Need help.

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Re: Need help.

Postby The864 » Wed May 02, 2012 10:50 pm

Trevor wrote:Restraining orders and morality clauses in divorce decrees are not the same thing.


Theres about 27 restraining orders "fully incoprorated herein and in full force and effect"

From a moral enviroment to not dying the kids hair or percings without written consent.
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Re: Need help.

Postby The864 » Wed May 02, 2012 10:54 pm

BartSimpson wrote:And all she has to say is this clause is too restrictive and being used by a stalking jealous ex-husband to continue to try and control her.

Who is going to enforce these restrictions and limits? Are you going to drive by every night and make sure Lance Romance is gone?


No. Im not. I have evidence of it being broke numerous times and once she is reprimanded, I wait and give a PI her schedule (which is made out a year in advance) and about 2 grand and in about 2 weeks I will know if she is breaking them or not. They do not put these in here and not make people follow them. Its not optional. And with a 5 and 7 year old and the past its not going to just change becuase she cant follow them. This case is not common. I assure you.
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Re: Need help.

Postby BubbaGumpShrimp » Wed May 02, 2012 10:58 pm

The864 wrote:
BartSimpson wrote:And all she has to say is this clause is too restrictive and being used by a stalking jealous ex-husband to continue to try and control her.

Who is going to enforce these restrictions and limits? Are you going to drive by every night and make sure Lance Romance is gone?


No. Im not. I have evidence of it being broke numerous times and once she is reprimanded, I wait and give a PI her schedule (which is made out a year in advance) and about 2 grand and in about 2 weeks I will know if she is breaking them or not. They do not put these in here and not make people follow them. Its not optional. And with a 5 and 7 year old and the past its not going to just change becuase she cant follow them.
This case is not common. I assure you.


If you've got that kind of money to just throw around...throw it her way (by way of your attorney). If her judgment is as questionable as it sounds, I bet you could just pay her to give up custody. Have your lawyer tell her that "this arrangement will permit you to live the life that you want to live."
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Re: Need help.

Postby BartSimpson » Wed May 02, 2012 10:59 pm

If she breaks these rules, what do you think will happen?

I ask because you are using words incorrectly, like restraining order, but I am wondering if you have the concept right.

Do the police come by and enforce it, do you go back to court?




Sadly, your case is so common that we have had two threads today just like it. Albeit one involved a Dad who wanted to move in with his girlfriend, but the issues are the same.
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Re: Need help.

Postby The864 » Wed May 02, 2012 11:06 pm

BartSimpson wrote:If she breaks these rules, what do you think will happen?

I ask because you are using words incorrectly, like restraining order, but I am wondering if you have the concept right.

Do the police come by and enforce it, do you go back to court?




Sadly, your case is so common that we have had two threads today just like it. Albeit one involved a Dad who wanted to move in with his girlfriend, but the issues are the same.



When the divorce was final they asked if we understood the parenting guide lines and "restraining orders" (not like restraining orders that the wife and I would get for each other) but things limiting the kids. Thats what they are called in my decree.
But he said that if they were broken that the first thing would happen was a fine and that person who broke them would be responsible for court cost and lawyer fees and then the said the 2nd time we will go from there, but there isnt usually a 2nd time". Paraphrasing of course.
Last edited by The864 on Wed May 02, 2012 11:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Need help.

Postby The864 » Wed May 02, 2012 11:08 pm

BubbaGumpShrimp wrote:
The864 wrote:
BartSimpson wrote:And all she has to say is this clause is too restrictive and being used by a stalking jealous ex-husband to continue to try and control her.

Who is going to enforce these restrictions and limits? Are you going to drive by every night and make sure Lance Romance is gone?


No. Im not. I have evidence of it being broke numerous times and once she is reprimanded, I wait and give a PI her schedule (which is made out a year in advance) and about 2 grand and in about 2 weeks I will know if she is breaking them or not. They do not put these in here and not make people follow them. Its not optional. And with a 5 and 7 year old and the past its not going to just change becuase she cant follow them.
This case is not common. I assure you.


If you've got that kind of money to just throw around...throw it her way (by way of your attorney). If her judgment is as questionable as it sounds, I bet you could just pay her to give up custody. Have your lawyer tell her that "this arrangement will permit you to live the life that you want to live."



I wish I had it to throw around but i will borrow it if need be, times are tuff, and we dont do support either way. Im just sick of this over and over. But she would never go for that. She thinks she is a 'damn good mama"
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Re: Need help.

Postby BartSimpson » Wed May 02, 2012 11:14 pm

So you get the concept that you will have to go back to court and, with your evidence, demonstrate her violation of this morality clause. Using a PI is a good approach.

But she will have a chance at rebuttal and defend her actions. She will say that there is no harm to the children, that the kids love Lance Romance, and he is a peach of a fellow with kids of his own.

How do you prove this is harmful to your kids?
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Re: Need help.

Postby The864 » Wed May 02, 2012 11:25 pm

BartSimpson wrote:So you get the concept that you will have to go back to court and, with your evidence, demonstrate her violation of this morality clause. Using a PI is a good approach.

But she will have a chance at rebuttal and defend her actions. She will say that there is no harm to the children, that the kids love Lance Romance, and he is a peach of a fellow with kids of his own.

How do you prove this is harmful to your kids?



Thats kind of ahead of where Im at now. The main issue is not getting them all the time (right now). I would like to keep things the way their are but without her breaking the orders. But if she were to break it again after this with her judgement, or lack their of and her refusal to follow a judges repeated orders, it wont be that difficult. It would be the same for me if the shoe was on the other foot. If I was to get caught with a woman here late, and I went to court and was told not to do it again and I did, that clearly shows that I dont have "the best intrest of the children" at heart. (That phrase is in my decree about 12 times). And I would be in deep stuff.
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Re: Need help.

Postby The864 » Wed May 02, 2012 11:30 pm

Im just trying to do the right thing. Im not asking for something that she didnt agree on at 1st. Plus Im following the rules.
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Re: Need help.

Postby BartSimpson » Wed May 02, 2012 11:41 pm

Son, it's not like that.

Not even in South Carolina.



If you can't answer this question - What harm is this doing to your kids? - then you have no case for change of custody. And the honest to God truth is that it's not harmful to your kids that Mommy has a boyfriend now.

Do you know how long it takes to get in front of a judge for a contempt hearing in your court? 6 months is likely less than average.

Just because you follow the rules doesn't make them good rules. These morality clauses are very impractical in real life, and while they look good on paper, are near impossible to enforce. And that your ex- wife agreed, we know from the divorce that she changes her mind.
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