Jump through hoops to see kids or....?

[nevermorenevermore]

situation recap:

-our temp orders aren't for 45 days...
-she moved out + took kids 200 miles away
-judge declined my motion for hearing for parenting time

stbx is demanding
-supervised < parenting time > at safe house at my expense
-wants all the info on the tenant that moved into house to help cover expenses (all emails, lease, background check i ran, etc). i don't mind doing that, but it seems like that is protected information.
-all my mental health records. (ironic, i was treated for depression years ago and doing fine, she attempted suicide 4 months ago)

do i
-give it to her and hope it will get me time with kids?
-don't do anything until lawyer looks at it with me
-go get my kids and risk a big confrontation with her/parents/trauma for kids

[RC211V]

Kinda tough... you are in a tough situation. In the beginning my ex took the kids to a friend's place who threatened to call the cops if I came to her house. She is an idiot and I wasn't too worried about that threat, but she is even more dramatic than ex, so I didn't mess with it. A few things have happened since then with that same friend having the kids and she threatened stuff, but I was more prepared and have learned some things, so I got the kids and she lost her attempt at bullying me. She doesn't try anymore.

Only you can know if there is a way for you to get to see your kids without causeing problems. Is there a reasonable person there who you can communicate with? If you show up and don't let them push you around, will you be able to pick up or see the kids without drama?

I don't know for sure about the legalities of any renter's info if she owns the house with you... seems like you wouldn't need to give her that info, but I don't know. For sure I wouldn't give her the other documents, don't explain why, just don't give them to her. If she asks and tries to demand, at most say 'no'. She has no reason to see any medical records for you whatsoever.

[FORmyBOY]

Assuming there are no orders, and not knowing full background (like why she is claiming supervised, why judge denied you, etc)....
- don't give her anything, or discuss, or admit, or respond.
-make very clear request to have kids returned to their home, and to see them at least.
-file for emergency order giving you custody based on her instability and suicide
- go get your kids

This is devoid of any back story, so take it with that in mind.
How did she take your kids? How/why did you let her?
Where is she, who staying with?

You could gontonthat jurisdiction and try to file for ex parte based on her being suicidal and fleeing with kids. Big, big risk there, need to weigh with situation.

[nevermorenevermore]

gonna answer my own q...

attorney i interviewed today said f-that to the supervised < parenting time >. she said DON'T set it up or follow it, will look like you are admitting guilt (to whatever crap it is).

so im just faxing NJ's attorney every day, asking for my time with kids.

[defaultuser]

I would play nice and do whatever it takes for you to get some time with your kids. Once you get that time, take them home and keep them.

Then tell her you want supervised < parenting time > for her....

[Fatheroffour]

The longer you sit back and fax request the longer she maintains status quo. Yes, its not fair but the courts are not interested in fair.

[nevermorenevermore]

The longer you sit back and fax request the longer she maintains status quo. Yes, its not fair but the courts are not interested in fair.

she has the kids an hour away during the week, and 200 miles away during the weekends. i drove two hours last night just to wish my son happy birthday, but she wouldn't let me see him/them. do i just pick them up off the street if i can? with the gaggle of kids i have, hard to get all of them in one place....

i have no problem doing that, just that one lawyer i talked to said don't do it. "pouring gasoline on the fire".

also, there is this thing called a job i have to go to.... i am open to suggestions! so, is the consensus "possession is 9/10 of the law"?

[defaultuser]

If you are ok with the way things are, do nothing. Otherwise pour gasoline on the fire.

Take vacation if you have to, work from home, get a babysitter, or put them in a summer camp.

If you go into temporary hearing with this situation the judge will wag his finger at your wife and give her the kids. You'll also get to see them sometimes. When you pick up the kids, you do need to let your wife know where they are.

[Max]

Possible I missed a piece here but if there's no order... Then why aren't they home with you? Go pick them up and take them home.

Or am I missing something key here?

[nevermorenevermore]

5 kids. mom has minivan. mom and kids at gma's house 50 miles away. gparents and mom are "watching out" for me, and I am sure the kids have been told daddy will go to jail if they are near me.

i can borrow a vehicle NP. i feel like i need help to "grab" them. and what is to stop her from "grabbing" them back when i am at work? can't expect the nanny to deal with the NJ.