Hi and welcome to DadsDivorce, the leader in divorce help for men, fathers rights and mens rights. We provide divorced dads with concrete, practical divorce resources to achieve the best results in the courtroom.
im having a really hard time dealing with my break up and losing my daughter..... I fell alone and that theres no one i can go to for help. I love my daughter and her mother very very much but she changed almost a year and a half after my daughter was born the ex decided that she needs her own life and left with out saying anything and took my daughter with her all i knew was she was leaving to visit her parents like she did almost every other week and it was the day after xmas so i didnt think to much of it I mean everything was going really well tell i got a call from her saying she wasnt coming back.... Sence then things have gone to hell it seems like. the mother is insistent on staying gone and keeping my daughter from me Ive seen my daughter 8 times sence xmas on top of that my ex is preg with my son who is due in a few weeks And she wont let me even be there after he is born.. this is killing me inside everything is getting so hard I dont want to fight for my childs time I want to be there for her whenever she needs me,, I dont feel right trying to take her away from her mom even tho she left the way she did Shes still a amazing mother but im a good dad to =/ this doesnt seem right theres gotta be somthing out there i can do please someone im beggin for help i missing so much of my childs life and i will miss even more of my unborn sons. already I wasnt even allowed to my baby girls 2nd birthday and im missng my sons birth. I really need help i have no one to go to, I wanna feel good agian Im tired of crying to sleep is there anything i can do?
"To a father waxing old and lone, nothing is dearer than a daughter."
Get a good lawyer (and keep it to yourself) and find out if she is willing to go to marriage counseling. Because that is the only thing you can do to protect your future. And "good mothers" don't keep their children from their good fathers. No one says you have to take them from her, but there is no reason why you shouldn't see your kids 50% of the time if you cannot repair your marriage.
Sorry to hear about this Tactic. Bottom line, take care of your health first, or you won't be much good to your children. See your doctor for assistance with sleep, but be careful not to refill the `scrip much--cannot get dependent on sleep aid. Do your best to eat well and try to exercise. Cut back on caffeine. Look into therapy if this does not work.
Stay in touch with your parents/siblings; ask them for their ears and hearts during this challenge. Read the posts here, ask questions, try to get the dust settled so you can think clearly. If you think reconciliation is possible, reach out to her and perhaps her family if you had good relationships with them.
Protect your assets. Open solo checking/savings/credit accounts. Read The List. Start screening father-friendly lawyers, even if a lawyer isn't on your front burner...don't get caught unprepared.
Most of all, I reiterate caring for yourself as the primary thing you should do (you sound freaked out). We have been there, dude, it sucks, but you gotta keep it together for the kids. Hang in there.
I would also tell you that my doctor recommended Benedryl as a sleep aid. It is not habit forming, but will zonk you out so you can get some decent sleep without rerunning the movie about your situation in your head all night.
I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through right now.
You definitely need to see a lawyer and file a motion to at least get your parenting time enforced. You are entitled to this regardless of how "good of a mother" your EX may be.
She could decide if she wanted to be married but she has no right to decide whether or not you can be a father. No judge will allow this kind of behavior if the father is a positive role model with no issues. In fact here in Michigan, the kind of behavior that your EX is engaged in is very much frowned upon and will often come back to bite them later if either of you have to go to court again.
This board is a great place to air your feelings and get good response. Do you have family, friends and even clergy that you can talk to. The suggestion of seeing a therapist is excellent. I did it for nearly a year and it kept me from going crazy! One final question, do you drink? If so, try to put it aside. It is a depressant and will make you feel worse. It will also mess with your sleep patterns as well.
I wish you the best of luck. I will keep you in my prayers.
Let me tell you. I am sure most of us here have had many sad days when dealing with a divorce. This is totally normal. Everyone is right. You got to get a lawyer. You have to show you truly care about your child and the one on the way. Also try and talk to her. Let her know you want to work on your relationship. See if she is willing to do the same. It sounds like she has some problems of her own. She is wrong for taking the child away from you and not letting you see her, but just a couple of times. That is not fair to the child. She needs to quit thinking about herself and do what is right for the child. You are the father and you have rights to see her.
Please hang in there. Do not give up. You have to stay strong and by doing that things will get better. Please continue to update us on what is going on with your situation. This board is very helpful. I know it has been for me.
I agree about the good mother part. If she was a good mother she would be aware of the fact that your kids need you just as much as they need her.
My ex did almost the same thing to me. I had just gotten out of the military and we moved back to smalltown USA. We were both bored after a year and decided that we liked the military lifestyle. So I signed up to go back in the military, had to go through bootcamp again, and as soon as I get to the base and called home, I find out that she is fliing for a divorce and is going to move with my kids. Stupid witch had played along the whole time!!
Long story short, I got discharged, came home and got a loan for 3,000 to retain the meanest pit bull lawyer in town. I filed to get temporary custody of the kids which was granted until the actual custody hearing, and she had to have supervised custody with them until that time.
Do what ever you have to do to get competent legal help and take at least an hour a day to go do some hard core workouts at the gym, that should take care of any sleeping problems you have.