Stay-at-home dad with 2 girls and no money

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Stay-at-home dad with 2 girls and no money

Postby Sonny » Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:24 am

A few weeks ago my wife left me and took my 2 girls, 7 and 11. At first it was just "I need to get away for the weekend" which turned into I'm leaving you. Which quickly became I'm divorcing you. It was very unexpected for me any everyone else I know. We had a "great marriage".

I've been a stay-at-home dad their entire lives doing virtually everything and my wife had a good job that she loved. I have no money or car now and am trying not to go completely insane and be calm for my girls. I do not have a lawyer and cannot afford one. We met last week with her lawyer for a provisional hearing and right now I'm looking at paperwork they want me to sign. She wants full physical and legal custody. I am living in the house and so she wants me to pay for all utilities, the entire mortgage, and all expenses needed to fix the house to sell which I have to do within 3 weeks or I must leave the house. I make a few hundred bucks a month freelance writing (in between breakfast/school taxi - clean/cooking - bath/bedtime).

What in the world can I do? Yes I've read through The List. I just want to do whatever is best for my girls. Do I revise this document they sent me and send it back saying this is what I'll agree to or???

Really appreciate any help...
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Re: Stay-at-home dad with 2 girls and no money

Postby BartSimpson » Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:29 am

NO! You are getting railroaded.

It's crappola. You cannot move forward without a lawyer, if you have no income then your wifey may have to pay for your attorney.

You should not even consider anything less than 50/50 custody.

So, who did your wifey meet on Facebook?
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Re: Stay-at-home dad with 2 girls and no money

Postby Fatheroffour » Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:43 am

You are definately on a course to get screwed. Big time.

You need to sell your wedding ring and whetever other possessions you have to come up with enough money for your initial representation. That should include imediately filing for the return of the children and exclusive use of the home.

With both your children in school, you also need to find employment. The stay at home days are over.
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Re: Stay-at-home dad with 2 girls and no money

Postby Anything4Her » Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:47 am

1. You need a lawyer. You cannot afford to be without one. You will get screwed big time.
2. File an emergency motion to have the children returned to the marital home and for sole use and possession of the marital home.
3. File a motion to have her pay your attorney's fees.
5 ***SLOW DOWN*** Your soon to be ex is trying to rush you into an agreement totally against your interests. Don't take legal advice from your opponent. You should be able to get temporary spousal support in addition to child support. You DON'T have to move out of the house in 3 weeks. That is total BS, ignore it.
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Re: Stay-at-home dad with 2 girls and no money

Postby atoice » Fri Jun 08, 2012 6:18 pm

Get a lawyer...try to scrounge up some money. With you not working, the stbx could pay for your fees...but yeah, no more time for no work. It's not the 70's-90's anymore. They will expect you to work and get 50/50 on the kids...
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Re: Stay-at-home dad with 2 girls and no money

Postby CCR » Fri Jun 08, 2012 9:00 pm

Can the OP really be for real? They've got the ability to do just fine financially and be a full time parent, but they are giving it away and the window to reclaim what they had is quickly fading.

A sense of urgency is required and if this guy is for real, he's about to put in the toaster.
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Re: Stay-at-home dad with 2 girls and no money

Postby defaultuser » Fri Jun 08, 2012 9:38 pm

Meet with a lawyer. If she has already filed for divorce, you need to answer, and you'll need an attorney for that.

Answering the petition for divorce and a motion for attorney fees won't cost you all that much and you should be able to pull some money together for that.

In the mean time, start documenting everything, maximize the amount of time you spend with your kids, and don't sign anything.
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Re: Stay-at-home dad with 2 girls and no money

Postby Sonny » Fri Jun 08, 2012 10:52 pm

I guess I just keep thinking this can't really be happening and she would come to her senses any time now. I've been coming to my senses though. Spent all day researching... My next course of action seems unanimous here. What a waste.
Last edited by Sonny on Fri Jun 08, 2012 11:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Stay-at-home dad with 2 girls and no money

Postby defaultuser » Fri Jun 08, 2012 10:58 pm

Yup it sucks. Now you have a choice to either fight for your kids or to give up. I hope for your kids sake that you fight. The person who was primarily responsible for the children's care during the marriage is typically the person who gets primary custody - if you can prove it.
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Re: Stay-at-home dad with 2 girls and no money

Postby Fatheroffour » Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:49 am

If dad were the breadwinner and came home one day and snatched the kids and left SAHM behind, the results would be predictable.

You should settle for nothing less but every day that goes by due to your inaction weakens your case and gives an already bias judge a rationalization for ruling against you. You need to beg, borrow,sell or steal everything you can this weekend and have an attorney filing motions for you first of the week.
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