Here comes the custody trial?

[capslock]

I like the mediator's thinking.

[Chosen2Dad]

If the kids are fine, I don't think it will matter.

Don't talk smack on her. Remind them how good you are. The good news is you got 50/50 out the gate, so the journal/pictures/3rd parties can back you.

95% of cases get settled. But she's probably a wack! So be prepared to go to trial depending on the lawyers.

Any judge should know both parents are to be involved as much as possible. Parenting experts think that way as well.

Don't feel bad, my NJ told the mediator and 1 parenting expert she wants all 7 days. There is another parenting expert as well who has yet to hear this!

Good to hear on the S3...my S2 will probably be that age when this all gets completed on my end.

Good luck...stay strong..easier said that done I'm sure.

[jumbledone]

I took grief and shots from some friends and family when I counter-filed with the same conditions, only reversed, that my NJ filed with.

I thought long and hard on whether I wanted to say 50/50 or not. Ultimately I decided that I wanted a position to move to, so it would not seem like I was stonewalling. So even though I knew 50/50 was best for the kids, I asked for more. Then it provided the space for momentum for both of us to 'move'.

I hate it, but that is the game that is there.

[blcprc]

I have yet to hear from my attorney yet to see what she feels would be my best stand and on how to proceed with my situation. I just feel like I'm running out of time!

It seems like all I hear from the local attorneys around here, in MO, that judges are not fond of 50/50 physical custody. Is that true? If so, then why? If we are both good parents, then why can't the time be shared?

[jumbledone]

I have yet to hear from my attorney yet to see what she feels would be my best stand and on how to proceed with my situation. I just feel like I'm running out of time!

It seems like all I hear from the local attorneys around here, in MO, that judges are not fond of 50/50 physical custody. Is that true? If so, then why? If we are both good parents, then why can't the time be shared?

Because if you both don't agree to the same schedule, it may portend that you both won't work nicely in the future with each other, ie., both will be filing motions left and right taking up the court's time.

The best way to get 50/50 is to work it out with NJ. Otherwise it will be expensive and drawn-out.

[Bubba Seal]

In TN you have to go thru mediation first.

Have you been thru mediation? Is that an option?

I think the fact that you guys have had 50/50 and its working play into your favor, but you have to be able to prove why its important for you to maintain your time with your kids, I dont think mudslinging makes any difference, in mediation I tryed that and the mediator just told me to shut the fugh up. So I just sat there and told them what I did with the kids, any hard evidence, in my case my ex was kinda absent at times, and i had taken my daughter to get a Christmas dress, I had a picture of her in it. They asked the stbx if I had gone shopping with my daughter to get the dress, she said yes, cause that was the truth, they asked where were you, she didnt have a good answer. The mediator was a female and said to my ex, look your husband is taking care of the kids, even shopping with your daughter, theres no way a judge would cut him to 20% time, so we went from there.

If you want to sling mud, you have to do it without slinging mud, bring up examples of what you have done, and when the kids were with her, things that didnt get done, and then let someone ask her why.

My point is you just have to prove why you are important to the kids lives, the cheating and all of your emotional baggage toward her dont mean anything, they will brush right over that, so set your goal for your time and prove why you should have it.

At this point your deal is just business, dont forget that, let her go all crazy, but dont you do that, stay calm, in control of your emotions and answer as many things yes or no, and dont go into big explanations. When I was asked why I did the stuff I did, I just said well I thought that was what a father was supposed to do.

Good Luck

[massdaddio]

Ask for 70/30 in your favor stating you are willing to facilitate a relationship with the other parent. Your ex is asking for 90/10 and slinging mud. You should look like the reasonable one....

[aero_8]

Agreed with the mediator. Start by asking for more than you are willing to settle for. If you start by asking for 50/50, you will either be forced to hold that position, looking unreasonable, or settle for significantly less.

[Chosen2Dad]

If you ask for 50/50..it shows you're reasonable from the get go. You could bend a day and go 6 vs. 8...but ultimately it's what's best for the kid. If anything, going 90/10 on no basis, is unreasonable.