Step-parent adoption

[Fatheroffour]

*narrows dating pool to widows w/kids*

Based on my husband's life expectancy as a litigator, I should be a well-to-do, under-40 widow with children in 5...4...3...

Awesome. Just let me know when his case load picks up so I can start making closet space for ya.

[Fatheroffour]

Holy cow. I found a JACKPOT.

Young Widow Bulletin Board

Minuette, may I suggest adding more bacon to the menu. It's really yummy.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

Holy cow. I found a JACKPOT.

Young Widow Bulletin Board

Minuette, may I suggest adding more bacon to the menu. It's really yummy.

My NJ started going to young widow support groups because, as she told me, "your leaving me and refusing to talk makes you dead to me." I think that she saw 'Fight Club' one too many times. I bet she already hooked one. She should have gone through the roof when she received my fault based filing. I have heard nothing but crickets.

[miamorefreckles]

Holy cow. I found a JACKPOT.

Young Widow Bulletin Board

Minuette, may I suggest adding more bacon to the menu. It's really yummy.

My NJ started going to young widow support groups because, as she told me, "your leaving me and refusing to talk makes you dead to me." I think that she saw 'Fight Club' one too many times. I bet she already hooked one. She should have gone through the roof when she received my fault based filing. I have heard nothing but crickets.

there is NO way that BS is true. people who have lost their spouse to death hate it when divorced people try to make it seem like death and divorce are the same. She'd have come home bruised at the very best.

[defaultuser]

Holy cow. I found a JACKPOT.

Young Widow Bulletin Board

Minuette, may I suggest adding more bacon to the menu. It's really yummy.

Looks like I'll be taking a break from this board for a few months to pursue other interests...

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

Holy cow. I found a JACKPOT.

Young Widow Bulletin Board

Minuette, may I suggest adding more bacon to the menu. It's really yummy.

My NJ started going to young widow support groups because, as she told me, "your leaving me and refusing to talk makes you dead to me." I think that she saw 'Fight Club' one too many times. I bet she already hooked one. She should have gone through the roof when she received my fault based filing. I have heard nothing but crickets.

there is NO way that BS is true. people who have lost their spouse to death hate it when divorced people try to make it seem like death and divorce are the same. She'd have come home bruised at the very best.

Nope. It's 100% true. Once I got passed the initial shock of hearing that and I thought about who she is as a person, it didn't surprise me one bit. One of her "friends" lost his wife years ago. He actually encouraged her to go to this group (for whatever reason). I had the same reaction that you did. I told her that it's pretty ******* nervy to compare running your spouse off to having a spouse die. For some reason, the people in that particular group don't seem to mind.

I say "friends," because this guy lived within 30 minutes of us and I never once met him (I met all of her other friends that lived within a couple hours). I didn't much care when we were dating and married, because I assumed that they had dated and that's how she chose to label him (you know...how women like to refer to guys they slept with as "friends"...when a guy would just say "we dated"). Her getting back in touch with him after my departure only adds more weight to that assumption.

[minuette]

Holy cow. I found a JACKPOT.

Young Widow Bulletin Board

Minuette, may I suggest adding more bacon to the menu. It's really yummy.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I wonder if they have a TrophyWidow clique on that forum? (certain net worth + certain age spread between wifey and the later mister + not terribly torn up about the whole young widowhood deal)

I don't think I could hang with the hardcore grieving group. It's an actuarial near-certainty that my husband will predecease me, so we've had the burial instructions squared away for a while. (cremate him, fly his brothers to Maui for a week of golf, pour his ashes into every sand trap.)

[Trevor]

I had a friend tell me the story of how her husband came clean about a short affair he had earllier in their marriage. Next day, he died.

She told me that in her case, there was finality to it, whereas in mine, the protracted custody fight and ugliness with my X went on and on. Her words, not mine.

[minuette]

She had no impediments to rationalizing her relationship with her late husband in order to gain closure. People who divorce amicably have the same impediment-free opportunity.

I'm not going to subscribe to the notion that the death of a person is as equally devastating as the death of a relationship, but there is certainly a grieving component to both, and the two situations above allow one to go through the process of grief.

Those who are still in the middle of a divorce or custody battle don't really get that opportunity to grieve and gain closure, unless they are very good at compartmentalizing their emotions.

What I find disingenuous about participating on a board for widows/widowers, when one has divorced, is that the board will probably never touch upon some important facets of the former relationship than the divorced person should spend time considering: mate selection and ownership of contributory faults. The typical widow or widower on a board like than probably didn't help kill their spouse (bacon notwithstanding!). The divorced person may have made some active choices, either in poor mate selection or marital behavior or both, that should be addressed before moving on to another relationship.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

She had no impediments to rationalizing her relationship with her late husband in order to gain closure. People who divorce amicably have the same impediment-free opportunity.

I'm not going to subscribe to the notion that the death of a person is as equally devastating as the death of a relationship, but there is certainly a grieving component to both, and the two situations above allow one to go through the process of grief.

Those who are still in the middle of a divorce or custody battle don't really get that opportunity to grieve and gain closure, unless they are very good at compartmentalizing their emotions.

What I find disingenuous about participating on a board for widows/widowers, when one has divorced, is that the board will probably never touch upon some important facets of the former relationship than the divorced person should spend time considering: mate selection and ownership of contributory faults. The typical widow or widower on a board like than probably didn't help kill their spouse (bacon notwithstanding!). The divorced person may have made some active choices, either in poor mate selection or marital behavior or both, that should be addressed before moving on to another relationship.

Yes, but that (correct) line of reasoning wouldn't permit her to sob into her beer about how she was wronged, put her all into the relationship, and is in no way, shape, or form responsible for the failed interpersonal relationships in her life.