Lawmoe, is this medical neglect?

[raf in OR]

Need some advice here. I posted a little while back about my son needing his wisdon teeth extracted and his mother not willing to do it since she would have to make a payment up front as required by the dentist and then she would get reimbursed for all but her share of the uninsured part (about $150). This was last August that the DDS told her he should have this done.

It is now May, son graduated from HS last week and turns 18 next week. I took him to the DDS so he could have his teeth cleaned while I was there for his graduation (they live in KY, I live in OR). Mom has not taken him to the DDS since that last visit in Aug probably because she didn't want the DDS to reiterate the problem with the wisdom teeth. I talked to the DDS about son's wisdom teeth and saw the xrays showing how badly they are coming in.

Son will no longer be covered by my insurance after age 18 since he won't be in school. Considering the short time here, how do I get her to take him in to have this done? It all boils down to she doesn't want to pay anything. She figures that once he turns 18, she will no longer be required to pay anything. Legally this is true but it could easily have been taken care of by now!

If son has to do this himself w/o insurance, it will cost him about $2000.

Would son have a case against Mom for not doing this in a timely manner when insurance was available?

Son also didn't receive HS diploma since the $50/yearly book fee for his 3 HS years was not paid.

Burns me up that all the CS I pay never gets to him for his benefit.

Thanks in advance.

[Lawmoe]

Would son have a case against Mom for not doing this in a timely manner when insurance was available?

No.

Moreover, if there was neglect,it woud be a two way street since either parent could take him in to the doctor and make a claim to teh insurance. Why don't you just take him in to have the procedure performed and seek reimbursement from mom? Generally uninsured medical expenses are divided. Is that what is ordered in your case?

[raf in OR]

Not only does our decree state that uninsured med expenses are split 50/50, it also proscribes exactly how other med items are handled. This was ordered by the courts due to previous refusals by the ex to pay her share. So the docs specify that the CP handle the payments and that I am to send my share directly to the provider after I have received both a copy of the bill and the statement from my insurance company showing what insurance has paid. I will not deviate from the court docs since in the past beaucoup problems have arisen when she deviated, which is why the court came down on her concerning all of that and made her pay my legal fees to enforce the court order.

With just a week left here, and me 2000 miles away, court is not an option.

If I took son and paid,Mom would NEVER reimburse me despite being court ordered to do so. Mom still has money I overpaid to the doctor which they accidentally refunded to her. Can't seem to get that back either!!!! I'm done running back to court to get her to be a parent.

But thanks for the answer anyhow. I was just curious.

[Kat]

Well, as much as it truly sucks if you are concerned for your son's dental health, I would call the provider and have your son get his butt there and tell the provider to send you the bill and pay it. Wouldn't it be better to pay the $150 than to have your son stuck with either A. bad teeth that will DEFINATELY lead to future problems or B. a $2000 bill to deal with immediately upon graduation?

I understand how ticked off you must be and how unfair it is. But sometimes the kids health just has to supercede that. Get the kid's teeth taken care of and then if you don't want to eat the cost, pursue legal rammifications including nailing mom for the bill and any legal expenses it takes to get her to do it. If you don't want to fight about it, pay the money and be glad that the kid is 18 and you don't have to deal with her on money issues any more. Tell your son he can consider it his graduation gift.

I truly know and empathize with you about the fact that it's a sucky situation. But speaking as a young adult who didn't get proper dental care with regards to her wisdom teeth, your son will be grateful if you take care of this for him. I have long lasting effects from waiting too long to have them extracted. Please consider getting them extracted before the insurance runs out.

Just my thoughts.

Kat