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stb_divorced wrote: says she wants the kids to have a good relationship with me... that i can see them whenever i want... etc. i spend a lot of time at the house with the kids - probably more than before the divorce, lol. just seems strange. i guess i'm pretty lucky.
So does this mean your stbx agrees that the custody order will be 50/50 physical and legal?
Maybe I'm just not interpreting this the way it was meant but it sounds to me like both you and your stbx see her role as the gatekeeper what with her telling you that you can see the kids whenever you want. You "go" to the house to spend time with the kids? Why aren't you living there with your kids everyday until the divorce is final being that you two are getting along so well?
The person who cares the least controls the relationship.
I have learned - the hard way I might add - that NJs are unpredictable. Just recently, NJ and I had a phone conversation. It was very pleasant. We agreed on many things. We both affirmed our commitment to our daughter and we both agreed that the best thing for her is to work together.
After discussing what we needed to discuss, we said have a good night and we got off the phone. I looked at my phone and we had talked for 20 minutes!
That was about 2 weeks ago. Just a few days ago she said that she would pay a million dollars to see to it that I never have any more time with D3.
Moral of the story... NJs is crazy. Assume every time you interact with them that they are a timebomb ready to go off. Keep communication to a minimum - NEVER try to rationalize.
defaultuser wrote:I have a great relationship with the X as long as I do whatever she wants, give her large portions of my pay, and never expect her to be a decent parent.
Otherwise, she's a terror.
Too true. But "do whatever she wants" is a bridge too far. Just can't go along with amazingly moronic decisions that would hurt my kid. Thank God for 50/50 decision making, which so far has let me put the kibosh on much of her brazenly stupid attempts at decision-making.
To the OP, you dont mention what you have agreed too, if you are getting in writting everything that you want particularly time with your kids, then you are doing great, if you are just going by what she is saying without it in writting then you may be setting yourself up.
Make sure whatever it is you want is in writen in the final decree.