Light (money) at the end of the tunnel...

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

Going to court in a few weeks to squeeze money out of STBX (I'm still paying for everything). I can't wait to get to keep some of my money, lol. Even if she gets awarded some amount of temporary spousal support, it'll be at most 40% of what I'm currently shelling out.

Who knows what I'll do with my new found wealth. Coke and ho's, motorcycle, boat, etc.

[finallyhappyhere]

Where in VA are you? I went to JDR court a month or so back...she was asking for CS and SS. She didn't get a thing...I'm still being forced to pay the mortgage since my name is on it (as is hers) but it was a win.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

Where in VA are you? I went to JDR court a month or so back...she was asking for CS and SS. She didn't get a thing...I'm still being forced to pay the mortgage since my name is on it (as is hers) but it was a win.

Spotsylvania County. How long were you married? Mine was 11 months (yeah...lol). She won't get CS (they're her kids from a previous marriage), but there's a chance that she'll get SS...depending on the judge.

The mortgage is only in my name...so she should get the boot from the house after the hearing (hopefully 30 days notice...no more).

All jokes aside...I'm completely tapped out. I've got a $200k+ mortgage, etc. and I'm down to $500 in savings. Regardless of the outcome of court...any judgement will be better than what I'm currently dealing with.

Either she gets the boot from the house and I get a renter in it...or I'm going to have to make the tough decision to pick what bills to pay. I've always had good/excellent credit, so I'm not looking forward to that prospect.

[finallyhappyhere]

Married 17 years. For the first several months I paid everything, plus gave her money. Then I drew the line and stopped paying everything except the mortgage. She refused to pay it or contribute. She filed in JDR and during the last year refused to get a full time job. I hired a vocational expert, had proof she refused to work full time etc.

I'm tapped out myself. Maxed out credit cards for attorney fees, no savings, paying for my mortgage and my rent. This month I can't make the mortgage payment. Since it's in both of our names I'm biting the bullet and not paying. It will ruin her credit as well. I just can't do it any more and she needs to learn her lesson.

I've offered her everything under the sun and she wants more.

Since the very beginning I asked for 50/50 custody and she refused...in court I got it. I'm hoping that maybe she will see the trend that if she fights it she will ultimately lose anyway.

As far as your money goes, hopefully she won't get anything. Have you run guidelines to see what you can expect worse case scenario?

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

Married 17 years. For the first several months I paid everything, plus gave her money. Then I drew the line and stopped paying everything except the mortgage. She refused to pay it or contribute. She filed in JDR and during the last year refused to get a full time job. I hired a vocational expert, had proof she refused to work full time etc.

I'm tapped out myself. Maxed out credit cards for attorney fees, no savings, paying for my mortgage and my rent. This month I can't make the mortgage payment. Since it's in both of our names I'm biting the bullet and not paying. It will ruin her credit as well. I just can't do it any more and she needs to learn her lesson.

I've offered her everything under the sun and she wants more.

Since the very beginning I asked for 50/50 custody and she refused...in court I got it. I'm hoping that maybe she will see the trend that if she fights it she will ultimately lose anyway.

As far as your money goes, hopefully she won't get anything. Have you run guidelines to see what you can expect worse case scenario?

I could at least get by if she would pay for something...anything. These are the bills that only benefit her...$400 employer family health insurance, $200 car, $150 (her auto insurance policy that I already separated). Those three items alone...$750. That's less than a third of what I wind up shelling out each month...for things that I don't even get use of.

I know what you mean. The only reason that I'm even getting by at the moment is that I'm staying with my parents. I couldn't foot 100% of my grocery bill at the moment. I have two credit cards maxed out (I've been leaning on those since I left).

That's my issue with my NJ. She refuses to see reason and she's a schemer. A woman with a shred of decency would have signed a PSA so that we'd only have a six month separation and move on. Instead, I've got to deal with the same legal mess of someone that's been married for a much longer duration.

There's not a big difference in our incomes. The calculators I've run online show that she'll get anywhere from $0 (based on VA) to $186/week (based on MA). We'll see though. Given the short duration of the marriage, the longest period of time that she can expect to get that sum of money is six months (based on internet research...at least).

I'll have to make some cuts in July. Either ordered by the judge (i.e. her take over her car, health insurance, etc.) or myself. I'll be COMPLETELY tapped out by the end of July.

[TJP123]

any success stories of people GETTING SS from their NJ?

in 2010 & 2011 I was earning 6-figures @ my job. my wife wanted to move, which we did and with my new job I'm earning $1,500/mo. My previous job was, and my current one is, a commission job, so after some time and business building, I'm sure things will pick up. But my wife was making $100k at her job we moved here for (then quit 6 weeks later, then I pressured her to go back, then 3 months later she quit again for good). Now she works part-time, but it still making $50k salary.

Meanwhile, I still have to pay 100% of the house we're leasing that she moved out of, I have had to pay for 100% of her and my daughter's health insurance, I just had to re-up her car insurance for another 6 months, she was not paying any daycare expenses. When I say "had to" I don't mean that I voluntarily kept paying...the divorce papers she filed included TRO's preventing me from stopping those payments. Oh, AND she asked for CS + SS during our 12 month divorce waiting period (plus afterwards, I assume)

We're going to ask for reimbursement of my expenses she has not been covering that we think she is 50% responsible for, as well as SS moving forward for a period of time. Or is that something is stacked against the dads from the outset with little/no chance of succeeding?

[Chosen2Dad]

If she gets SS for 11 months, I need to move to VA. i'm in 3.5 years, and the stbx makes more than double me!

Congrats on getting yourself in a financially better spot...moving on up!

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

If she gets SS for 11 months, I need to move to VA. i'm in 3.5 years, and the stbx makes more than double me!

Congrats on getting yourself in a financially better spot...moving on up!

Tell me about it. I'll find something out next week. I'm really hoping that the judge just tells her that she's had three free months and to GTFO of the house. I'm pretty anxious at this point. I just need this phase of my mess to be over with.