'I wish you didn't have kids'

[Fatheroffour]

Oh. so one would give their belly warmer a pearl necklace.

[RC211V]

I can't get to that link from the computer I'm at, but I think I got it...

I remember once she said I'm almost everything she wants in a guy. In the conversation where she said 'I wish you didn't have kids' (we were talking just over the weekend) she elaborated a bit and said this relationship would be perfect if it was just how it is, but without my two kids. That's why she doesn't want to leave, because it's almost what she wants. < edited > man, saying this out loud makes it plain... I guess that's another reason I wanted to say it on here. I just listened to her when she was talking, didn't say anything, thought about it, memorized her words as well as I could and waited until I could write it down and listen to it again for a better perspective.

[Trevor]

Dude, it's clear to me you were looking at her cleavage and not listening to a word she said. WTFU man.

[dobradavid]

So...do you want someone around who is (at best) "waiting" for something to happen to your kids? A bit like Hilary Clinton going into the Democratic nomination - "waiting" for something to happen to Obama (she actually said that).

I can't get to that link from the computer I'm at, but I think I got it...

I remember once she said I'm almost everything she wants in a guy. In the conversation where she said 'I wish you didn't have kids' (we were talking just over the weekend) she elaborated a bit and said this relationship would be perfect if it was just how it is, but without my two kids. That's why she doesn't want to leave, because it's almost what she wants. < edited > man, saying this out loud makes it plain... I guess that's another reason I wanted to say it on here. I just listened to her when she was talking, didn't say anything, thought about it, memorized her words as well as I could and waited until I could write it down and listen to it again for a better perspective.

[Trevor]

I remember once she said I'm almost everything she wants in a guy.

Interpretation: YOU are the Consolation Prize. The chump for whom she condescended to settle because she couldn't find her dream guy. Plan B. Second-best. The shoes in the discount rack.

Is that good enough for you? Really? For your kids?

[RC211V]

Yeah yeah I got it! That's what I'm thinking already! You guys are really pounding it into me! haha.

[mysonismysun]

Dude, she may not necessarily be a bad person for saying that, lots of women feel that way, but she obviously does not fit into YOUR equation! Whether you know it or not she already resents your kids. Ruuuuun! You are a FATHER before you are a boyfriend. Always choose your kids over the girl. You need to kick her to the curb brother.

[dobradavid]

But be nice - you "don't deserve her".

Dude, she may not necessarily be a bad person for saying that, lots of women feel that way, but she obviously does not fit into YOUR equation! Whether you know it or not she already resents your kids. Ruuuuun! You are a FATHER before you are a boyfriend. Always choose your kids over the girl. You need to kick her to the curb brother.

[spritom]

For the GF's, BF's, SO's, etc. that take on the full relationship and do the step-parent role...hats off to them. It's not easy knowing the different unwritten boundaries and things to watch out for. Plus there's quite a bit of sacrifice for the step-parent as it does involve putting the children (or sometimes some struggle with the children's other parent) to the foreground.

Not easy indeed.

Nevertheless, I wouldn't take anything less. If your GF is just finding her groove and growing into the role, but indicating that she's changing on her own...yeah, it's not easy. But if she's just indicating where her personal boundaries are (which is a healthy thing), then she's simply not a match for this role with you or your children and it's sayonara.

[Bubba Seal]

RG, you cant get rid of your kids, you can get rid of the GF and find one that is more suited to your lifestyle.

You are thinking with the wrong brain as far as the GF is concerned, this is doomed if it continues.

Good Luck