Nervous ahead of court...any advice or words of wisdom?

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

The typical experience is that in the couple of minutes you are there the judge establishes the way it is (status quo) as a court order until trial. Generally, that's why moving out is such a horrible idea.

Better make sure your attorney is very aggressive about NOT keeping things the way they are or you will be really screwed for another year or so until trial.

One thing I'm curious about is that NJ had 20 days to file a response to my complaint (fault based divorce + pendente lite hearing). She filed nothing. If she shows up (sans attorney, I'm assuming), is she going to be given much time to flap her gums?

From what I've read here, that tends to apply when there are kids "of the marriage" and custody is the primary concern. There are no kids "of the marriage" in this case.

For an 11 month marriage (VA), she shouldn't be entitled to much (if any) SS. She makes $25/hr...I make $35/hr. Just from the trail of bills that I've paid over the past three months and the absolute lack of any money coming from her...I'm hoping that serves to back up my position that she's basically a bum.

This court date also happens to coincide with the three months that I gave her in the PSA. I'm hoping that the judge sees that I've been reasonable and doesn't financially rape me more than I already have been.

As far as the house goes...I can't see how she won't be expected to pay for something, at a minimum (if not given a period of time to get out). I'm broke at the moment. Either she: 1. Gets out, or 2. Starts paying, or I'm walking away from the mortgage...even if that involves a contempt of court charge. I'm done. I'm about ready to go load up my pack and go live in the mountains.

[Fatheroffour]

I'm pulling for you bud but from what I've seen being 'reasonable' and hoping a judge will throw some fairness your way has a poor return on investment.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

Yeah...I hear you. I'm hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. We'll see. Thank you.

[finallyhappyhere]

Good luck and please post back on the outcome.

I'm in a similar situation except a few things... In JDR she didn't get spousal support, but I'm still paying mortgage (in both names), car (in my name that she drives) and insurance.

She filed for Pendente Lite relief asking me to continue paying mortgage, car, insurance, child support PLUS give her support money. Mortgage, car, insurance and CS are more than $2600. Oh...and she's working part-time making about 15k and hasn't even looked for a job. Hopefully the judge will tell her to get a job and life... it's been over a year.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

Yup. I'll post up how it went regardless of the outcome. I'm surprised how little information there is out there on this type of hearing.

I'll try to take notes on the process and format too. Having been in the military and being used to mission planning everything out before execution/doing something...not having a clue on what to expect is what's really getting me at the moment.

On a side note...I called the daycare for NJ's kids today to get a record of how many days they've gone in the past three months. They've gone a total of six days...for a grand total of $450 (STBXMIL has been watching them). I'm curious to hear how it is that she's broke (she'll claim that she need SS if she shows up). The only bill that she's responsible for paying at the moment is her ~$130 phone bill No daycare or home expenses. It must be nice.

[MrCoolDC]

I am curious: if "her" car is in your name, why not just take it and sell it. When did being married begin to include in the contract providing independent transportation for your NJ?

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

I am curious: if "her" car is in your name, why not just take it and sell it. When did being married begin to include in the contract providing independent transportation for your NJ?

The financing is in my name. I was a dummy and titled it in both of our names. Therefore, it is both of our car.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

Owned. Oh well. It's gonna be in the 90*'s this weekend. We'll see how much she likes the house sans air conditioning, water, gas, and cable.

This email is to let you know that the Pendente Lite Hearing set for tomorrow afternoon will be continued due to the fact that your wife has retained counsel. Please call the office to speak with Ms. xxxx and she will explain the particulars.

Thank you,

[Chosen2Dad]

^^^^ NICE!

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

She's gonna have the last laugh though. Over a 11 month marriage.... I'm going to end up with wrecked credit before I get her out of the house (sitting at ~730 at the moment). I'm tapped out because I've been paying for everything. I have no money for extra attorney $h1t.

I'm sure she's got $5k+ set aside to just delay things. Let's put it this way...she can throw that money at an attorney to keep her in a free 3BR house for probably the next 6+ months, or she can go drop that money on rent for a apartment in ~five months (not including utilities). It's a no brainer for her.

Not quite sure what I'm going to do. I'll cut the utilities...though that's just going to be a minor inconvenience for her. I'm sure after paying a deposit, she can have them turned on in her name within 24 hours. Beyond that...I have pretty much no recourse. As all five of the lawyers I spoke with said...if NJ doesn't want to leave...it's going to pretty much take an act of god to get her out (even though the house is in my name...not hers).