My dad just passed away tonight.

[thecaptain24]

My dad passed away a few hours ago unexpectedly during a surgery. Cardiac Arrest. My unit is doing everything to get me on leave to get home. I'm leaving Sunday since its the soonest I can leave with my financial situation.

I want my son to come with me to be with my family. But I know this will already be a problem. Judge granted my ex can take him the 15th of this month until the 1st to Florida. What can I do? I know she'll say no, I contacted my attorney via email. I plan on being gone the 12th-20th. Will my attorney just file an emergency motion, and will there be enough time before this weekend to get it done? Or am I just wasting time and money and more heart ache attempting to have my son with my family next week. I have to leave by Sunday. Is this something a judge will just rule on in the next few days without a hearing? Anyone have any idea?

[lohe]

Explain the situation and ask her?

Ya, I know mine would say no just to spite me but you never know.

Sorry to hear about your father.

[spritom]

Sorry to hear....unexpectedly too. My dad's going into some routine surgery tomorrow morning, so some of those thoughts are shared.

Filing an emergency motion is typically the way to get in front of a judge fast...but even then, their idea of "emergency-timing" is a few weeks and not a few days.

It's an extreme situation. Even with the big NJ's (and yours can be put up there with most anybody...and including that she just bailed on a verbal side-deal not long ago), I'd still ask her for a side-deal trade.

Make an offer for an exchange of time and also set it up so that NJ wouldn't be out any money or extra travel time. Basically make it a sweet deal for her. After all, the part you're wanting is this special time with your child, not necessarily a to-the-minute-even-trade thing.

If you can, make the offer in a recordable format, such as an email. The idea is two-fold:
* make nicey-nicey for the good of the children "let's work together"
* make it so that if she says no (which she is within her rights to do), that it will totally make her look like the lowest of the low...denying her own child to pay last respects. I'm not sure if her CO can get wind of this.

Last...don't beat your self up too far on this. If she says no, then try to regroup and use her refusal as exhibit #4526 later.

[Max]

I'm sorry for your loss Sir.

[thecaptain24]

Sorry to hear....unexpectedly too. My dad's going into some routine surgery tomorrow morning, so some of those thoughts are shared.

Filing an emergency motion is typically the way to get in front of a judge fast...but even then, their idea of "emergency-timing" is a few weeks and not a few days.

It's an extreme situation. Even with the big NJ's (and yours can be put up there with most anybody...and including that she just bailed on a verbal side-deal not long ago), I'd still ask her for a side-deal trade.

Make an offer for an exchange of time and also set it up so that NJ wouldn't be out any money or extra travel time. Basically make it a sweet deal for her. After all, the part you're wanting is this special time with your child, not necessarily a to-the-minute-even-trade thing.

If you can, make the offer in a recordable format, such as an email. The idea is two-fold:
* make nicey-nicey for the good of the children "let's work together"
* make it so that if she says no (which she is within her rights to do), that it will totally make her look like the lowest of the low...denying her own child to pay last respects. I'm not sure if her CO can get wind of this.

Last...don't beat your self up too far on this. If she says no, then try to regroup and use her refusal as exhibit #4526 later.

My atty emailed her atty about it. I told her to hold off until later today with her motion. She's requesting a motion for a phone conference with the judge. She thinks she can get in it before Friday due to circumstances.

Problem is I have to offer to pay something, like the cost of fixing her plane tickets. I know with a judges orders she'll be vindictive and find the highest cost alternative. I don't want to get slapped with it, I financially can't do that, making a trip to California and back, with no one regulating making sure shes trying to get the best deal and to be fair. I think paying to fix it would be fair in normal circumstances. But the ex already owes me 2600 for a bill, and in Apr at our final hearing worst case scenario for me, she'll still be overpaid CS in the amount of 3600. She knows this already. But she's not much on favors or fairness. I told my atty, worst case we bring it in front of the judge in April to show how cruel she can be.

[Trevor]

1. Really sorry to hear about your father, hope he is in peace right now.

2. I think you should be chasing alternatives right now and pricing things so that you know what is reasonable and what is not. Use your favorite online travel aggregator to price out some scenarios.

3. Use your frequent flyer miles if applicable.

4. Find out the ticket number today so you can change the ticket to fly to where she is, from where your father will be resting, and absorb the cost difference. YOU should do this if possible, not your X...though they may not let you since you did not buy the ticket. perhaps she can advise the airline that you'll be calling to change the outbound flight.

5. If you simply buy a ticket separately to fly the child to where she is, from where your father will be resting, causing the kid to miss the outbound flight, the airline might cancel the return flight. Don't do anything without letting the ticketed airline know. They might waive some fees (or refund you) if they know it is for bereavement.

6. Sidebar...that brought to mind the Double-Dipping episode of Seinfeld when George was trying to get a reduced airfare...

[Bubba Seal]

First Im sorry for your loss.

I have to ask does your son want to go with you?

[thecaptain24]

First Im sorry for your loss.

I have to ask does your son want to go with you?

He's only 4. I don't think he will understand, but my family hasn't seen him in a few years because of deployments and this custody crap, so I realize its more for them but they really want him to be there for this. But I know he would enjoy himself since he loves his cousins, and aunts and uncles, grandparents and would enjoy seeing them.

I just got an email from the ex. She won't work with me on it.

[Bubba Seal]

I may not be in the majority here, but based on your situation I would just let it pass.

I know there are a hundred reasons to have him there, but hes just 4.

Once again Im sorry for your loss, and thanks for serving the country.

Good Luck

[thecaptain24]

I may not be in the majority here, but based on your situation I would just let it pass.

I know there are a hundred reasons to have him there, but hes just 4.

Once again Im sorry for your loss, and thanks for serving the country.

Good Luck

It's looking like that's my only option at this point. Sucks. But I guess, one more reason to show shes heartless. Shes telling me she can't change her plane tickets (even though i offered to pay the expense) and then she said, she already prepaid for a trip to Disney World. I asked what day she was going to Disney, obviously I wouldn't interfere with his his trip but I can come home a day or two earlier to accommodate her plans . She refuses to offer up that info, meaning my requesting a few days into her trip won't interfere with her Disney plans.

Guess I'll bend over and take it again..