How long did it REALLY take?

[finallyhappyhere]

So I've seen all of this posts about you guys finally reaching the end, but how long did it take to get that far and why did it take so long?...and for that matter, when did the clock really start ticking for you?

For me, I had to wait the year separation in Va and I'm just a few weeks in after that year... so can I say I have a year in already? My wishful thinking is that I only have a few more months. We are working on a PSA that I hope will be resolved in the next few weeks. I'm praying we don't go to court and that it gets signed and we are on way.

[Fatheroffour]

It took 18 months from separation to trial and a couple of more months to get a signed order from the judge but since there are children involved the phrase "til death do you part" really does have meaning.

[miamorefreckles]

for the divorce it took 28 months... LONG months. Custody is still ongoing. Always will be I think.

[Chosen2Dad]

I'm not done...5 months in..and it's the longest 5 months of my life...

Parenting experts are involved now for the last couple months...so I am hoping their evaluations will be done in about 60 days. So I can say PSA could be as early as 3 more months. But if she doesn't like what the experts have to say, it will be a lot longer.

Custody is our issue of course: I don't give a &^%$ about the money.

Yes, you will always be hooked because of the kids as long as you want to be.

[Tyrell]

16 months from filing to trial, 2 more to get the final signed decree, so 18 months in the courts

But,
She left about 2 years prior to filing and things were bad for 2 years prior to that so

From the first time I thought "this might not be working" until final signed decree was probably 6 years, which in hind sight was about 1/2 our marriage. Hadn't thought about that before.
ooooph!

[defaultuser]

8 months from separation to divorce. But... 5 years later, still in court.

If I would have known then what I know now, I'd have fought for more custody.

[nighthawk]

24 months for the divorce, another 18 months to get custody.

I wasn't goIng to let an NJ abuse my child just to hurt me!

[Bubba Seal]

5 years from start to finish.

[finallyhappyhere]

Jeez.. not what I was hoping to hear LOL...

She filed for temp support 8 months ago and we just had the trial a few weeks ago. I ended up with 50/50, no spousal (she's appealing) and cs, plus back cs (ouch)...I'm fighting that because she was getting money.

I'm hoping to get a PSA in place because really, the retirement and money stuff isn't an issue, except she wants a ton of spousal support for nothing, so I'm fighting that. I'm hoping we can reach an agreement, get the PSA to the judge and have a final decree by the end of July... I'm ready to throw what little money I have at the situation to be done.

If this has to go to court I doubt I'll get a hearing date for at least 6-8 months. Not sure I will survive financially that long.

Sometimes I think it's just better to roll over then fight this and go broke.

[revmeup1]

I am in New Jersey.
From filing to divorce (settlement date) took 7 months.
My ex and I really worked hard to work through as much stuff as possible w/o the lawyers. And only used the lawyers to assist in our disagreements.

I kept reminding her that its in HER best interest to work WITH me to work through as many issues as possible because...
a) she didn't have $ to shell out to a lawyer to fight
b) the lawyers will use every opportunity to find any little excuse to divide and concur.
c) if she chooses to dig in her heals and fight, it doesn't exactly start the post-marriage relationship off on a very good footing (which does impact the children...because the ex can't separate her feelings from reality).

After a few weeks, and getting her first invoice from her attorney (and then firing him and getting another), she came around and agreed that it was in our best interest.
We both agreed that putting alittle extra $ in either of our pockets instead of the lawyers DOES ultimately benefit the kids quality of life.

I am luckier than most I guess...my ex isn't a complete NJ. Just occasionally. And usually, comes around with alittle time. LOL

Don