Hi and welcome to DadsDivorce, the leader in divorce help for men, fathers rights and mens rights. We provide divorced dads with concrete, practical divorce resources to achieve the best results in the courtroom.
I have a court order about dividing our non-covered payments based on ratio of our wages when the decree was finalized. We are supposed to be paying directly to the medical provider each of our portion.
NJ woke up the first time to the realities of "deductibles" etc. after 5 years of divorce. NJ is refusing to pay to the medical provider this time. NJ wants to come up with a scheme of "let's maintain a spreadsheet" and all that crap. I want to stick with the Court's method.
Anyone knows, how to take care of "credit record" issue if NJ doesn't pay and if your name is on the file as a responsible party? Do I pay first and then sue her? How do I "recover" in that case? Her portion won't be more than $80, but she is not willing to pay.
If her income is limited, then it's not worth pursuing. Even if she has the funds, this amount is so minor you might be better off just paying it, documenting it, and waiting until there's more to complain about.
I'll temper the above advice a bit. Don't sue over $250 or $500 in deductibles. Take action only after you have several things accumulated. However, there is no reason why you should NOT be building your case.
In Texas, payment of medical expenses, including each parent's share of med out of pockets, is considered child support. Meaning it is very enforceable, and she would have to pay part of your legal fees if found in violation of orders.
You should insist, in brief, professional business like letters, sent via certified mail return receipt requested with a copy by another means (like email or fax), that she pay the bills. You should be very specific as to the amounts she owes and to which providers. Give her specific time periods (like 10 days) to pay the bills. Make sure your terms are consistent with orders -- as in she is required to have paid them already so the 10 days serves as an additional reminder.
Do not pay until after she has received this letter and the ten days has passed.
Then, if after a certain period, you've accumulated alot of bills, add them up, then approach her again. If she ahs accumulated any bills, net out the two.
You pursue a Motion to Enforce when this amount is large enough to warrant it. Hopefully she'll have seen the light by then. Or if you have anything else to chase, you chase it, as use the Motion to Enforce as leverage.
The board is the sum of all of your great posts...Help divorced men be great dads! Divorce help in a father friendly divorce forum....more tips on how to deal with your divorce at DadsDivorce.com
Thanks guys. It all worked out without going to court. I sent an email to the Dr. with cut-and-paste from court order. Paid my share and requested the doctor office that they use NJ's address on their file (which she has insisted to be to get medical info about S12, despite me giving her all sorts of info) to write a letter to her about forwarding it to collecting agency. Once she received that she paid.
nighthawk wrote:If it is as in my state, CSE will inforce the court order for NJ to pay med. Expenses. simply contact CSE and inform them the she refuses to pay.
Keep in mind that CSE will only use the same tactics they use for collecting child support. In some cases, contacting CSE won't net any money.
There are other options available, which I've used myself. When NJ was the CP, she would never pay the medical bills so I would pay them. When the end of the year rolled around I sent her a notice of how much she owed. Of course she just ignored it so I sent it off to domestic relations with a request to offset CS. They did it with no problems.
This is a much easier approach than trying to negotiate with a NJ. Ask once, give her time to reply and if she ignores the request, send a request for domestic relations to either add or subtract (depending upon what side you are on) it from the CS pot.
"Success depends on your backbone, not your wishbone"
Mommy has Borderline Personality Disorder? She's very difficult to deal with? Buy this:
dadmisseskids wrote:Ask once, give her time to reply and if she ignores the request, send a request for domestic relations to either add or subtract (depending upon what side you are on) it from the CS pot.
I recently won a case regarding medical bills. Long story, but I ended up spending almost the same amount on a lawyer as she was asking for. But I had no choice, she motioned and I had to play defense. Her accusations easily proved to be false (I had the image of the check I sent her and she signed and deposited. The memo line in the check said "2010 medical"), but it still cost me a grand in lawyer fees for her to drop the case.
On the other hand, I think there was some benefit to me. The whole thing started when she told her parents a sob story about how she needed money to pay our kid's medical expenses. When in fact, she had received 85% of the expenses from me as in our agreement. But she wanted her parent's money and that required a better sob story.
The benefit to me is her parents should be wiser to her nonsense now, as all the money they spent on her lawyer was wasted. And she "confessed" (that word appears in our stipulation to drop the case) that she got the check but spent it on other things (herself) rather than the medical expenses.