I lose Memorial Day Weekend, and Christmas?

[spencerian]

The kids saw a GAL last year.

This year XMIL took me to court asking for more < parenting time >.
The GAL was appointed. But he never saw the kids. He never asked them what they wanted. Isn't his role to be the voice of the children?

Anyway, he recommended that whatever the XMIL asked for was fine.

They now get the 4th weekend every month.
9 days of vacation time with the kids.
One day (the 26th, or the 23rd) to spend Christmas with the kids.

My issue is I LOSE every Memorial Day weekend.
I will lose Christmas in 2015, 2016, and Christmas eve in 2017.
I lose every Thanksgiving day weekend. We have traveled to my sister's every Thanksgiving for the past 3 years, and spent the weekend with our entire family.

I went into this Pro Se. I consulted a lawyer after getting the ruling, and he said there is very little I can do, or that he can do for me.

NJ hasn't seen the kids in 20 months. But she still has the option.
What happens when she pops up and wants that < parenting time > again?
Will she give up HER weekends to XMIL? Seriously?

That also means I would get one weekend a month.

[dadmisseskids]

Anyway, he recommended that whatever the XMIL asked for was fine.

They now get the 4th weekend every month.
9 days of vacation time with the kids.

I would think is okay.

One day (the 26th, or the 23rd) to spend Christmas with the kids.

This seems okay too.

I will lose Christmas in 2015, 2016, and Christmas eve in 2017.

So the judge said that every year they can have the 23rd or the 26th but also get the 25th in 2015, 2016 and 2017? Do you lose the entire day or just a few hours?

My issue is I LOSE every Memorial Day weekend.

My parenting plan alternates years. I don't see how the judge gave the grandparent every memorial day every year.

NJ hasn't seen the kids in 20 months. But she still has the option.
What happens when she pops up and wants that < parenting time > again?
Will she give up HER weekends to XMIL? Seriously?

That also means I would get one weekend a month.

I wouldn't worry about only getting one weekend a month. However, what exactly does the order say? Perhaps if your ex pops back up her time now takes place of the XMIL? There's no reason for the XMIL to have her own time, your ex have her own time, you have your own time, your parents have their own time......get the point?

I consulted a lawyer after getting the ruling, and he said there is very little I can do, or that he can do for me.

If the lawyer was truthful, he's probably seen stuff like this and was just giving his honest opinion. If he was honest, at least he didn't take your money to file an appeal knowing you probably wouldn't win.

What state is this? I would research grandparent rights in your state and see exactly what the deal is. What you are writing doesn't make sense, unless the grandparents time is put in place of your ex's time. Never dealt with this though.

[Fatheroffour]

Spence, having been keeping up with your case for a while now, I think that if I were you I would be giving serious consideration to investigating into what it would take to spend a few years in Japan.

[jumbledone]

If there is a < parenting time > (how else to describe grandparents) given, there should be a schedule, including holidays (since you have noted that Grandmama gets Christmas).

Generally the holidays overrule normal < parenting time >. So, is Memorial Day spelled out? If not, why? If it is, and if falls on their weekend, and it is your year, too bad, so sad for Grandmama.

I am sure you covered this elsewhere, but why is it a bad idea for XMIL to have kids? They should have some contact with that side of the family.

[spencerian]

If there is a < parenting time > (how else to describe grandparents) given, there should be a schedule, including holidays (since you have noted that Grandmama gets Christmas).

I agree, there should be. but there isn't

Generally the holidays overrule normal < parenting time >. So, is Memorial Day spelled out? If not, why? If it is, and if falls on their weekend, and it is your year, too bad, so sad for Grandmama.

The only thing that is spelled out is the grandparents get the 4th weekend of every month. No stipulation for Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Memorial day weekend.

I am sure you covered this elsewhere, but why is it a bad idea for XMIL to have kids? They should have some contact with that side of the family.

They believe momma is no threat at all. They told me straight faced that I tricked the courts to get custody.
Momma stole my identity to have me killed. Grandma let momma use her credit card, and her computer to do it. That's facilitating a felony, but no one wants to go after grandma.

I had set up times to meet with other relatives to spend time with my kids.
The only stipulation I put on it was to keep it from momma aka NJ.
They refused. NJ is a great person in their eyes, and they think I'm being unreasonable.

Oh, and a few more things...

Grandma tells the kids she will end up with custody
Grandma records the kids via video and audio, while she pumps them for info.
Grandma has her boss monitor the kids through their health records.
Grandma tells my girls I am going to rape them, it's just a matter of time.

[massdaddio]

I agree, holidays/vacations trump the regular schedule. They lose their 4th weekend when there is a holiday. Offer the 3rd weekend to them or they can skip the visit for that month.

[Fatheroffour]

Japan.

I'll say Japan because it's an obvious choice for an instant fix to your problem but Japan might not be the right answer for you. Another state or another country. Somewhere away from the evil. You should investigate and at least find out because from my limited view of your situation that you've shared with the forum over the last two years you need to get away from your problem, not just try and learn to cope with it.

Psycho killer family will always be there. You owe it to your children to get them to a healthy adulthood before they have to deal with them, if they so choose, if you can possibly do it without jeopardizing custody.

I'd be googling the crap exploring my options if I were you.

[defaultuser]

FWIW, I think this is BS. Grandparents are not parents and therefore should have no rights unless they have been declared in some manner legal guardians.

My state (FL) is very clear on this having supreme court decision that basically says its up to the parents if they want anyone, including grandparents, to have access to the child.

What state are you in?

[spencerian]

Kentucky.

I am working on the best possible scenario at the moment.
Name Change happens tomorrow.
Then to the SS office for a number change.

There are no grandparent's rights in KY

[capslock]

Something worth looking at-

In most orders, holidays like Christmas are separate from the regular < parenting time > schedule.
Is it possible that you are misreading the schedule in regards to Christmas?

For instance- when the 4th weekend starts on a day like the 21st, or 27th or 28th, the ex inlaws would totally miss the holiday. Therefore the order calls for them to have an automatic day around the holiday as you describe, but not on the holiday. There is likely a reason it is written like that (not on the holiday)...because the parent gets the holiday.

Check the wording in your decree. If it calls for the ex inlaws to get BOTH the 4th weekend always, and described holidays, then I would say that is an error most likely against the spirit of the GAL recomendations and a clarification would be a shoe in.



in other words- it could have been snuck in by OC.