Rules, red flags, lessons and more.

[Fatheroffour]

Inspired by southern putters Big Red Flag find I thought it would make an interesting thread to comment on things you learned from earlier relationships that you intend on applying during future ones , rules you try to keep for yourself or what, looking back, were giant red flags that you somehow either missed or ignored.


I learned a lot from my first wife that stayed with me.

I learned don't marry a woman that is always in conflict with her 'friends'.
I learned don't marry a woman that can't hold her liquor........but think she can.
I learned dont marry a woman that will physically attack you.
I learned dont marry a woman that is known by every cop in your midsized suburban city.
I learned don't marry a woman that will stand in the bed of your truck and try to break the back window out with your favorite putter while you're doing donuts in the parking lot trying to throw her out.
I learned dont marry a woman that will throw a loaded firearm at you.
I learned don't marry a woman that will discard her starting business to become a stripper because she sees your buddys GF bringing home big bucks working a couple of nights a week.

All these rules I've kept for the last 20 years.

[BartSimpson]

Simple -

I learned just don't marry.

[Fatheroffour]

Quitter.

[mcc333]

Wait a minute, FofF. You married her after after she did all this?

[defaultuser]

I've learned:

- Don't get involved with a woman who drinks 8 days a week (post divorce), unless you're just having a good time. Quality women generally don't drink much but don't mind if you do.

- Don't get married to someone with a bat-sh*t crazy mother.

-Don't get hook up with someone who finds you on myspace and is into fisting

-Don't give your real phone number or address to anyone you meet online and is into fisting. Certainly don't have them over for the night and expect to not see them again, because they will be back at a really bad time...

On a more serious note, I've learned about women and how to read them. I can spot a borderline personality or a bi-polar, or a narcissistic chick a mile away. The problem is that the ones that have their head screwed on straight don't really want to hang out with a single dad who spends all his time with his kids and all his money on lawyers dealing with a NJ.

[mcc333]

The problem is that the ones that have their head screwed on straight don't really want to hang out with a single dad who spends all his time with his kids and all his money on lawyers dealing with a NJ.

Amen to that.

[Fatheroffour]

Wait a minute, FofF. You married her after after she did all this?

No. Not all. Those were just a few lessons I brought out of my first marriage.

[BartSimpson]

Lessons learned during marriage - ah, that I can share - Big Red Flags I would teach my younger brothers:

1. She wants to entertain you in private immediately upon meeting.
2. She identifies as a survivor of child-molestation or date-rape experience.
3. She states her mother is her best friend and that they share everything.
4. She expects dating to include participating in all of her family's activities.
5. She does not speak with a primary relative; grandparent, sibling or parent.
6. She justifies as normal her hitting you or throwing things in angry moments.
7. She uses the silent treatment; withholding affection for any perceived slights.
8. She says your reaction to her bad behavior is worse than the bad behavior.

[Fatheroffour]

Bingo, bingo, bingo, bingo, bingo, bingo, bingo, bingo.

We should start a grassroots effort to start writing this stuff on the men's bathroom walls. It's so much more informative than the stuff I was reading as a child. We could save some lives.

[Thoughts?]

Amazing how many of these my ex failed.