Women's Behavior and why they leave

[defaultuser]

Ok, so I was reading one of Bart's posts where he mentions Briffault's Law. It basically goes something like this:

1 - Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association.

2 - Any agreement where the male provides a current benefit in return for a promise of future association is null and void as soon as the male has provided the benefit (see corollary 1)

3 - A promise of future benefit has limited influence on current/future association, with the influence inversely proportionate to the length of time until the benefit will be given and directly proportionate to the degree to which the female trusts the male (which is not bloody likely).

While this provides some insight to women's behavior, I'd like to add a little bit.

First off, a woman's association pretty much means sex. I find it interesting that in some relationships, women use their body as an ATM machine. When something is important to them, the sex gets more frequent and invigorating. When the perceived benefits are less or have gone away, the sex slows down, gets less exciting, or stops.

When she was engaged, the potential benefits were high. BJ's were an every day occurrence, but after the marriage, the benefits have been realized. She gains legal ownership of income and assets. The BJ's stop, but sex continues, but when she wants that new car for herself or the cruise or whatever, the sex gets better.

When/if he loses his job, gets demoted, or she starts earning more money than him, the sex typically stops. Why? She's not receiving any benefits. Her net worth is dropping every day. Even if she isn't working, her half of the assets are dwindling. Its time to find a new man, or at least to stop giving her body away.

The other thing I find interesting is couples who not only stay together, but stay in love more or less. Why? She now has gained ownership and there are less benefits coming. I believe the reason is that there are more benefits than financial ones. Women are attracted to men with a high social value. If the man continues to provide this social standing, her perceived benefits are plentiful. She gains the value of his social standing, stays attracted to the guy, and the sex remains good. All the guy needs is some pretty good sex to stay in love (if she's not batshlt crazy), so the couple stays together. If however, her social value increases above his for some reason, she will lose interest quickly for the same reason as if she gets a higher paying job.

I also see couples where the guy has a high social value, they get together, but because the guy begins to focus on her needs, he loses social value. Instead of going out with friends, he stays home and watches Sex In the City with his new GF/Wife and he begins to lose his social value. He's becoming whipped because he mistakenly believes that doing everything her way will gain him favor when quite the opposite is true. He gets rewarded with either a termination of association, or less sex, and she also gets mean because she is subconsciously pushing him to display a high social value by standing up to her.

Even women who are not social are attracted to men with a high social value. It is built into them as much as we like a woman with nice titties and azz.

I believe that there is only one way to keep a good relationship with a woman. You've got to maintain your social value, or increase it throughout the relationship. This is something that no court can give her in the divorce, so it is a source of benefit that keeps the BJ's flowing.

How much with the divorce rate drop if each partner were able to keep everything they earned, assets in each persons name, and there was no child support or alimony?

How many guys here had wives stop giving sex, cheat, or initiate divorce when they either lost a job or their wife started making more than them, or the woman's perceived benefits slowed or stopped?

[Southern.Putter]

All the guy needs are some pretty good BJs on a regular basis in order for the couple to stay together.

There, you had a typo, but I fixed it for ya!

[jerico08]

Women, good looking ones especially have this mentality that once you no longer provide for them, they can throw you away for another.

Briffault was spot on, I learned a lot from reading his stuff. It filled in the "oh, thats why" questions I had about my nutjob.

[Fatheroffour]

"You're only as faithful as your options"- Chris Rock

[defaultuser]

Only for women. There are lots of guys who stick with their wife even when nicer looking women are available. Not all, but it seems a lot more so for men vs. women.

[Fatheroffour]

Looks are subjective and only one variable.

[defaultuser]

Much more than one variable.

Face

Body

Titties

Azz

Legs

There's 5 and I'm just getting started.

Feet? I'm not into feet. Are you?

[Fatheroffour]

I meant one variable of why people stay together but I'm not really into feet other than being an indicator of how the rest of the body is cared for. Crusty unmanicured jagged toenails don't bode well for what's higher up the leg.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

Yup. If women think that there's something to be had, they'll use their body to get it. One example that was mentioned in another thread is "don't leave me" sex. Let's say that you haven't gotten a BJ or good sex in months. What happens when NJ thinks that you're going to leave her? She breaks out the most amazing BJ that she's ever given you. Why? Why would she have put in that effort/energy to perform said BJ when she didn't have to?

Looks are subjective and only one variable.

Yup. In my case...I will compare this to what I'll call the "Shallow Hal" effect (refer to the movie). Early on...my stbx was very pleasant to be around, had a good attitude, took care of the kids, helped around the house, etc. That changed pretty quickly (see earlier references in this thread to post-wedding day behavior deterioration.

As my wife got more and more obnoxious, I literally started to see her differently. The person I once thought was attractive became a disgusting thing to me. I'm not just talking appearance either (though that played into it). When I get that disgusted with someone, it literally becomes difficult to look at them. Just my $.02... (I could run on and on about this)

[Trevor]

Yep. Last gf I had was beautiful and had a stunning body, but I don't miss her at all because crazy outranks sexy once things stop going well. I guess that comes with maturity and experience. When I first started dating after my divorce, my dating skills sucked so I tended to tolerate more rubbish from women, not being comfortable/happy with myself nor confident in knowing there are tons of women out there. This is why we advocate the "waiting period" of a year or so, after the final divorce, before entering a serious relationship.