HELP

[desertchill]

I don't know where to begin, so how about the beginning. I recently moved to Arizona from Indiana with my 12 year old son to set up a residence and await my wife and two daughters to arrive in June. Since I arrived my wife has informed me she is not coming and has completely cut me off from our daughters. She has not been involved in our sons life other than a two minute phone conversation once or twice a week. She has also completely cut me off from my daughters to the point that she didn't allow them to call me on fathers day. We are not divorced or even legally separated there is no custody arrangement and she has no grounds for divorce what are my options here I am completely lost and did not see this coming any help on the subject would be incredibly helpful. Thank you

[defaultuser]

Sounds like you are in a complicated situation. If your kids were with you, then you might want to stay. If they were with her, go back.

Is there any way you can just go pick up your daughters and take them to AZ? I believe you would be within your rights as a parent to do that, especially because she agreed to move at one point. Generally taking kids out of state isn't a good idea, but in this situation it may be warranted.

The best thing you can do is go seek the counsel of two or three family law attorneys and come up with a plan. In the mean time, do not speak to your wife.

[Txbizman]

Which state has more favorable divorce laws cause it sounds like that's where u r headed.

If AZ then try to get the girls, turn off her financial faucet and tell her to get her < edited > to AZ like you both agreed. Take charge.

Once she is there, If the marriage is repairable get to work on it. If not, this is a good place for advice.

[lohe]

Other than what the others have said I would also take control of as much finances as you can. Get her name off of stuff that is not hers. You're going to need a good lawyer (or two).

[hoosier_dad]

Your ex appears to be in the driver's seat if she files asking for full custody of your daughters and the return of your son to the marital home. You don't list the ages of your children but they can be a big factor if they are teenagers.

As far as state to state comparisons I ran a quick CS calculation for my situation. I have 3 children as well and live in Indiana. Using an online AZ child support calculator my CS payments would be 42% higher in AZ. Long term alimony in Indiana does not exist, but maintenance can be awarded and is capped at 3 years. Even in my case with a 10yr SAHM I paid maintenance for less than a year. Hopefully someone can post with info on AZ alimony awards.

Indiana custody differs county by county. Some are very progressive with 50/50 awards, while some still like to default Dads to EOW status. Based on the limited info you've posted if I were you I'd start preparing for a quick move back to Indiana. I wouldn't let your wife know ahead of time and would just move back in. Then go from there preparing for a potential divorce.

[coscrewed]

Indiana has some of the most fair divorce and custody laws in the country. Arizona, not so much.

Get back to Indiana to file, if divorce is where it is heading. Keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't try to establish residency in another state while you are not looking. She could take a vacation to Colorado, get a Colorado driver's license and a cell phone here, go back to Indiana, and 90 days later file for divorce in CO courts, and you would be in hell.

[desertchill]

Thank you guys for the responses sorry for the limited info, my son is 12, the girls are 10, & 8, as for the marital home, we were buying on "land contract" so we basically informed the owners we were moving and left, she went to her moms house with my children to await the ok to come, as a side note her step father was found to be sleeping in bed with my son who was 11 at the time in his tighty whiteys and I threatened him he has a restraining order against me here I have an apt. Car and job but there I have none of the above, however at this time I still have had 0 contact with anyone on that side of the Mississippi

[lohe]

How is she getting along, financially?
You might look into sb1127 in Arizona, it mandates equal custody (it goes into effect at the end of 2012 but I'm not sure of the number of the bill).
The problem is, of course, that she has 2 children there and you have one in Arizona.
What does she expect to happen, she's going to keep the girls and you're going to keep the boy?

[desertchill]

She has no job I send or was sending $50-$100 per week to her, she lives in her moms unfinished basement with the girls and as far as I can tell which is only conjecture she expects to keep the two girls while I keep the boy and that be the end of it, I have not been allowed to make any parental decisions regarding the girls and she has made no attempt to be involved in the raising of the boy since we got here 94 days ago.

[defaultuser]

I'd stop sending her any kind of money. You probably need to get a lawyer sooner rather than later.