Refinancing the house

[dontquit]

So, I'm doing very well after my divorce. Life is so much better since nj isn't in it...directly.
However...a big thank you....(fill in with a four letter word starting with "f") goes to the state of Iowa for keeping that nj so involved in my finances.
First...permanent alimony (Are you kidding me?? Married 16 years...she has a nursing degree and was an ICU nurse...eh..go figure)

Second...They required me to send her a paper to sign stating that I keep up with my child support. Are you nuts? You deduct the money directly from my check and send it to the state to document...yet you ask my ex to sign a piece of paper stating the obvious??

Of course...she didn't sign it. Now, I have a court date set...so that we can discuss the child support and calculations...and get them to sign off so I can refinance...to the tune of an extra $1000 or so.

I applied for refinance April 2nd...3 mos..and still no movement...go figure!

[crazybama2012]

I feel for ya "dontquit" alimony is the big killer. I'm 37, wife is 40, I was married 14 years, the last 2, I was unofficially separated so it counts and yes, married 14 years and I have to pay alimony for 20, 30+ or however long I live? That don't make sense to me, but at least I can say my x only worked maybe 2, 2.5 years of our marriage, but nontheless has a masters degree, inherited a good chunk of change a year after we were "separated" because her father died and I was told that I'm not entitled to any of that b/c it was not co-mingled finances, and I was also told the court does not consider that "Income" so it did not change how I pay alimony or child support.

Those are the bad parts, I got a lot, A LOT of good out of it. I say I only lost the financial battle, but with kids, there are a lot of other very, very important things that I won.

Just hang in there, it'll get better!

Just remember, when you retire, you can go to court and tell the judge that you cannot retire if you still have to pay alimony. Do you have kids? I'm betting she won't contribute one penny to college when it comes time to pay...go to court, "I can't pay my child's college with this alimony..." It'll go away eventually, she may get married too. You never know.

[walklikeaman]

married 8 years, am 33, paying lifetime maintenance. NJ makes what we made as a married couple. crazy no?

[Bubba Seal]

Man that sucks guys, I dont understand how that happens, I was married for 23 yrs and no alimony.

[dontquit]

I wish they would repeal the permanent alimony for all dads across the board! Indentured servants we are!