Meeting with NJ yesterday

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Meeting with NJ yesterday

Postby SmokinMeanRibz » Wed Nov 02, 2011 6:24 am

STBX does not know that I know that she is about 18 weeks pregnant. Since I only see her about once a week, she tries to conceal it by wearing big bath robes and other loose clothing. Well, her pregnancy is beginning to become obvious, but she'd still like to think that I am completely in the dark.

As I was dropping D2 back off to NJ last night, I took a look at her...paused...looked a little puzzled...turned my head to the said and said, "You look kinda.......wide......what you been eatin?"

I knew I could say that and she wouldn't take it as rude because she knows that she is pregnant and women gain weight when they get pregnant. So she just kinda awkwardly laughed it off and left the room and went to speak to her mother. The conversation probably went something like this: "He just called me wide. Do you think he knows anything?"

Also, I have been taking everyone's advice on how to let her pregnancy play out in my divorce. It has motivated me to do exactly opposite of what she wants me to do and that is to slow down, take my time, and make sure that everything is spelled out correctly and fairly. Yesterday, I gathered all of my bank statements and check images and I have proven that I have exceeded what I would have paid in daycare/CS for the year that we've been seperated. I was so eager to get it over with that I almost signed a MSA that had me paying a $1400 arrearage.
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Re: Meeting with NJ yesterday

Postby Fatheroffour » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:21 am

STBX does not know that I know that she is about 18 weeks pregnant.


Keep making comments and that will change, if it already hasn't.
Everyone lies.
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Re: Meeting with NJ yesterday

Postby SmokinMeanRibz » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:33 am

shes about 2 weeks from it being comletely obvious anyway...so why not squeeze in a little jab?
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Re: Meeting with NJ yesterday

Postby jerico08 » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:43 am

As harmless as your comments may be, I wouldn't say anything at all if I didnt have to to her.

But, if you absolutely feel the need to say something, do it through third party by saying something like "my someone sure has a glow about them don't they?" and leave it at that so she has no where to go with it because it is general and not directed towards her (even though it is).
"There is a difference between a wedding and a marriage".
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Re: Meeting with NJ yesterday

Postby SmokinMeanRibz » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:49 am

Yea, I couldn't resist. But since I got it out of my system, its probably for the best to avoid the topic until she brings it up. I'll still act surprised and say congrats.
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Re: Meeting with NJ yesterday

Postby Anything4Her » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:55 am

SmokinMeanRibz wrote:...so why not squeeze in a little jab


Don't play those kinds of games, though I understand the urge. Focus on getting the step up plan on custody and act totally oblivious to the pregnancy, no matter how obvious it becomes.
You are dealing with your kid's future here, stay focused on what is important. I know 2-5 years away seems like a lifetime right now, but it is much easier to get this established now than trying to go back for a modification later.

The only reference you should make to her self imposed time limits is when she refuses to bend and negotiate on the custody piece. "If we can't agree on this, it's just going to drag out much longer and we'll be in court in several months." You want to give her the mental picture of her being about to download another guy's baby while in front of the judge, without ever refering to it in any way.

-A4H
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Re: Meeting with NJ yesterday

Postby jerico08 » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:57 am

I hear ya on the temptation part, but when your dealing with a nut job, they always look for something to say you were "harassing" them with and she will either make something up or blow it out of proportion so learn to say nothing.

Just be glad it's not yours!!
"There is a difference between a wedding and a marriage".
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