and fees and get her regular < parenting time > with the child.

[Fatheroffour]

The judge is the wildcard in the equation. What kind of insight has your attorney provided about your judge?

[Trevor]

She took $13,000 so she can pay for her own car, insurance, and cell phone. I'd stop funding her lifestyle immediately.

[MyBeautifulDaughter]

All indications show that my lawyer is really good at his job. I researched him pretty heavily and asked other people about him. My STBX's lawyer is an ambulance chaser. Every lawyer I have ever spoken to does not respect him at all. My STBX and her lawyer hardly communicate according to her phone records and the email adress that she gave me access to (when we were still together).

As far as the judge goes, I've been told that my lawyer and the judge are golf buddies. The judge is old school and very conservative. I think this works out well for me because I am very conservative myself. I was raised in a military family (both of my parents are retired E9s) and I have never been in trouble with the law, never in my life touched an illegal drug, and I've never abused anything (prescriptions, alcohol, animals, women, children). I have a 4 year degree (4.0 GPA) and a very stable job.

STBX recently put blonde and red streaks in her hair. She has absolutley no idea how to act professional. I had to pick out her clothes and coach her so she could get the job she currently has.

During the marriage, I did all the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, paying bills, taxes, and I played a major role in caring for my D1.

I know no one has a crystal ball but I'm just looking for someone to say something encouraging. My D1 deserves better than her mother can or wants to provide for her.

[MyBeautifulDaughter]

She took $13,000 so she can pay for her own car, insurance, and cell phone. I'd stop funding her lifestyle immediately.

That's what I think about that too. we only owed $10,000 on the car.

P.S. Trevor, you should see about making that list of yours a sticky or whatever y'all call them in this forum. Again it has really helped me these past few days. I've just about memorized #4

[Fatheroffour]

It looks to me like you have a good case for primary. Maybe even a stint at supervised < parenting time > for mom if you can get the bruises and rash characterized as abuse, but you won't be able to cut mom out completely because she is substandard.

You do that in the vetting process before you have children with her.

[hoosier_dad]

With a D1 I'd be much more worried about protecting your current 50/50 custody than I would be about chasing sole custody. Without clear and convincing evidence of your STBX being a danger to D1 chasing sole could hurt you more than it would help. Better to reinforce your 50/50 custody and look at primary rather than chase sole IMO.

9 times out of 10 when we hear someone has strong evidence it isn't and is usually not even admissible. I'm curious what constitutes strong evidence in your case.

[Fatheroffour]

JTA, I'm in Georgia. I've personally known women in her age bracket to get supervised < parenting time > for having DV in the home w/BF or that have had doper BF's convicted of drug offenses even when the bf wasn't living in the home. I've also know men with far worse complaints about mom that eneded up with EOW.

There are few standards.

For sure, focus on keeping what you have and , uh, a red streak in her hair isn't even worthy of mention.

[MyBeautifulDaughter]

For sure, focus on keeping what you have and , uh, a red streak in her hair isn't even worthy of mention.

I know it isn't but I keep fantasizing STBX showing up to court dressed inappropriately with her hair all different colors and the judge looking down on her for it. Unhealthy I know but it sure would be funny.