Getting divorced - would like insight and/or advice

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

with more than 1/3 of my life invested in her, I feel a need to try and hold it all together.

Throwing good money after bad is horrible investment advice. You're investment isn't paying off but you did get some good dividends while you had it. It's time to withdraw and better spend your resources. With such a flakey mom, your kids need a good, strong, level headed dad. Be that dad.

x2. It's that line of reasoning that leads many people to stay with a terrible spouse. Look at it this way...would you rather spend what good years you have remaining with someone like that?

[hoosier_dad]

I'm no doctor, but sometimes when someone shows symptoms of being a lazy skank it's because they're a lazy skank.

Hope you don't take that as piling on because I've been in your shoes and looked for a reason for my ex to become a completely different person as well, thought it might be easier to understand. Had a psych eval from a pHD forensic psychologist and the official diagnosis was that my ex was a immature selfish bi*tch. OK, I added the bi*tch part but thousands of bucks for a clinical eval simply told me that she is what she's always been, I just chose not to see it. Trying to spin your wheels finding an explanation for her actions is a rabbit hole you don't want to go down.

[Chosen2Dad]

I hope my stbx's eval cames back that way Hoosier! I would love it!

FG: you're gonna be fine! I mean fine! You are impacting your kids everyday with value and morals. Be the guy your kids need...better for you...family..and them...You are in great shoes with respect to a lot of members on here!

SMILE! We're all backing you!

[FGantIV]

Wow, thanks for all the responses!

I'm 99.99% sure it's not a narcotics addiction, she's allergic to stuff like morphine and the only prescription she's had was a one time, week long, Prednisone prescription. Immature selfish b*tch sounds about right though. The drama has continued to unfold since my posting and suffice to say, she's shown it. Telling me that I'm climbing up her a** after asking her one stinkin question, but five minutes prior was being all nice...

My biggest problem at this point is the money. I just started a new job two months ago and don't have the money to retain the lawyer. Currently working family to see if I can raise enough to go ahead.

[Bubba Seal]

To the OP one thing I would suggest is to stop boinking the stbx, just stop it, it will mess up how you look at this deal.

Beg, borrow or steal the money to get a lawyer and get rolling, you have a great chance from what youve shared to keep your kids with you. I think you need to file to establish residency of your kids where you are, Im not sure how long she has to live where she is before she can file, so get er done!

Good Luck