I need help...

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I need help...

Postby At-My-Wit's-End » Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:40 pm

Ok, so I'll not bore you all with the same topics that others have started...

I need a therapist. Anybody out there in the Dallas area got any recommendations?

Thanks.
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Re: I need help...

Postby Fatheroffour » Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:11 pm

There is a wide spectrum of therapist treating an even wider spectrum of disorders needing therapy. Maybe a nudge on what kind of therapy you think you need might help someone in the neighborhood better make a recommendation.

For instance, Lucy Lin is a stunning asian american brunette in the Dallas are that does some great therapy. I'll send you the link if you want.
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Re: I need help...

Postby At-My-Wit's-End » Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:35 pm

Quite simply, I can't get past it...

She's gone 18 months, she's now sleeping with her boss, I know deep down that she never really loved me, and it still hurts, every single day.

I need that to go away.
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Re: I need help...

Postby Fatheroffour » Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:43 pm

I'm kinda curious as to what you think a therapist might be able to do for you. I'm not suggesting you not go to one or that one couldn't help you but I'm curious none-the-less. Offer you a different way of looking at things? Mental exercises to help you see reality? Weekly pep talks? Dream therapy? Rebooting your id?
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Re: I need help...

Postby At-My-Wit's-End » Sat Jun 30, 2012 8:01 pm

I really dunno, mate. I just know that nothing's worked in 18 months, and I can't spend the rest of my life on the verge of tears for days after seeing her...
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Re: I need help...

Postby Fatheroffour » Sat Jun 30, 2012 8:24 pm

A broken heart is a pitiful thing to watch.

Have to tried listening to The Bee Gees over and over?

Theres lots of advice on the web on getting over a broken heart. Much of it generally agrees. Time, distance (emotional since kiddo is involved) , learning about yourself and expanding your own boundaries are the best medicine. In the 18 months since your divorce, have you achieved any personal accomplishments? If not, do it. Find something you want to do and take the time to do it. Not go see a movie or get laid, though there is nothing wrong with either one of those but something you really want to do that takes some time and effort. Learn to SCUBA, earn a martial arts belt, climb a mountian, earn a degree, hunt an elk or catch a marlin. Something strictly for you.

Best of luck to you.
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Re: I need help...

Postby Trevor » Sat Jun 30, 2012 9:41 pm

Agree 100% with Fo4. The root of a lot of self-esteem issues are the lack of accomplishment. Please tell us the things you've tried, and some things you want to accomplish, aside from forgetting that the girl you used to love is screwing her boss instead of you (which really ought to be enough to switch off your spigot of emotion).

Retool yourself, get some projects done, go out and do something that you like (i.e., don't make your home a dungeon)...
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Re: I need help...

Postby tom kirkpatrick » Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:48 am

Join AA. This is no joke!! What you've described is "living life on life's terms." And, it sucks!!

There's a lotta healing that goes on @ AA that a therapist can't touch. For example, you'll find that you're not alone. In fact, you'll find that there's others that are much worse off than you. Moreover, you're allowed to speak your mind and no one will use it against you. At AA, every heart-breaking topic known to humanity is open for discussion.

Try it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Tom
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Re: I need help...

Postby BartSimpson » Sun Jul 01, 2012 3:38 pm

tom kirkpatrick wrote:Join AA. This is no joke!! What you've described is "living life on life's terms." And, it sucks!!

There's a lotta healing that goes on @ AA that a therapist can't touch. For example, you'll find that you're not alone. In fact, you'll find that there's others that are much worse off than you. Moreover, you're allowed to speak your mind and no one will use it against you. At AA, every heart-breaking topic known to humanity is open for discussion.

Try it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Tom


I'll strongly disagree with this advice. AA is a religious-like cult that does more harm than good. Regarding it's primary purpose, fewer get sober in AA than those who simply quit drinking on their own. And just try speaking your mind about anything other than the 12 Step Program, such as the scientific methods to control the compulsion of drinking, and you will be run out of the room. AA is no different than any other religion, you must subscribe to its tenets to participate - you must believe in a mythical disease that can only be cured by divine intervention.

Sending a man to AA because he can't get over his ex-wife's lies and distortions is really bad advice, Tom.

I trust we are clear on this.
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Re: I need help...

Postby Fatheroffour » Mon Jul 02, 2012 9:53 am

Fatheroffour wrote: In the 18 months since your divorce, have you achieved any personal accomplishments?



Well?

Have you?

That is your path to "getting over it."
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