An overlooked aspect of EOW given to Dads.

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An overlooked aspect of EOW given to Dads.

Postby 4myboys » Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:27 am

I've been divorced for about a year and a half now. Life is beyond great.

However, one thing I'm really struggling with is finding time with each kid individually. My older son (8) always asks if he can spend time with me alone away from his brother. And his brother (6), asks for the same thing. Problem is, I have them together as most fathers do.

As Fathers, we all know how important this time is for kids. They need individual attention from us.
Has anybody else encountered this problem? And how did you deal with it?
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Re: An overlooked aspect of EOW given to Dads.

Postby defaultuser » Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:32 am

My kids are 3 years apart and they don't ask for time alone, but they are girls and get along pretty good.

A couple times a month, I set up play dates or something comes up where one goes to something and the other does not. Its a good opportunity to get some 1 on 1 time with the other kid. My younger kid goes to her friends house to play for a couple hours and it leaves me with the opportunity to spend time with my older one alone.
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Re: An overlooked aspect of EOW given to Dads.

Postby Fatheroffour » Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:44 am

Is there any chance at all that your ex will agree to a little quid pro quo so that you can both enjoy some one on one parenting time and bonding with your children?
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Re: An overlooked aspect of EOW given to Dads.

Postby Treading Water » Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:49 am

My ex and I set up a fairly unique schedule to cover just this point. We were 50/50, one week on one week off so we staggered the exchange days for each of my girls. One child would be with me Wed-Tues, and the other child from Thurs-Wed. This meant that both my ex and I had a child on Wednesday. Of course my ex was only a little wacko and willing to work with me on what was best for the kids.

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Re: An overlooked aspect of EOW given to Dads.

Postby massdaddio » Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:52 am

If your ex has the majority of the time, ask if she'd be willing to let you take a kid one night/week for a few hours of 1:1 time. Point out that this will also give her 1:1 time with the other kid.
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Re: An overlooked aspect of EOW given to Dads.

Postby 4myboys » Thu Apr 26, 2012 3:31 pm

Fatheroffour wrote:Is there any chance at all that your ex will agree to a little quid pro quo so that you can both enjoy some one on one parenting time and bonding with your children?


She's been more open about this as time goes on. We swap days all the time. For instance, if I have to work late they stay with her and I get them on another random day of my choice. But I need to think of a good way to make this happen so the nutjob feels like she's winning somehow. I really do want to see both of my boys, so this would require an extra day with one of them. She is still incredulous that I got Expanded possession, even a year later, so allowing me an extra day with my children might be too much for her to handle.
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Re: An overlooked aspect of EOW given to Dads.

Postby wcd9973 » Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:44 am

4myboys wrote:She's been more open about this as time goes on. We swap days all the time. For instance, if I have to work late they stay with her and I get them on another random day of my choice. But I need to think of a good way to make this happen so the nutjob feels like she's winning somehow. I really do want to see both of my boys, so this would require an extra day with one of them. She is still incredulous that I got Expanded possession, even a year later, so allowing me an extra day with my children might be too much for her to handle.


Its not a extra day. This comes up with my ex. We have worked it out very easy. I have a s10 and d8.

I will say "hey -We should do a 1 on 1 time. On my normal day how about I take only S and you keep D for a treat. Then next week, on YOUR normal day I take D and you take S".
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