Typical NJ bs....

[stretchkr]

She sends me a text out of the blue, demanding to know where her wedding rings are. I hadn't seen them since they were on her finger 4 months ago. I replied that I didn't know, and she sends me a bunch of threats that she is getting a lawyer, and sending me to jail, and going to sick her uncle (scary < edited >) on me.... I politely responded that i would never have touched the rings, that they were meaningful, and that I want to keep all our wedding pics, and things like that together so we can show the kids someday, or even give them to them. She responded only with threats, so I went silent.


The next day I go snooping around the house, and find them in a box, in her top dresser drawer. She either a: found them after and didnt tell me. or b: knew where they were the entire time and just wanted money (she was demanding compensation the entire time).

I don't know if now I should take them so she cant use them against me, or just let it go... They are valuable (paid 7 grand for the engagement, and 1500 for the wedding).

[BartSimpson]

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

[Fatheroffour]

So she lost the rings?

Might want to pocket them for safe keeping and see what happens.

And maintain radio silence.

[splittinginaz]

If you don't take the rings be sure to get some good documentation showing where they are and when.

I would suggest multiple pictures with something showing the date and time in case she "misplaces" them again.

[stretchkr]

I don't know if she lost them for awhile and found them, or if she had them the entire time and was just trying to work me up.... Its less than a month to our hearing, and I'm thinking I will just let it go and keep being mr niceguy. I dont want to do anything to set her off, though it seems like she may be trying to goad me into it. Fortunately she hasnt cared that I have had the kids out of the house immediately after work every day, and pretty much all weekend, for the last three weeks. Keeps the kids and me happy, and them out of her < bull poo poo >.....

I did find the reciepts, ao if she pawns a very expensive marital asset without my permission I'm hoping that may be leverage in the future? Probably only if its before we are actually divorced.

This has become more of a rant than a question, sorry.

[stretchkr]

Good idea, i'll document where they are now just to be safe. Can't hurt.

[BartSimpson]

This is governed by caselaw - you should know who actually owns the rings. Hint: probably not you.

Permission to pawn them? Ha ha.

These symbolic items of your marriage will fall by the wayside. Your kids might look at those wedding pictures once, but the album will not sit next to the family bible as an heirloom. In time, they will become meaningless to you, too.

While Mom's wedding ring might make it into your daughter's jewelry box later in life, it isn't that significant that it be worn daily. If you had a Son, would you want him to use that ring when wedding your daughter-in-law? Bad ju-ju.

Defining these symbolic rings by what you paid is not accurate. Wedding rings derive their value the same way as real estate: location, location, location. It was worth all that when it was symbolic of your wife - she's not your wife anymore. Put aside how much you paid and don't clutter your head trying to monetize a bright shiny object.

Bottom line - hand the rings to her and say "here you go, found them in the drawer."

[stretchkr]

Which is fine Bart, makes total sense, I just don't wan't her using the damn things against me. Filing police reports and bs like that, that I stole them..... I'll just document where they are, and drop the issue. Not going to even mention it to her.

[BartSimpson]

It's a matter of perspective.

Does at least one member of that committee inside your head think her filing a police report that her wedding ring was stolen by you, her husband, living in the same house, is hilarious?

Better make sure everything else in the house is in its place - don't want a felony rap for misplacing the remote control.

[stretchkr]

I suppose so, but the big picture is that i got almost everything I want in the decree, and she signed it without a second look. But a judge hasnt. Until then, eggshells shall be walked on, and I will in no way intentionally provoke her, or get lured into her bs. In other words, something like this I will worry about, and take seriously.