Ex is getting her second divorce

[SickLife]

I am 33 yrs old. Married for almost 5 years, live in ND.

I was never married to my ex, we share one daughter together. Our daughter is 11 years old. I have < parenting time > every other weekend and the whole summe. The ex moved out of town 30 miles away after her first divorce 3 years ago, remarried immediately after the divorce was final and is now in the process of being divorced again. Second husband is moving out this weekend according to my 11 year old daughter. She has 2 other children with the previous divorcee', one from me, one from another relationship before. All the children live together. Four kids altogether.

I am really concerned about the stability of the home, who is watching them while she works, ect. I get no answers, and often find out I have been lied too. Everything seems to be going down hill on her side of things. She quit a reputable job 2 years ago because of the commute, and is now working at a bar till close. My daughters grades are average, slightly below.

I tried gaining custody after her first divorce, but the judge found that there was no Prima Facie case present. We then stipulated out of court to the current < parenting time > schedule I listed above. This cost me about $5500.

I do not have a lot of money, but I feel like I should try again. I just care for our daughters well being and the environment she is in. I was wondering about your opinions if you believe I have an actual chance at having a real shot of gaining custody this time.

Thanks for listening.

[Fatheroffour]

The courts will not see your concern for the stability of her home and her suffering because of instability as the same thing.

I think you have a shot, but you need to pour over the decree and identify the areas you can attack as not working or needing to be changed in the childs best interest.

I think you may have a stronger case for getting ROFR and exercising more parenting time that way.

[Trevor]

Good for you in trying to leverage for more time for the best interest of your child. I agree with Fo4, exercising your time and seeking more should be your primary goal as you research what additional legal recourse you might have. If the oldest child is older than your daughter, old enough to babysit in your state, then your argument will be weakened. Good luck dude.

[SickLife]

Thanks guys for the advice.

She has yet to file any paperwork or even tell me that she is in the process of her second divorce. Then again she never told me she was getting married to her first husband, and the judge was pretty interested in hearing her explanation on why she never said anything. Her explanation was that she thought I was going to show up at the wedding. Her attorney asked me that question and I nearly busted out laughing. I think she is afraid that I cause turbulence in her life when she makes these big life swings that involve our daugter.

When everything starts to happen with this divorce, maybe I can try to talk to her about my daughter living with me during the school year. Then she can have her during the summer. Alternate weekends, holidays. Exact flip flop from what we have now. Except I wouldn't pursue child support. I think my chances are 1 to 100. But at least it's worth a shot.

[Transcended]

Just wondering, if you and her are already divorced, why would she be obligated to tell you or anyone else she was getting married or divorced again?

If things are going downhill on her end of things, just enjoy the Karma, but regardless, if there is not something concrete that you can prove in court as being a detriment to the kids, Im not sure what if much there is to gain here. In my opinion, court wont step in and change things unless Mom is admittedly doing drugs, has committed felonies, or is in a mental ward.

[CCR]

She might become more financially stable since, with 3 child support orders, regardless what else she does, she can list her job as "professional child support collector."