tutoring?

[vtpenguin]

Ex has full legal rights and responsibilities, we have shared physical. It's been a horror show since July 2010. Most recently my Ex succeeded in having a modification made to the parent child contact for both the summer and school time schedules. I went from 10 days a month, during the school year (a mix of weekend days and week days) to 3 weekends a month (9 days per 28 days).

I am penniless and she appears to have bottomless pockets. I have no lawyer, and can't afford one. Her lawyer wrote this up after the hearing with the judge. It was completely wrong! It was not at all what the judge said, and despite my filed objection pointing out all the errors, few were fixed. He did try stiff me out of one weekend by putting "alternating" weekends when I was to receive all the weekends (fr, sat, sun) except for the first full weekend. He also put in a lot of other stuff, one was about both parents taking the children to scheduled appointments. (can't recall the exact wording, I'll look it up tonight when home). Any way, today, I get an email that the ex is sending one child to tutoring, and that she wants me to pay for 1/2 (its 300 a month) I explain I support my child, and want him to be successful, but I can't afford it, nor do I feel it is necessary for the remaining weeks leading to school starting. I also mention that both the previous teacher and the school principal advised against tutoring as his issues are more about the ability to learn in the classroom setting, which can't be recreated with tutoring. She writes back, all disappointed and says "You will have to bring him on your days from 8am to 9am". (no asking, no attempt to work it out with me, just orders me)

I live and work an hour from home, so this represents a 2 hour drive for the one hour of tutoring. I could not hope to get to work before 10:30am after dropping him off to child care.

So, the bottom line, can she require me to take him to tutoring on my days?

(By the way, my child is 6 and is repeating kindergarten its not like 8th grade or anything like that)

[Fatheroffour]

If your child is repeating kindergarten and she has the majority of parenting time with the child, I would say there is hay to be made out of that.

How does a child fail kindergarten?

[vtpenguin]

yeah... apparently it happens, He was on the extremely young side for kindergarten to begin with.

The divorce has destroyed the children, one child has ADHD, anxiety and weight issues (eats to cope, refuses to exercise and NJ doesn't make him, lets him play video games all day, and watch tv. The younger, one repeating K, is stuck in his 3's like he missed growing up a little while his parents were busy with divorce. (Father was trying to defend his time, mother was busy trying to make him pay)

Their mother has hurt them more than she will ever know, they cry at least once per visit with me, if not more. They miss the old house, they miss their old family, they don't understand. They don't understand "why this happened". I can't even tell them, becuase i don't understand and don't believe she does either. all my research as lead me to conclude that she is mentally ill.

[vtpenguin]

the response after explaining that a) I can't afford it, b) don't feel it is necessary and c) don't appreciate her scheduleing these at times the children are in my care and I am supposed to be at work!

"Your financial situation is your own responsiblity.Yes I had planned, and set money aside in my budget for tutoring after we spoke about it with Mr Marshall, I thought it would be nice if you also contributed, if you can't or choose not to, that does not mean that Ben shouldn't recieve the aid he needs.

Please don't speak for the court. I don't understand why anyone would argue so much about taking thier child to a doctors appointment or tutoring delaying the help that the child needs. It's only twice that you would even need to do this. "

Any advice?