sociopath ex wives

[higherroad]

a good read for anyone in a divorce situation with a diagnosed sociopath.

they will stop at nothing. completely draining.

http://www.lovefraud.com/12_leavingAsoc ... opath.html

hope it helps.

[grgr]

From what I read in the link you provided a sociopath and a psychopath are the same thing.

I am reading a book right now "Almost a Psychopath" written by an associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and he's also the director of the Law & Psychiatry Service at Massachusetts Gerneral Hospital.

You might find this book to be very interesting. An "almost psychopath" can be charming, maipulative, lie, cheat, and they have no empathy or remorse for their actions. One of the main differences between a psychopath and almost psychopath is that they often stay just this side of criminal behavior.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

Whether diagnosed or undiagnosed...I would imagine that many people here could go right down this list and see many symptoms. The big one for my NJ is the last one. She simply cannot get along at work and is always blaming everyone else for it.

It is characterized by at least 3 of the following:

Callous unconcern for the feelings of others.
Gross and persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules, and obligations.
Incapacity to maintain enduring relationships, though having no difficulty in establishing them.
Very low tolerance to frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression, including violence.
Incapacity to experience guilt or to profit from experience, particularly punishment.
Markedly prone to blame others or to offer plausible rationalizations for the behavior that has brought the person into conflict with society.

[higherroad]

interesting.

they say that 1-4% of population is sociopath/psychopath. i wonder what the threshold is how its determined.

[jerico08]

I lived it:

Emotional devastation—everything you believed was a lie- True

First of all, understand that you're not a fool, you were targeted. Sociopaths are expert manipulators. They spend their whole lives perfecting their acts. True

Finally, give yourself time and distance. The fastest way to heal is to have No Contact with the sociopath. Away from the predator's influence, the reality of the deceptions will become clear. Even so, you will have to do a lot of emotional processing and grieving. Be patient with yourself. True

For any normal, warm-hearted person, it's difficult to believe that sociopaths actually exist. How can a person be so cruel? So empty? So evil? Oh Yeah, big time

Furthermore, the predator appears to be normal. He or she is living in your community, working at your company, or going to your church. It's enough to make you lose your faith in humanity. In fact, many victims say they will never trust again.
True, still dealing with this one

[higherroad]

I have avoided her at all costs. It's the devastation and manipulation of kids to undermine my relationship with them that is brutal.

[jerico08]

I used to blame myself and think it was all my doing. It took one good therapist to stand up right in my face and say very sternly and loudly "listen to me one time- IT'S NOT YOU"

After that I got it, but it's still hard to believe I was so gulible.

It's a dangerous dark web they cast over you, and your kids. The hardest part is watching how they lure new suckers in and you're pretty helpless to stop it from happening. They go through this cycle over and over and over. If you say something to a victim to thwart it, in my experience they usually think your just a angry spiteful person, sometimes siding more with the Sociopath. But after those same people got burned, however long or short a period of time afterwards, you get the "oh, wow you were so right, how could I have been so stupid" line.

[higherroad]

jerico

how true. husband #2 blamed me for everything. when she belted him and he had her taken away by cops he called me for help.

soon to be husband #3 came over at the beginning of their relationship to drop off something for the kids. a tactic she uses to lure them in. i told him, "i'll tell you the same thing i told her last husband, be good to the kids and if you want to go out for a beer thats fine".

he never took me up on it. but husband #2 came to me right after and said, "damn i wish i would have taken you up on that beer."

it eventually will happen with husband #3 but getting there is such a battle as she is totally empowered especially with his money.

i remember ex used to take husband #2 to the kids therapist and he would mouth what she said. he even went into the interviews with gal.

if grown men get swooped in, imagine what its like for the kids.

[higherroad]

you just nailed it on the head. you will bang your head up against a wall with the courts about how messed up she is because of your actions.

and unfortunately for those who are not familiar with sociopaths and my ex, you will hear it from others on how you are to blame.

its a nightmare.

[Mark Aylward]

I had one (have one) and they don't go away unless they slip up and get jail time or they die.

You were targeted like the other guy said, because you're probably a nice guy and she saw you a mile away (me too!). It's definitely NOT you so don't sweat that

Regarding the kids, I have three and they have finally all made the decision to leave her. I fought and fought and lost everything, but I stayed with my kids, listened and went to every event, met every teacher coach, etc.. They are all great and well adjusted.

Crackie can do whatever she wants...the kids will figure it out and be fine if you just stay with them. Discipline them and don't let them use the situation as a crutch or excuse (it's not fair...).
Don't bad mouth her to them and resist agreeing with them when they tell you she's crazy. "I'm not sure why that's happening", "Daddy can't figure that one out either honey"...

It's not a fight in the eyes of the kids if you don't play

Keep your I-phone on video mode and tape anything, keep records, e-mails, texts and stay organized and you might speed things up a little if you get lucky and she slips up

It's heartbreaking to watch and the system is as dysfunctional as Congress, but they'll be OK

Good luck man!
Mark