Need advice after non contested divorce

[motodad86]

It has been about 5 months since my divorce was made final. I got, what I feel is, some bad advice from several lawyers. We agreed on joint custody with her as primary, I get him 40% and her 60% of the year. I should have went to court and fought for 50/50 but each lawyer I talked to said this was a good deal....I am also paying 450 a month in child support. My son does go to daycare which costs 385 a month however I live in south Alabama so the cost of living is lower here than most places. I bring home about 270 bucks a week after tax and CS. work is a 50 mile commute to and from. I'm having to live with my parents because I can't afford to move out. And I want my son half the time. I can't even talk to her without her telling me in some way home I am a worthless father. She refuses to work with me or cooperate on anything, such as changing a day because the schedule is jacked up and just doesnt really work for me. I'm a little short on time but just wanted to get the initial post out there. What can I do? I'm unhappy living with my parents. And I'm tired of being treated like some drunk rapist abuser.

[defaultuser]

I think you aren't as bad off as you think. Here is what I think you should do:

1. Stop talking to your X. You've divorced her, so that gives you the right not to speak to her anymore. Learn the art of radio silence. Everything is in writing and don't talk to her unless you have to.

2. Read up on your states child support laws because it appears that you're paying too much based on what you put down. Once you figure out your state law on how they calculate child support, come back here for how to get it fixed. Do you pay for all his daycare, or is 385 your portion?

3. I would not waste your time trying to get 50/50 right now, but you should create a plan to maximize the time you spend with your kid. How old is your kid?

4. Figure out how much you need to make to get your own place and be able to live ok. Then go find that job or ask the boss for a raise. Sounds like you're making $14/hr or so. Can you make more?

[motodad86]

1. Communication with my ex has been halted for months other than anything to do with my son, except for that I recently asked her to work with me on the schedule and she wouldn't give me any extra time with my son(she says she wishes I was an every other weekend dad), she also said she couldn't do anything about the child support.

2. DHR would have had me paying about 550 a month despite how much I keep him. It seems around here a judge goes by that calculator but makes adjustments depending on cost of living and the amount of time the paying parent spends with the child. I currently pay 450 a month and no more. I was mentioning that his daycare costs for her are 385.

3. I do not believe she will budge on the schedule as it is now I have him tue, wed, thur night one week the next week thur, fri, sat night until sunday at 4. The exchange during the week is my parents drop him off at school(im already at work) she picks him up. My son is 3.

4. I'm working on a raise right now will hopefully be moving to a welding position within the week bumping me up to 13 an hour. I really need to make about a dollar an hour more to live on my own paying that much.


Thanks for the response.