So, um, haven't seen my decree...

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So, um, haven't seen my decree...

Postby readyalready » Sun Feb 19, 2012 8:54 am

We had our final this week.

I still have the urge to be vague, but I guess I can actually explain my situation now.

I married my wife in NC in 2008, after moving back there, she still lived there, as we are both from there and had met there many many years earlier, and she still lived there. I have moved to a city in north florida and had lived and gone to school there.

Let's see, how to boil this down. We lived together in our hometown, first half of 2008, I found out how painfully close she was to finishing her degree in another NC town, and decided the first order of business was to help her get that out of the way - she had dropped out in 2001. SO we went and she did that, it turned out that in the field related to my degree, that that area would have been a great place for me to settle, but that was also 2008, and people were jumping out of their office windows, so we came down to the same N. Fl. city, and I went right back to work there.

Well she kinda sat around, we rented an el cheapo, that I put so much work into, to make it enjoyable, and things were fine. Summer '09, I was on the road almost every week for months, and even though I spent all my time with her, it was pretty miserable.
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Re: So, um, haven't seen my decree...

Postby readyalready » Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:09 am

for some reason, my computer does something wierd when the field gets just so full, so I'll do it post by post...

Anyway, there were two miscarriages, one when she was in school, which ironically was why she had dropped out so many years before, and we got through that, and then one in, I'll just call it NFC for "north florida city"...

While in college town, I had one incident with a simple assault that was 3rd-party report, voluntarily dismissed, and then, same day she married me.

okay, back on track - nope, not yet... another aside - in fall 2005, she had left in a hurry from NC college town where she was living with a guy, and showed up at my house in NFC, but did not stay long, but managed to get pregnant in that time(?) - that one was aborted. may not have, might have, but was certainly my closest call with that, and she is still the only one i ever got there with.

anyway, so D1.5 was concieved in fall '09, and right about that time, I had an orthopedic surgery, and she left me suddenly. gone a few weeks, talked to lawyer and legal services about getting out then, as I felt pretty intolerably abandoned, and she lost the job that we were counting on for me to be able to take off to have the work done. I was advised that pregnant couples cannot get divorced, so I did what I could to get her to come back, that e-mail was used against me in trial, doh! Her lawyer also busted out some 2010 3rd DCA ruling on a relocation granted to a pregnant woman, but I haven't actually seen the case law...

So, she came back, I took another job, a much better one in fact, and we were having a baby. Okay - well, this job had 1) a bunch of crazies - and I mean they are ALL gone, or being sued at this time, and later, 2) the opportunity to transfer to a different region of FL where HER new college degree and training would have been worth its weight... We talked it over many times, and she was gung-ho... That opportunity came the day after I finally got her and the baby in the car to go up to spend some time with her family.
Last edited by readyalready on Sun Feb 19, 2012 12:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: So, um, haven't seen my decree...

Postby readyalready » Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:19 am

The baby was about a month-and-a-half at the time. I had moved the family much closer to my work, and in town, but she was literally scaring me with her emotional condition.I had always supported and urged her to normalize her relationship with her adopted parents, which was so wierd, as I came to find out over the course of the marriage, such that when she had dropped out before, with what is a legitimate medical issue, she never told them what had happened - this was confirmed when I called her dad from the hospital during round two, as I was so scared she might give up again - I dunno - she took them really hard, as i guess having grown up with a mom who could not have her own... whatever... either way, I thought she might do well to be home with her dad who was retired and had al day to watch her

anyway, she gets up there, next day boss says, "if you wanna apply for that job, you better do it today..." I do, I interview, I get it, all the while she is back home, vasillating between ready to go and not coming back, so the decision to take the job down here was a cluster-bomb from the beginning... She comes back 4 days before we are supposed to move, we throw the crap in the truck, and hit the road.

I got a second and third job, dodged her at home, and bam, she took off with the kid. she had intimated that she had "things" she wanted to do in NC, and they were chronologically close, but that she wanted to stay about three months, as travel over 800 miles with a baby is expensive and tiresome. I told her that was too long to be gone with the baby, but ...

You guys have known me since then.
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Re: So, um, haven't seen my decree...

Postby readyalready » Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:28 am

Anyway, I filed a timely petition, went through the process, had a judge on his way out set trial for the the third of never...

She did what I guess is typical, and came to court with a routine that exaggerated events, recounted events that never happened, and I'm gonna say probably embellished those too... judge said he found that stuff credible, and to the extent that her improper relocation be sanctioned, well, pthbbb...

anyway, apparently, all I have to do is pass a psych eval, and I get "extended < parenting time >".

My case got so effed up. I have done so much right, but it came to naught.

NOW - I want to see my kid as often and for as much as I can. I dug in here, and it may look like I'm wanting to stay, but whatever it takes, and I guess it means moving down the street, you guys have got to help me do. I would have done it already, but I need mom pinned down with a court order before I start chasing her all over the country-side.

She's a mover.

Okay, this should be enough to get a thread going. Hell, I wanted to move back up there in 2008. I don't really care where we wind up. Just don't want to go through this indefinitely, taking NJ in another state to court to get my kiddo back again. Once is enough. It seems as though the courts, if they can't do anything else, could make this happen. If I did pack up and go there, what keeps her from doing this again? I'm not even kidding. Do parents with primary just get to get up and go whenever they want?
Last edited by readyalready on Sun Feb 19, 2012 12:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: So, um, haven't seen my decree...

Postby readyalready » Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:49 am

SO funny you should mention that - ? :lol:

Seriously, I know what I'm talking about, but I do not know what you are talking about, so that makes us even. I can paste it all into one, but I don't see how to make it easy to read. Fine, my writing sucks, I guess I'll have to work on these posts. There is an edit button. Its a complicated story, and I'm writing it down.

But the answer to your question is "fish sticks".
Last edited by readyalready on Sun Feb 19, 2012 12:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: So, um, haven't seen my decree...

Postby stb_divorced » Sun Feb 19, 2012 12:15 pm

hard is that too read, no wow?
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