Rules, red flags, lessons and more.

[i_won_sorta]

Lessons learned during marriage - ah, that I can share - Big Red Flags I would teach my younger brothers:

1. She wants to entertain you in private immediately upon meeting. check
2. She identifies as a survivor of child-molestation or date-rape experience. check
3. She states her mother is her best friend and that they share everything.check
4. She expects dating to include participating in all of her family's activities.check
(but only when she's not fighting with them)
5. She does not speak with a primary relative; grandparent, sibling or parent. check
6. She justifies as normal her hitting you or throwing things in angry moments. check
7. She uses the silent treatment; withholding affection for any perceived slights. check
8. She says your reaction to her bad behavior is worse than the bad behavior. check

it's like several of us married into the same family!! oh, i'd also have to say get real good at identifying the ones with 'daddy' issues. also if it seems like they need 'saving', they probably aren't worth having.

[AlmostSingle]

And too build on Almost's post, I could care less if they are working a minimum wage job so long as they have goals and ambition.....although I would have to admit they wouldn't be as desirable as somebody that has a decent paying job. Anyways where I am going at, is I've known people that work a min. wage job that shouldn't have a pot to pi-s in nor a window to thru it out of however they had more than somebody that had a very good paying job....plus they were content or finished with where they wanted to be in the plans for life. Just saying is all.

I agree, and have known people like that. But the above didn't apply to my NJ.

[formylilgirl]

I would add if in the middle of that immediate private entertainment she stops abruptly, answers her phone from a call by her recent ex boyfriend, hangs up then proceeds to entertain again(coldly, robotically), you've got yourself a giant < edited > red flag

[Fatheroffour]

Guy's sitting in his very new GF's townhome, across the cul-de-sac from his own, watching TV with the new GF when there is a knock on the door. It's the old BF and he isn't happy.

New GF walks outside to talk to Old BF and it gets heated and Old BF starts slapping her around. New BF comes to the rescue and a fight develops. The fight eventually grows to include neighbors, ax handles, broken bones, a cracked skull and the old BF taking off in his car.

The police show up and arrest new boyfriend.

Boyfriend gets out of jail the next morning and upon arriving home sees the old BF leaving the house of the , now, skank that lives across the street.


Lesson, don't get involved in domestic disputes.

But, DAMN, she was hot.

[formylilgirl]

Lesson, don't get involved in domestic disputes.
But, DAMN, she was hot.

damn dude, sorry to hear that. hit it and quit it. quick!

[Fatheroffour]

Way back in the day I didn’t have a clue what BPD was even though I had been married to one for years, much less the term ‘hoovering’, if it had even been coined by then . Hoovering isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It bought me a house.

I married my first wife right out of high school. No kids, lots of disposable income and we lived a pretty wild life until things broke down so far that we got a divorce. She remarried pretty soon thereafter and had a kid and I went on with the wild single life and never gave a thought to looking back. I was happy being single, plenty of disposable income and a party to go to every night when the weirdest coincidence/ supernatural event or whatever you want to call it happened to me.

I woke up one morning, stumbled into the living room and told my roommate and friend about the weird dream I had just woke up from. “ Effing weird, dude. I just had a dream that me and first wife were back together. I haven’t even thought about that biatch in years. Crazy.”

One week later I get a phone call.

Yep.

Apparently her husband had just tragically died (A whole story in itself) , around the time of the dream ,and left her a large amount of insurance money. Her intro back to me was that she knew that I had always been good with money and she had no idea what she should do with such a large amount. Put it in the bank? Buy stocks? She wanted my help.

Within a week I’m spending the nights over at her house and within 3 months she had bought me a new ZX-7 and we were house shopping. She put down the down payment on the house and we lived there about 4 months before she started being a biatch again, we started back to arguing and I told her to get out. She didn’t seem to think that was fair but I made it clear I wasn’t going anywhere, my name was on the title and mortgage and she could take her kid and GTFO before the party started, which she did.

After some negotiations, she showed up about two weeks later with some dude to move out about half of the new furnishings we (she) had purchased and sign a quit claim to the house. She stayed on that mortgage for 8 years until I finally sold that house.

Lesson, if you’re going to get hoovered, make it work for you.

[Fatheroffour]

Lesson, don't get involved in domestic disputes.
But, DAMN, she was hot.

damn dude, sorry to hear that. hit it and quit it. quick!

Dated her about 2 months and it took another year to get all the court appearances taken car of.

Trouble- easy to get into. Not so much to get out of.

[formylilgirl]

All Hail FOF - you have lived like four lives man, that some crazy stuff! love it when they buy you stuff, especially mazdas..

[AlmostSingle]

All Hail FOF - you have lived like four lives man, that some crazy stuff! love it when they buy you stuff, especially mazdas..

RX-7 is Mazda. I think he was talking about a Kawasaki.

I agree....All Hail FOF!!

[Fatheroffour]

Kawasaki, right.

Looked just like this.

I had bought a new green one the year before and totaled it in about 6 months. She asked me what I wanted and I took her to the dealership.