Alias Summons for child support...wtf?

[devilman13]

So I recieved a summons for a August court date by the local sheriff. I went to court in 2010 and was awarded primary custody with no child support based on the time I have my kids (Monday 7am-Friday 5pm), paid health insurance but was unemployed at the time. I got my old job back shortly thereafter and didnt hear from the local CS office until last November (very rude by the way) at which time I submitted my income, insurance, schedule and my primary custody.


I havent heard anything from them until this past thursday by a summons stating that the income has changed since, I dont pay insurance (which I do) and saying my ex is the primary...wtf!?. I also appealed to the IRS for the EIC on my taxes which she filed before me but the IRS ruled in my favor when I supplied my divorce papers. All the documents I have are notarized and signed by the judge. I have a appt with my lawyer wednesday to dicuss this mess.

On top of this my oldest son(15) is wanting to live with me and has told me she does nothing but drink and also told me that he found pot in her house which upset him quite a bit but is afraid to make that decision based on her side of the family hating him if he does. He also told me Ive been more of a mom AND dad to him than she ever could be.

What do you guys think? The CS office is not getting the updated paperwork, I make almost 2x what she does but she gets Tenncare, foodstamps, housing etc based on OLD PAPERWORK and I have to answer to them... I dont get it.

[lohe]

I think it's about time you take a trip to the CS office and give them official copies of the paperwork in person. Be as polite as you possibly can; they note things like that in their internal system. They noted that my ex was a rude **** to everyone she talked to and that she seemed to be lying about her CS claims (I was polite to the people I talked to so they told me this even though they were not supposed to).

[Chris A]

Yes a little road trip might save you hundreds in lawyer fees. They have big heads down there but if you dress nice are prepared with copies for them and clearly state your case you might settle it by yourself. Never trust them though if there is a court date be there.

[devilman13]

Well both of my kids S15 and S12 have both said they wanted to live with me full time. My younger son found a bag of pot at her house and asked his brother what it was which he took it to his mother and threw it in her face. S15 and her argue almost every weekend till the point it gets violent, he has had beer bottles thrown at him and she has dared him to hit her( she also tried this withe me but I kept my cool which only pissed her off more)

Along with the bill collectors, hospital bills, IRS, defaulted on school loans and lied about her custody to get Tenncare, foodstamps, housing etc I dont get why the CS office ask HER all these questions. I have them 80% of the time, pay health insurance and support their every need where as soon as she gets money shes buying beer, weed, cigarettes etc. Im tired of her lies about it all. I not perfect by no means but will DO ANYTHING for my kids first.

She also said if this came to be she would tell my oldest son the "truth" about me( not biological father) but at this point I dont think it will matter, he told me Ive been more of a mom and dad than she could ever be.

[jumbledone]

She also said if this came to be she would tell my oldest son the "truth" about me( not biological father) but at this point I dont think it will matter, he told me Ive been more of a mom and dad than she could ever be.

At 15, I think he's old enough to know you're not biological to him. He may already suspect it based upon differences between him and his younger sibling. Why not sit him down and let him know? I am assuming you adopted him. If so, that fact should remove any additional leverage she has with the courts.

Telling him on your terms will also p1ss NJ off big time, because she can no longer hold that over your head. You just need to have a conversation:

You: S, I need to talk to you about something, it's past due, but important for you to know. When you were a kid, I came into your life, and came to love you very strongly. Because of that, I adopted you.

S15: Frack you! Why didn't you tell me before you are not my father?

You: Because I am your father, regardless of DNA, and will love you always. If you ever have any questions, please don't hestitate to talk to me.

[Fatheroffour]

I've had just such a conversation.

I told him that normally a parent is stuck with the kid they get. They don't have a choice but with him I did. I loved him and wanted to be his father so I am and I always will be.

[Trevor]

Unless it comes up naturally or as a result of some court action, this could easily be perceived as alienating. Tread carefully.

[Fatheroffour]

Easy to deflect any alienation claims and once she threatened the 'truth' there is no way I would let her be the one that first told kiddo.

[Trevor]

Great point there Fo4. Tread carefully but agree not to let her own that issue.