She filed a TRO and I was just escorted out of my home....

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Re: She filed a TRO and I was just escorted out of my home..

Postby Rod27 » Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:48 pm

ThIs is only until the 26th because the TRO is still in effect until the final hearing. I'm just happy I get to see my son, but the bonus was that she is vacating the condo on the 15th because she "fears for her life". Maybe she does, but that's her NJ irrational mind working.

The afternoon started out bad......my junior attorneys think today is just to set a future hearing date. They get a big surprise when the court clerk starts talking saying this is a 15 minute hearing to hear as much as possible due to the tight schedule. I share my journal to help them cram. So I walk into the courtroom with the judge sitting there on his bench. My attorney asks for a continuance because I just switched attorneys, the head attorney had a pre-planned vacation, and we needed time for discovery. But we would at least like time sharing to see my son. My NJ's attorney says the status quo should continue if we want a continuance, but the judge denies saying the S10m should see his father, but that we needed to work it out. I didn't get to say anything. I left the courtroom in limbo. My attorneys walk back inside to start negotiation, and come back out with my wife stubbornly saying no overnights and only every other Friday and every other weekend until the final hearing. I say no. The back and forth continues....we end up with Wednesday's and Friday's starting tomorrow, and every other weekend. I'm displaced and not in my own home so I dont mind no overnights just yet. His crib and clothes are all at my condo, which I can't go back to until the 16th.

Another surprise was that her attorney said I violated the TRO. I texted her cousin Victor because he is my friend too. But I didn't ask anything about her....just explained the whole situation. I also entered through the main security gate in my complex one night to deliver my truck which i just sold, and it is parked near the marina all the way on the other side of the complex/golf course about 1/4 mile away, and I suspect her attorney got a log of my entry. But I went to the marina and not anywhere near the condo building. Ether way it isn't a violation of the TRO and the judge didn't want to hear anything about it until the final hearing. He reminded the courtroom that violation is subject to arrest, but implied that unless I showed up at the front door, he wasn't going to consider it a violation.

My attorney said her story had so many inconsistencies that the audio isn't necessary, and will just paint me in a bad light to the judge. I tend to agree......the judge just wants to move on with his schedule with as little drama as possible. The NJ was melting down during the time sharing negotiation.

I think less is more. I'm happy with what it looks like will happen and am more comfortable knowing how this process works. She has no evidence to present to the judge, her mom left to Tampa so there is no witness even though she can't say any domestic violence occurred, and she only had her cousin Victor there to testify I texted him?!? The journal is invaluable because every detail of the day is there to refer back to. Plus I can always listen to the audio whenever I want to remember things. My story is consistent and will stay that way.
Last edited by Rod27 on Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: She filed a TRO and I was just escorted out of my home..

Postby Fatheroffour » Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:59 pm

I dont mind no overnights just yet.


You should.
Everyone lies.
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Re: She filed a TRO and I was just escorted out of my home..

Postby Rod27 » Thu Jul 05, 2012 9:25 pm

defaultuser wrote:So the TRO had its desired effect. You get every other weekend and two days a week, which, by the way she gets credit for as far as child support. You could have done worse, but not by much, especially considering Florida is relatively easy to get 50/50.

Sorry I don't share your feelings. I don't see how you're happy when the judge basically acknowledged that your kid should be with your wife for overnights even if she moves out of the family home.

Did I mention you're getting screwed?


This arrangement is only for 3 weeks until the final hearing on the 26th. Child support was calculated and it turns out to be the same as after the divorce.
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Re: She filed a TRO and I was just escorted out of my home..

Postby Thoughts? » Thu Jul 05, 2012 11:46 pm

The judge sounds reasonable.

You get to see your son. Kudos.

Take your minor setbacks as lessons. For example, next time you sell something like your truck, pick another flipping location. Assume all will be used against you regardless of innocence. And why the need to educate the cousin? He's her blood relative. Meet at a Starbucks, or for a beer someplace. Anything in writing, even electronically, can & will be used against you & read in open court.

But you do get to see your son. So take what we're saying here in stride, as we are on your side. We're your supporters, we being guys however will just, like, lay it out there. Which is kind of our role. No holds barred, no BS feedback on strategy from dads who've been there.
The board is the sum of all of your great posts...Help divorced men be great dads! Divorce help in a father friendly divorce forum....more tips on how to deal with your divorce at DadsDivorce.com
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Re: She filed a TRO and I was just escorted out of my home..

Postby Hopin4daBest » Sat Jul 07, 2012 3:30 am

She seems like true NJ from her demeanor in court you described. This attempt at alienation by keeping the kid from you as much as possible is an act that doesn't last long. How long exactly, depends. Is she manic and a loose canon? Is she drama prone? If so, she'll fall apart in due time and you just need to be ready to broadcast it in court.
My lawyer just subpoena'd a "HIPPA rights locked" police report of my NJ's recent meltown. She left my S1 & S8 at a boyfriends house that she met the night prior. Meanwhile she proceded to bashhis car and tried to whack a good samaritan with a metal pipe, while yelling that the world is hers like Scarface. She was subdued and carted off to the psych ward for 10 days.
Prior to this I was patiently waiting for this as an EOW dad for almost a year.
I found my boys, who were intercepted by her insane parents and transported to another state. I raised hell in police stations, court, sheriffs offices, child services..You name it.
Now I have them plus my house back.

Miracles don't just happen on Christmas my friend. Be patient. Be ready.
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Re: She filed a TRO and I was just escorted out of my home..

Postby Rod27 » Sat Jul 07, 2012 12:13 pm

wow that is a true NJ....glad it all worked out for you. Mine is just an angry witch...but i heard she let some of it out in the courtroom when the time sharing negotiation took place. She will be deposed, as well as everyone else, before the final hearing on the 26th. Her mom, who she has as a witness to the pushing incident, went back to Tampa. The judge said she can be deposed by phone.
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Re: She filed a TRO and I was just escorted out of my home..

Postby defaultuser » Sat Jul 07, 2012 12:56 pm

In some ways, its nice to have your X be totally off the deep end because its easier to prove. When you have a vindictive slightly abusive mother who does her best to separate you from your children, they are all to often successful in the long run.
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Re: She filed a TRO and I was just escorted out of my home..

Postby Southern.Putter » Sat Jul 07, 2012 3:04 pm

Thoughts? wrote:Learn the system, use the system, be aggressive how you use the system. Maintain radio silence. Manage your attorney to use your $ effectively. Think big picture / go for the end game.
+1,000 -- Well said! Solid gold post!

To the OP, you should paste this advice by "Thoughts?" into your iPad and put it on your calendar so that it gives you a daily reminder every single morning.
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