Ex wants to get retroactive incremental child support..What?

Parental Alienation Syndrome, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Ex wants to get retroactive incremental child support..What?

Postby dad23 » Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:08 pm

My divorce was mediated and friendly. I agreed to give her the house, for joint custodial responsibility. There is no joint custody..but I agreed that the child should live with her. I have liberal phone and < parenting time > rights, and see my son as much as possible. Over the years I have made more money and my ex would come to me and ask for more. I would gladly comply since I figured it was the right thing to do. for a few years back in 2002-2004, I made substantially more than what I was originally making prior to the divorce. I did not tell her how much. Now, after all these years of steadily paying support, and many extra things, She found out about the large salary I was making. Now she says, eventhough I have been paying on time for 9 years, She wants me to pay her all the money that I may have been forced to pay if a judge ordered it all those years ago. I said no way and now she want to take me to court to get retroactive incremental child support...the amount is substantial and would be nearly 20k...Now, I am no deadbeat Dad..I have taken my son on trips to costa rica, Drive trips through the grand canyon area and He has never wanted for anything. i live 10 minutes away and see as much as I can. Can She actually go to court and get a judge to award incremental child support from years ago? Eventhough I have increased the support on my own over the years?
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Re: Ex wants to get retroactive incremental child support..What?

Postby Trevor » Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:44 pm

No she cannot. But why not do your homework, find out what the proper figure is for today, pay her ONLY what the court papers require of you, making up the difference with your cool trips and adventures with the kids? Let her take you to court for a CS modification (of course, you can settle before an actual hearing, for the amount you have researched is the proper figure). In most states, CS mods are retro only back to the Filing Date, not a minute before.
Dual Parenting, not Duel Parenting.
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Re: Ex wants to get retroactive incremental child support..What?

Postby Thoughts? » Wed Dec 10, 2008 1:04 pm

If your original orders say you should be paying $x child support, and you have paid the $x support through the court-ordered means & can show same, then you are fine, until she actually submits a motion. Child support revisions cannot be backdated, and you are only obligated to pay what you have been ordered to pay.

Note my tag line, and Trev's advice. If you are making good bucks, put it aside for the kids or use it for them until the court tells you otherwise. Still be generous -- just maintain control. Make her work for any increase. And she is blowing smoke on the back-dating.
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Re: Ex wants to get retroactive incremental child support..What?

Postby dad23 » Wed Dec 10, 2008 1:19 pm

Thank you for the replies..they are greatly appreciated.. I only want what is best for my son. It really hurts when your ex says you are ripping her off and that I owe her the money. I will always be there for my son..I do not think I should have to support Her too..
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Re: Ex wants to get retroactive incremental child support..What?

Postby Thoughts? » Wed Dec 10, 2008 1:23 pm

That's kinda the point...you don't have to support her....

In my case, my biggest regret on the divorce is giving her too much support & too generous a settlement. I could be much better off now, but am not.

Of the free cash you have, you can still use it for the kids. Put into a Section 529 to guarantee them a future. Take them crawling through ruins in Italy or Turkey or (after it calms down) Greece. Or museum & cathedral & war site hopping in France & the Netherlands. Or walk the great wall. Or for that matter, supporting their school, their sports team, driving cross country to see that giant ball of yarn in the middle of Kansas come place, etc.
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Re: Ex wants to get retroactive incremental child support..What?

Postby dad23 » Wed Dec 10, 2008 1:44 pm

He is a great kid..We have been to many places..In fact his Uncle is taking him to France this month..nice Uncle..right?..This forum is great. I am feeling so much better. I know that this is not like legal advice or anything..but still..It give me hope that I can still take the extra money and spend it on the Kid instead of helping her pay her rent.
:D
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Re: Ex wants to get retroactive incremental child support..What?

Postby Thoughts? » Wed Dec 10, 2008 6:22 pm

She has an equal obligation to support the child. The key thing is to not screw the child. If you accomplish that, you are good.
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