NJ threatens she will never let me have my son again

[Dad1st&4ever]

Hi everyone. Some of you might remember me. I have the N-ist of NJ's! I had to fight her for two years to get back normal parenting time with my kids (now it's court ordered, thank God). She has always accused me of abusing my son when he was an infant. Of course, this is not true. Long story short, I had this big vacation planned with all my kids after I won time with them, and my son didn't get to go because he had a mental breakdown. He is 6, by the way. He hit his mother and tried to suffocate himself by shoving tissue down his throat. Just got back from our vacation, and he didn't get to go because he was at a psychiatric facility for about 10 days. He has since been released. Now NJ is trying everything she can to get someone to step in and get a protective order against me. She has been going to CPS, calling judges, etc. I haven't been contacted by anyone yet; I know this because she posts things online and thinks I have no idea. I don't know that I would ever be contacted by them, as I did nothing and she has no real info against me to provide. I wasn't going to go on the trip, but NJ insisted that DD couldn't go without me and she really wanted to go so I had to be there, too. NJ is posting online that she will never turn over my son to me again, and is talking about making her new husband look for work in the UK where he is from. I am not afraid to fight, but I am terrified that I'm going to have to call the cops to get my son back for the rest of our summer < parenting time >, and worse, that the cops, like a lot of cops I've read about, will say that they can't really do anything about it.

NJ seriously needs a psych eval done. I am going to have to pull out the big guns and sue again, I'm afraid; I am not going to have my kids taken away from me. Not any of them, not again. My son has these rage freak-outs whether at his home or mine. I have done nothing to him, and I never will! I don't understand why NJ won't stop this. Please help!

[defaultuser]

First thing you need to realize is that you can't expect the NJ to do anything useful toward your kids. She will do whatever she will and will damn your kids in the process. It sucks but its true.

Second think to realize is that the cops won't enforce custody decrees. You should still call them to document her refusal to obey court orders, but don't expect them to make it rain.

Your assessment that you'll have to take her back to court is right on the money. If she keeps it up, your kids will probably end up getting the help they need and have you as the parent most of the time. Don't stop fighting.

[Dad1st&4ever]

I am brainstorming how on earth to come up with the money for what's coming. But I know it's coming. I don't feel like NJ has a leg to stand on, but I can't help feeling scared of what all my kids are going to have to go through. I will take any jobs I can as long as it doesn't interfere with my time with them. Glad my wife is on board. She has been staying home with our little one but she's wanting to go to work to raise some cash. We have plenty of other bills to get rid of, too, so it might as well be now. I should have expected this from NJ but she somehow manages to keep surprising me.

Anyone do anything crazy to raise court cash?? I would really appreciate the ideas.

[defaultuser]

Somehow, it seems that family court is a contest of how much money you can spend on an attorney. If you give up everything for your kids, it usually works out.

Hopefully, you will find a way to pay for an attorney.

[Fatheroffour]

Hopefully, you will stick her with the fees for creating this mess in the first place.

[Chosen2Dad]

Hopefully, you will stick her with the fees for creating this mess in the first place.

+1

[Dad1st&4ever]

That would be great, but I'm not counting on it.

[BartSimpson]

I'm making a note here that if you are basing your strategy on information obtain by monitoring her Facebook, you are not going to have a good result.

When you get your information by spying, you place too much weight in that information, because of the risk you took to obtain it. Facebook isn't reality, and what is written isn't the truth.

Just because NJ posted she's going to withhold the child, she's calling CPS, Judges and making her new husband look for work in another country, doesn't mean you have to go down that rabbit hole, looking at it as the only source of truth. Likely 90% is BS.

I am saddened that your son is so troubled. Your energy could be better spent investigating his difficulties and seeking solutions - it is unlikely environmental - than reponding to your NJ's ranting graffiti on the public restroom wall.

[Dad1st&4ever]

It's a forum for Stepparents (she is one now, kid hates her, and POOR KID). Knowing what she's up to has saved me time and trouble numerous times, and by that I mean knowing what she's doing. If she says she is calling CPS, calling judges, and and spending hours on end trying to get a protective order against me, then I can promise you, she is. The only thing helping me right now is that her new husband has graduated, he can't find a job, and no more student loans... so they are too broke to do anything against me that would cost them any money. Which is why I need to make a move to protect my rights and my kids yesterday. I don't have any money either, but at least I know now that she is trying to make my son's breakdown about me and make me look dangerous. I couldn't care less what her crazy < hindquarters > thinks of me, but I do place a high value on being as prepared for this crap as much as possible.

[Dad1st&4ever]

I am saddened that your son is so troubled. Your energy could be better spent investigating his difficulties and seeking solutions - it is unlikely environmental - than reponding to your NJ's ranting graffiti on the public restroom wall.

There isn't a lot that I can do about my son's problems as a non-custodial parent with a crazy NJ who will never consent to me getting my son any help. I will talk to his doctors on Monday or at least get an appointment but that's the best I can do at this stage.

I do believe his troubles are mostly environmental. He has a very jealous older step-brother who has been violent to him and possibly still is. He was an only child, and then in 4 months NJ met and moved in with his father, bringing all these other kids and her craptastic attitude into his life. That's one reason I will cite for going after custody. I don't see how I will have any other choice if NJ tries to withhold my son tomorrow. I don't know what will happen; all I know is she has no legal recourse to use at the moment, so maybe she will behave and send him over. We'll see! I'll keep you all posted.