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ks5610 wrote:We have no kids. We sat down today and tried to talk civilly and that went no where. She stated that she wanted what was hers and I take what is mine, but then when I told her I bought the living room furniture and TV before we were married with my money she said no I want that.
Basically I would like to walk away with what is mine, but if I had to leave today with nothing, but the shirt on my back but not have to pay her anything else I would be happy. She owes about 12,000 on a vehicle which I have been paying every month. She purchased it before we even knew each other and her mother cosigned the loan for it. She has probably $28,000 in debt for her physicians assistant school, $20,000 prior to marriage $8,000 after I have not signed either.
I basically just want what is mine and don't want this to turn into a mess or be stuck with her debt or owing her alimony payments.
ks5610 wrote:A little update here. I ponied up and spent the money for a consultation with an attorney. According to him I am not on the hook for any of her school loans or vehicle loan which is great. Savings account could go either way, I'm fine with splitting it with her if she'll be agreeable and not turn this into a pain in the a##. He said I could owe her spousal support for 3 months from filing for the divorce (40% of all of my income), I'm going to do what I can to not have her get that. At this point if she doesn't lawyer up I'm not going to either its just not worth the money if she's not going to fight me on everything.
To everyone who said just get my stuff when she's gone. It's crossed my mind, but I love the house I'm in, plus my name is on the lease and I've paid the security deposit. The attorney told me she has every legal right to be there until the divorce is final, but if she wants to fight me she will not get the house in the end. What is the best way for me to civilly encourage her to get the hell out?
ks5610 wrote:I was airborne infantry
ks5610 wrote:Fatheroffour great picture!
To everyone saying to just let her have it and walk away I know exactly what you mean and I know a living room suite and tv is not worth the attorney fees, but to me its just the principle of the thing. I put a ten thousand dollar ring on her finger I have supported her paid off her credit card debt and kept her from racking up major debt in physicians assistant school, by paying some of her tuition and for books and financially supporting her. She was the sweetest woman I have ever met we lived together, it was years of dating and then engagement before we got married it wasn't like I rushed into it. Literally on our honeymoon it was like a switch flipped. I have had to look back at pictures of her in a bikini on our honeymoon to remind myself I married an attractive girl. She eats more than me and of course we're talking high dollar food, I'm 6'3 215 and still go to the gym numerous times a week, she has not been to the gym once since we married she was only 115 when we got married, she just constantly criticizes what I do or complains and just has this entitled attitude that I don't know where it comes from, I honestly did not see a single warning sign to any of this up to the day we got married. She is the one asking for divorce, she handed me her rings when I told her I loved her and made a commitment and would try to work anything out.
The reason I say all of this is why do I have to be the one who suffers and gives up items that I bought with money I earned while living in hell. I was airborne infantry and on a scout team, I went months without a shower, didn't get a wiff of a female or booze in over a year and to top it off got blown the hell up and fought to stay in country and keep fighting with my fellow troops. I volunteered to do what I did and don't feel entitled to anything but there is no d#mn way I feel that she is entitled to any of what I earned. I understand that it would probably be cheaper for me to just give in, but the truth of the matter is I can pay attorney fees, she'd just have to go into more debt to do it. Is this ridiculous to be thinking this way, I know that a lot of times emotions outweigh rational thought, but I just don't get it, this divorce is honestly not my fault she can't expect me to watch her turn into this blood sucking creature and just take it all.
BubbaGumpShrimp wrote:From what I've read here...most guys (myself included) would gladly cough up money, goods, etc. to get rid of their NJ is a more prompt manner.
ks5610 wrote:I hear what you are saying guys and I guess deep down I know it will be a lot quicker and less $$$ to just give in and let her take things I don't think are hers. My only question is you are saying let her walk with everything, after I have tried so hard to make it work and looked her in the eye and said I want to make it work and she handed me her rings. I am not saying its 100% her fault there is two sides to every story, but I know that if we had cameras on us 24/7 and someone saw what went on they would say she takes the brunt of the blame.
Do you not think it is not worth trying to get her to agree to a lawyer-less divorce threatening that I will get a lawyer and then she'll have to pay for her own? Even if she did take the living room furniture and tv that won't equal the cost of a lawyer. She brought our entire bedroom set and most of the appliances/dishes in the kitchen and the dining room table. Is that not collateral for me to fight back with? I understand the thought process of thousands of dollars in attorney fees is not worth the furniture, but is it really worth rolling over and playing dead without putting up somewhat of a fight, or is any sort of a fight just going to end up in attorney fees? I understand what everyone is saying, but I also hate to give everything up when I have tried so hard to save it all.
Fatheroffour wrote:Since you've only been married 6 months and have no kids, fight her all you want and try to make her life as miserable as possible. In fact, if you want the stuff your best bet is to get a truck and take it all when she isn't there and make her fight you for it.
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