men get screwed on child support

Parental Alienation Syndrome, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

men get screwed on child support

Postby amberp » Thu Jan 27, 2005 11:28 am

i have a son who lives w/ me. his mother does not come around and does not pay child support. she owes me around $8, 000 in back support. i have raised my son alone since he was 2 and he is now 5. im not sure if i can garnish her wages b/c she works off and on as a stripper and moves alot so i can never find her to serve the papers. the point is i receive nothing from her. i have a daughter w/ another woman that i pay support to. the judge ordered me to pay 309 a month. i pay her 200 a month sometimes more if i can and pay for her medical insurance. i also have her once a week and every other weekend. her mother was fine w/ this as long as i am involved but recently her mother has threatened to garnish my wages. i do not want to be a bad father. im trying to be involved in my childs life and do the best i can. but if i give her any more money then i can't support my son who lives w/ me. after i pay my support im left w/ 100 bucks to live on for my son. it is not fair to punish one child over another. i know the laws are to protect children from dead beat fathers but what abuot dead beat mothers. i receive no help and yet punished for supporting my other child does anyone know what i can do. please help
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Postby Pete » Thu Jan 27, 2005 12:58 pm

That is brutal. As usual a father trying to the right thing for his kids, getting completely screwed by the system. If the father were the one skipping out on his obligations, he would be in jail and the mother would be screaming bloody murder about it.

I am not sure if your inability to receive support for one child will affect the calculations for your ability to pay support for another. As the rule goes, the first child gets first dibs on your income....

If the mother who is receiving support is threatening to garnish wages, then that implies that she no longer is comfortable with your agreement. tell her that you can pay the 309 support, but she will have to pay YOU the pro-rated share of the family health plan that provides her medical insurance. Of course, if you are court ordered to pay the insurance for that mother, then using that would not work. Certainly if you are providing the insurance at any extra out of pocket, or pre-tax expense...and not court ordered to....I would use that as a negotiating tool. Sure you get the 109 a month, but you pay me the difference between single w./child healthplan and family plan.

Good luck
Don't worry about what you cannot control. Focus on what is legally relevant, not morally indignant or petty.
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Men get screwed on child support

Postby Sympathetic F » Thu Jan 27, 2005 4:25 pm

Hi,
Yeah, my bf got "demand" letter for him to pay what his ex went in w/ false papers saying he was to pay. She lied about custody, her work, income, every factor. They were on him in a minute w/ a stern demand that he pay his child support.. when he's got the kids most of the time, and has none to pay !
He went in w/ proof otherwise, they commisserated with him, but did nothing. He had to actually file against her. Wouldn't you think the child support agency would have done something about fraud??

In your case, I'd make sure you file against her w/ Child Support Office. Just have it on the record at the least. Who knows, sometime down the road she may be working at a reliable job and you can re-coup some of the money to help w/ future costs, reimbursement, college or something. I think there's more criticism of a deadbeat dad in terms of financial support, but more criticism of a deadbeat mom for not being w/ her kids, involved, taking care of them. Should be equal.

You'd think if that Child Support Office realizes you are not getting some income you are supposed to, it would affect your ability to pay the other. Making sure all is revealed to them may be your best bet. Good luck.
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Re: men get screwed on child support

Postby Disappointed Father » Mon May 23, 2011 10:30 am

My husband is currently paying child support and has NEVER missed a payment. The mother has recently asked for his paychecks stubs to collect on his overtime. Now he already pays her $225 a week for one child and now she wants 20 percent of his overtime. He has another son from another mother (whom he has sole custody of) and does not receive a dime from his mother. He needs to work his overtime just to stay above water so that we do not get behind in our own bills because he pays so much child support already. The mother receiving the child support also receives child support ($1000 a month) from her other kids father. So you do the math $900 + $1000= $1900 dollars a month for sitting on your butt makng babies while these hard working fathers get robbed. YES, people make mistakes and fathers need to take care of their children that they helped make, but what about the mothers? Shouldn't they be held responsible for their child they made as well? Laying on your back and making babies does not really qualify as a fulltime job to support your children. Fathers are not treated fair in court. While she is robbing my husband and taking him for every dime he has, he cannot get a dime from the other deadbeat mother to help support his other son. There is just too many similar case out here for nothing to be done about it.
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Re: men get screwed on child support

Postby dadmisseskids » Mon May 23, 2011 10:41 am

You do realize that this post is over 6 years old, right?
"Success depends on your backbone, not your wishbone"

Mommy has Borderline Personality Disorder? She's very difficult to deal with? Buy this:

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Re: men get screwed on child support

Postby AndrewsDad » Tue May 24, 2011 10:09 am

necro much?
So, if you're frightened of dying and... and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.
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Re: men get screwed on child support

Postby blazinberry » Thu May 26, 2011 8:33 pm

I would suggest a couple of things. First of all I would make sure that you've formally filed for child support through you're county for your son. The reason being is because for a small fee they will assist you with many things: suspending her license until she pays, intercepting state and federal tax refunds, and in a few years when she gets a job with a real paycheck, they'll do income withholding. The other thing that I would review is to see if you can get your child support reduced with your daughter, but you may need to do that through petioning the court for increased < parenting time > first, and then getting your child support reduced that way. Another way could be if you can prove that there has been a change in circumstances with income, and you should be able to go to your counties website and punch in your income and your ex's income into a calculator to see what the support should be.
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