OMG i was awarded sole custody

[Thoughts?]

Good job! Now, once the dust has settled, if you manage to have a little down time, when not being super dad, come back & offer a bit of help to others. Pay it forward.

But again, this is great news.

[capslock]

Virtual handshake and pat on the back to you sir. Please do advise us going forward. Which county.?

[kidsdadtexas]

Thank you everyone on this forum for the support and guidance. I'm still in shock about the decision.

I received the judges ruling this morning June 7th which is the exact date 1 year ago that I was released from jail on a false DV charge. This day last year was so bitter and now being reunited with my daughter makes this day so special. A good friend of mine pointed this out earlier today and they have been a big help this last year.

This past year was a very difficult time. I was charge with 2 false accusations of DV. I was given supervised parenting time with my d6 which did not even begin for 4 months after orders issued.

The facility could not provide the 3 days per week as allowed in the orders. They treated me like a criminal and the place was very dirty. Not to mention it was very expensive. I actually received 24% of the time awarded last year and less than 50% year to date. stbx constantly denied my written request for a 3rd weekly visit which was documented by the center on their forms.

I was taking off work an hour early every day to arrive on time for parenting time. Having supervised visits was very restrictive however it proved to be very beneficial to my case to have detailed documentation from a neutral supervisor on my parenting skills.

I never missed not even one day that was given to me. I had 2 cancelled for failing on the 7 day prep policy but quickly cleaned this up.

I kept a routine for the 2 hours and had to arrive 30 minutes early (this gave me plenty of time to clean our table and warm up our dinner. I always brought a home-cooked meal, I always brought snacks and of course her favorite canned peaches for desert. I would always wait in the hall watching the door where d6 would arrive and as soon as she seen me she would run to me and jump in my arms. I would give her a kiss on the forehead and we would walk to our room talking about how her day went.

First thing every time after a short greeting -- get ready for dinner by going to wash our hands.
I would position my d6 chair at the table so that her back was to the supervisor and she wouldn't have to be distracted by them watching her eat dinner.
We would take turns saying the prayer one day she would say it and the next I would say it.
We would eat dinner together talking about school, her dog, and keep the focus on my daughter.
After dinner if nj allowed her to bring homework the two of us would work on her assignments or read a book together.
After homework we would decide what to play; vollyball, air hockey; bake a plastic cake; watch a movie ect..
I made special effort to stop 5-10 minutes before the end of my parenting time so that we could clean up our area, put shoes on, gather her belongings ect and make sure that we were on-time returning to mom. (I was never late like other parents that would try to stretch another 5-10 min after parenting time ended)
I would walk her to the door say good bye, tell her I love her and be a good girl, get a green day at school give her a big hug and watch her walk out that door at the center once again.

There were several times that my d6 would make comments that the supervisor would document. ie.. once she had a bruise on her ear and neck, I asked what happened are you ok and d6 said "mommy was whooping me and I hit my head" The supervisor called CPS and filed a child abuse complaint. I followed up with a complaint of my own and of course 4 months later it was ruled out.

Another incident documented was when nj scratched my name of homework and put hers on the parent signature line. d6 and i did the homework together and i just signed off. My daughter arrived for parenting time and said "daddy I got something to tell you thats going to break your heart. Mommy scratched your name of my homework and put hers" I said "that's ok honey how was your day at school today" -- this was quoted word for word in the supervisors notes.

Weeks later another incident occurred when I asked if d6 had homework and she told me that "mommy said i would get in trouble at school if you did my homework with me"
and this was documented word for word by the supervisor.

Along with 10 forms with nj signature denying my 3rd visit. It was made clear to both nj and I that the center would only schedule 2 times per week and either of us could submit a request form for a 3rd and if space was available they would schedule it. Not once did she ever approve my request. When she requested a change in schedule I approved every time. I can say and the records reflect that I never denied her request but she never approved mine.

It's finally over and now I have primary the NJ gets supervised visits and it could be at this same place that I was forced into last year.

[kidsdadtexas]

question

The modified orders give nj supervised visit Saturday 9am to Sunday 5pm. 1st 3rd and 5th. The visits are to supervised by a mutually agreed to competent or (same center that I was going)

Orders also state that father may request a drug test of proposed supervisor at his expense.

I'm expecting the she will propose stbx mil and if she does I will request a drug test. I know for a fact that stbx mil smokes mary j and takes pain meds, pills ect.. This could be give me an even bigger advantage at trial when she fails the test.

stbx and mil have lived together with my d6 for the past year and d6 was always left with grandma when nj was out, working ect..

I'm concerned that if she doesn't offer grandma as a supervisor that we can't get the drug test on her. I testified at the last hearing that prior to the separation I picked up d6 from grandmas house and smelled mary j.

If nj doesn't offer I can't suggest her as a supervisor.

Could we ask if grandma is using too and of course the reply will be a no. Then should i suggest grandma to supervise?

[Rod27]

Awesome story and outcome!!!!!

[Fatheroffour]

Since the supervisor must be mutually agreed upon, just keep not agreeing to her choices until grannysatans name comes up and then agree.

Knowing the consequences and that granny will have to take a test, she'll most likely balk. They may even just forgo < parenting time > for a while until granny cleans her system out, if she even cares enough to do so.

Play your cards close to the chest and once she proposes granny and you accept and they don't have the test taken in a timely manner its as good as an admission of guilt. Well, almost.

[kidsdadtexas]

Any newbies should go back and read OP's first post from Sept 2011.

Dads, don't EVER give up fighting to be in your children's lives. If this guy can fight back from an absolutely horrible position - SO CAN YOU.

June 7th I received the modified orders giving me primary custody of d6 which is the exact day 1 year ago that I was released from jail on a false dv charge with a PO and kicked out of the house.

I did not do this alone, many on this forum helped out with your experience.

[Treading Water]

Why not just use the same center? Your daughter is used to it and you are familiar with the rules and regs of the center. You also know that they are a bunch of SOBs that are absolute sticklers. It was 'good enough' for you, so it should be good enough for her.

TW

[Chosen2Dad]

OP: That is freakin' sweet!! I got goosebumps from reading.

So happy for you and your persistence! Enjoy life again!

[Txbizman]

Great story VERY HAPPY for you two!