Taking bigger steps than the baby ones

[RacerX35]

So yesterday I went to my bank, dropped the old joint account, removed the stbx from my direct deposit of my finance returns and will be going over to her bank to close that bank account today . Now I'll just write her a check once a month. Going to see an attorney on the tenth and then the mediation on the 16th. I've decided that if she says that she is moving on, then so shall I and not worry about how she deals with her own stuff,,,,, aside from our kids. That's one of the things that I will be pushing on - Notification of travel outside of our town. She tried telling me that it was none of my business as to where she was going. I told her that it is when she is taking the kids along with her. I'm finally listening to you guys more. Thanks for all the advice.
She'll also be removed from my life insurance and my sister will be added for the FBO of the kids. Looking forward to how the judge will address the "Gavron Warning" as well.

Later,

Ray

[Fatheroffour]

Notification for leaving the city limits isn't going to happen but good for you on taking steps in the right direction.

[RacerX35]

Out of the county??
We're on the south border of Riverside county here in SoCal. All her family lives in San Diego County. I would tell her if I was going to Santa Barbara to visit the other half of my family there and would update her as to wat's going on during the time there. Might just be me though.

Later,

Ray

[Fatheroffour]

Free country.

Divorce means you don't have to check in any more.

[Chosen2Dad]

Don't give info if you don't have to...less is more!

[RacerX35]

Well, saw the attorney yesterday. She basically showed me that I will probably be paying alimony and CS to about $8,200 a month, which $2300 less than we had earlier discussed verbally (she had already received one payment through her direct deposit in that amount, but no longer). Another thing is that I will be discussing during mediation that I want to keep the staus quo of < parenting time > as it is. Currently, our 50/50 slpit gives me every other weekend and two sleep over nights a week. Attorney told me to keep it that way when school starts up. That way stbx can't say that she is doing everything to keep the kid's education going, I will be providing my involvement in this area and showing my dedication to the kids. As stated, she will no longer be getting the direct deposit that she wanted (I force closed the account) and I will write checks to her for the amount that the mediator suggests, if I agree to it. I will take the papers to my attorney first before I agree to anything. Any other advice will be appreciated.

Thanks for all the prior advice,

Ray

[RC211V]

Do as much as possible to be involved in the everyday stuff of the kids lives (for you because you're their dad, but also to make sure you have a good case). So yeah, work really hard to keep the middle week time going, be responsible for taking them to school/doctors/sports. If she ever tries to leave (when she does, probably) you will have a solid case for keeping them with you.

[RacerX35]

Another thing is that the attorney I selected has 34 years of family law experience and has no reported public discaplinary actions within the California State Bar. She is charging about $50.00 less per hour than this mediator is as well.


Later,

Ray

[RacerX35]

Do as much as possible to be involved in the everyday stuff of the kids lives (for you because you're their dad, but also to make sure you have a good case). So yeah, work really hard to keep the middle week time going, be responsible for taking them to school/doctors/sports. If she ever tries to leave (when she does, probably) you will have a solid case for keeping them with you.

Definitely my plan. Even with the amount that I will be paying her, half of that will be going to the mortgage she insisted on paying. She will have to get a job and with her educational background that her parents did not provide her, she will be hard pressed to find anything above minimum wage. Waiting to see how she reacts to the "Gavron Warning" as well. hahahahaha

[Bubba Seal]

Racer if you are paying her $98,400 a year she should be able to afford a mortgage, man thats a bunch man. Have you made sure you have your CS figured right?

50/50 and paying that out, thats a chunk of cheese


Also, RacerX???? as in MX?