Needing advice - Please help

[Trevor]

I was gonna go with "hand her a book" but then thought better of it.

[Kruss]

Update...

STBX's grandfather passed away yesterday. He was 92.

The funeral is tomorrow. He already everything planned well in advance.

For my kids and me this weekend, this means STBX's brother is coming by to visit.

He's the one I have mentioned before who has been diagnosed as bipolar.

I'm not expecting any confrontations concerning the STBX and myself, but I have concerns considering his past behavior at family gatherings. Long story short he has attempted to kill himself at a family gathering before.

I have the local police department on speed dial if I need it.

I will be at the funeral with my kids supporting them.

[Kruss]

Update...

No confrontations Saturday.

The STBX was gone most of the time. She was at the funeral, but then she ran off with friends afterwards.

Her brother was either with her or out most of the day as well.

The kids and I watched movies and went to the park.

On Sunday evening, the STBX confronts me and lets me know that she has a party that she planned months ago (Premier Jewelry) and forgot about for this coming Wednesday. Then, she tells me that I need to grab the kids on Wednesday and make ourselves scarce. Finally, she tells me that she is going out of town again with friends on Friday and will be gone the whole weekend.

It's no question that she is living off of her friends and somebody else because she has not been making any money, and I have not given her any money.

I'm continuing to document everything with myself and the kids.

I figure I just keep doing what I'm doing.

Is there anything else I should be documenting?

[hoosier_dad]

Sounds very similar to my situation when my ex was in full blown Mr Wonderful affair mode. One thing you should get if at all possible is evidence of these requests for you to care for the children in her absence. If she informed you via a verbal conversation or phone call follow up with an email asking her to confirm the details.

If you end up in court and your ex claims that you are an unfit parent or the children are unsafe with you as my ex did, pulling out emails that show she continually deferred to your parenting effectively shuts down that argument entirely.

[Kruss]

Thanks for the advice.

I'll try to get her to send me an email.

[Chosen2Dad]

If you are a one-party record state..record it.

Email is nice...simple text? "very friendly" text asking how it's going...blah blah blah...

[Kruss]

I got the STBX to send me an email with the times she is leaving.

[Kruss]

Update...

STBX tried to confront me last night after she got frustrated at my son.

STBX was angry because S10 was not listening to her when I arrived home from work; but when I showed up and told S10 to do his chores, he listened and started doing his work.

I swear I thought I saw steam coming from STBX's ears.

As a result, she started yelling at me stating all kinds of nonsense.

I took the advice of the people here on the forum and said nothing. I just took it.

After 15 minutes, she stopped and looked confused.

Then, STBX left the house saying she was going to see her friend.

I said nothing.

Silence is golden. Less is more.

The more time passes. The more I'm starting to see.

[BartSimpson]

Ah . . . Grasshopper, you have snatched the pebble.

[hoosier_dad]

Did you audio record the incident? I had similar incidents and on the surface they appeared to be non-events once they were over, no police called etc. Fast forward a few months and you might very well hear a different version of events in court from your STBX and other witnesses that will describe abuse and how she ran away from home in distress. If you audio recorded the event I would get it ready to enter into evidence in court just in case.