Mother's Day

[SmokinMeanRibz]

I would never personally give anything to my ex for mother's day. If we were married and I loved her, then I would get her a gift on her day.

However, my daughter loves the woman but she is young and has no ability to go out to the store and purchase a card by herself.

Do you guys do anything for mother's day? I am considering just going and getting a little $3 card and letting my D3 scribble in it and give it to her mom. It wont be from me, it will be from D3.

Do you guys do anything like that?

[dobradavid]

It's situational dependent.

When my stbx has been somewhat rational - I will help the kids get her something.

When she is indulging in being a NJ - no.

I would never personally give anything to my ex for mother's day. If we were married and I loved her, then I would get her a gift on her day.

However, my daughter loves the woman but she is young and has no ability to go out to the store and purchase a card by herself.

Do you guys do anything for mother's day? I am considering just going and getting a little $3 card and letting my D3 scribble in it and give it to her mom. It wont be from me, it will be from D3.

Do you guys do anything like that?

[SmokinMeanRibz]

I think it should be cut and dry. I don't know if I agree with you. That would kind of be like using your kid to punish your NJ...

I know that NJs receive mother's day gifts from other sources such as from the school or even maternal grandparents etc. but I think it should be she either gets something every year or never.

So I am trying to decide if I help D3 with moms day gifts from now on or never.

[Fatheroffour]

Would you like your ex to help your child with Fathers Day?

[jumbledone]

I am wondering the same thing.

If I pulled an NJ, it would be nothing. But that doesn't seem right.

For her birthday, kids 'bought' stuff for her, and I had them make home-made cards for her. For my birthday, I got a cheap present from her, nothing from the kiddos, not even a card.

I think they should honor their mother, but RL friends have been telling me to forget about it, she doesn't deserve it since it won't be reciprocated. But the point is not that it isn't reciprocated, it's that the kids should focus on Mom on that day, and at their ages (10 and 6) they need a prompt from someone (me).

Would you like your ex to help your child with Fathers Day?

I would, but don't expect it. It goes to furthering the relationship of the child with the other parent.

[Fatheroffour]

Agreed.

You helping kiddo on Mothers Day is about you and kiddo, not mom.

Her not helping kiddo on Fathers Day is about her and kiddo, not about dad.

[SmokinMeanRibz]

Last year in the middle of our seperation and divorce, I received a card and a little craft that D3 had made. I know it was from NJ.

I am pretty sure that I would get the same thing this year on Father's day regardless of whether or not I help D3 out with a gift.

I just want to start now and keep it consistent with whatever I do. As someone said, its not about me. It is about D3 and her mother on mother's day. I more or less wanted to know what you guys do. I'm thinking nothing fancy. Perhaps it can even be something special D3 and I get to do every year. D3 has never and hopefully will never hear or see NJ and I fight. I never say anything negative about NJ around D3. I think in a way this is respectful. If I help D3 every year with a simple, small but sentimental Moms day card, she might look back on it and respect me for it one day.

The only reason I wouldn't do this with D3 is if it will in any way negatively impact D3. Can you guys see any reason as to why it would negatively impact a kid to help them with mother's day gifts?

[jumbledone]

Overthinking this by a mile, then, ribz.

Get out the construction paper, crayons, markers, glitter, whatever, and let your little one go to town. I didn't help my kids much at that age. Let her do all of the work, and then maybe you can help her sign the card (give her the letters so she knows how).

There is nothing that will happen negatively for/to her to create a card for Mom this weekend.

[SmokinMeanRibz]

Yea I do that sometimes. Thanks for the ideas.

[massdaddio]

I would let your daughter make a card for her mom. If you want to get a gift also, I would get a cheap picture frame and put in a cute picture of your daughter.