The Good Ex

Advice on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation advice for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: The Good Ex

Postby grgr » Mon Jun 18, 2012 7:39 pm

stb_divorced wrote: says she wants the kids to have a good relationship with me... that i can see them whenever i want... etc. i spend a lot of time at the house with the kids - probably more than before the divorce, lol. just seems strange. i guess i'm pretty lucky.


So does this mean your stbx agrees that the custody order will be 50/50 physical and legal?

Maybe I'm just not interpreting this the way it was meant but it sounds to me like both you and your stbx see her role as the gatekeeper what with her telling you that you can see the kids whenever you want. You "go" to the house to spend time with the kids? Why aren't you living there with your kids everyday until the divorce is final being that you two are getting along so well?
The person who cares the least controls the relationship.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby SmokinMeanRibz » Tue Jun 19, 2012 1:20 pm

I have learned - the hard way I might add - that NJs are unpredictable. Just recently, NJ and I had a phone conversation. It was very pleasant. We agreed on many things. We both affirmed our commitment to our daughter and we both agreed that the best thing for her is to work together.

After discussing what we needed to discuss, we said have a good night and we got off the phone. I looked at my phone and we had talked for 20 minutes!

That was about 2 weeks ago. Just a few days ago she said that she would pay a million dollars to see to it that I never have any more time with D3.


Moral of the story... NJs is crazy. Assume every time you interact with them that they are a timebomb ready to go off. Keep communication to a minimum - NEVER try to rationalize.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby thecaptain24 » Tue Jun 19, 2012 5:05 pm

defaultuser wrote:I have a great relationship with the X as long as I do whatever she wants, give her large portions of my pay, and never expect her to be a decent parent.

Otherwise, she's a terror.


Ditto. Every word of this holds true.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby jerico08 » Tue Jun 19, 2012 8:29 pm

I remind myself of the phrase Kyle Reese gave to Sarah Connor about the Terminator when it comes to dealing with my NJ:

"It can't be reasoned with, can't be bargained with.........."
"There is a difference between a wedding and a marriage".
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby mbxdad » Wed Jun 20, 2012 8:35 am

defaultuser wrote:I have a great relationship with the X as long as I do whatever she wants, give her large portions of my pay, and never expect her to be a decent parent.

Otherwise, she's a terror.


Too true. But "do whatever she wants" is a bridge too far. Just can't go along with amazingly moronic decisions that would hurt my kid. Thank God for 50/50 decision making, which so far has let me put the kibosh on much of her brazenly stupid attempts at decision-making.

The other two, no problem.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby Bubba Seal » Wed Jun 20, 2012 8:40 am

To the OP, you dont mention what you have agreed too, if you are getting in writting everything that you want particularly time with your kids, then you are doing great, if you are just going by what she is saying without it in writting then you may be setting yourself up.

Make sure whatever it is you want is in writen in the final decree.

Good Luck
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby hanzblinx » Wed Jun 20, 2012 9:58 am

I have an aunt who divorced my uncle twice. She has now told him directly and through relatives that she would like to marry him again. :shock: :shock: :shock:

I think she is SOL this time. He already married someone 19 years younger (and 10x hotter) than her.

Anyway, I assume she must be somewhat nice to him if she's trying to snag him a 3rd time.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby jamessick » Wed Jun 20, 2012 3:34 pm

atoice wrote:Glad it's working so far. Wait til after, and don't be optimistic.

I actually hope mine NJ gets better after. It can't be any worse. That's for sure.


I would think Spencerian would politely disagree with you.
I am a dad. It is not a simple title, nor a professional position. It is a aggressively defended FACT!
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby Jaxle67 » Wed Jun 20, 2012 6:51 pm

I have a great relationship with the X as long as I do whatever she wants, give her large portions of my pay, and never expect her to be a decent parent.

Otherwise, she's a terror.


Absolutely thats me and my ex . But id like to add that she runs me in the ground to everyone that we both know. But they know whom the real trash is. Shes the only one that cant see it.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby MrCoolDC » Thu Jun 21, 2012 2:54 pm

Crazy women never get less crazy when the man is out of their lives.
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