enraged! ugh. NJ pulled kid from daycare, changed agreement

[oklahomaDAD]

so things lately have been quiet and as of last week, i thought we were going to jump to the final decree this month. All i had to do was absorb her 9K atty fee and the everyday favor(can you air up my tires, can you help me buy wiper blades, and you look at this apartment with me, can you get some clothes and cups for D). I was resistant at first, but after talking to you guys i was going to absorb it. The favors i just put up with to keep her in a good mood till this divorce is final, then im pulling the coattails from underneath her.

well it all went to sh*t last night over i havent a clue. Maybe it was coming...when we talked on the phone about the final decree, she said she wanted gas money and an apt alarm added to the monthly support. What a parasite. re-reading the text, its like every thing that she said had motive. the NJ just decided she didnt like our current TO agreement. She instructed me my D will be attending a new daycare in the next city adjacent on her days and i will have to come up with something on my days. And she changed the date of the pickup for our 50/50. The TO is kinda vague because we were getting along at the last hearing and via oral communication infront of the judge said we would continue with such and such. The TO just says, "< parenting time > agreed by parties, property division agreed by parties"...no one wrote down the specifics.

my atty is mad as hell as well and calling her atty.....but looks like I may be SOL since the TO is vague. im getting very impatient waiting to hear back. not to mention how angry i am right now.

how do you explain to some dumb NJ that she should rather have me as a friend that will help support/be there for her for the rest of her pathetic life than turn me into her worst enemy?

[stretchkr]

Don't say this.... I'm doing the same thing, and the decree is a few days away from being ready....

[oklahomaDAD]

i should add that we have been comfortable in our daycare and custody split situation for 3 solid months without issue. Before that 2 solid weeks at a home daycare before she wanted the D put in a church daycare but we were on the same schedule.

so really 4 weeks have gone by agreed on, and all of a sudden now when im supposed to get my D tomorrow, she decides she wants to change daycare/pickup date.

[RC211V]

Hm... who the eff knows, she needs to get laid, she got dumped by a guy or her f-buddy interest didn't call her back, anything could put her in a mood. 3 months isn't that long to be having things go smooth IMO, and maybe this is another reason why being nice isn't usually a good idea; it just doesn't work out.

If you don't actually have any orders besides a verbal agreement, I don't know what you can do except rely on your documentation for the status quo, but again, 3 months isn't all that long...

[Thermite]

The favors i just put up with to keep her in a good mood till this divorce is final, then im pulling the coattails from underneath her.

I can empathize a bit here. I spent a long time walking on egg shells and second guessing my every move, wondering how it would look in court once we had our final hearing. But looking back, now that I have my final decree, I can't believe what I put up with.

she said she wanted gas money and an apt alarm added to the monthly support. What a parasite.

Are you talking about the "temporary" alimony you agreed to pay her last year in April? Now she wants it raised? Dude, you were married less than a year, and now have been paying her alimony for over a year. She's already had way more than enough. No. No < edited > way.

the NJ just decided she didnt like our current TO agreement. She instructed me my D will be attending a new daycare in the next city adjacent on her days and i will have to come up with something on my days. And she changed the date of the pickup for our 50/50. ...The TO just says, "< parenting time > agreed by parties"

Firstly, I see no problem with arranging child care on your days. You can't trust this woman for anything. Be a Dad, and get business taken care of.

Next, the TO says "< parenting time > agreed by parties". Is NJ's new proposal what you both agreed to when that was written? Do you agree with what she wants now? No? Then don't agree. At some point you're going to just have to take a stand and do what you think is best for your daughter, and be prepared to defend your actions in court, rather than second guessing yourself on every move.

how do you explain to some dumb NJ that she should rather have me as a friend that will help support/be there for her for the rest of her pathetic life than turn me into her worst enemy?

Maybe you should just tell her, and mean it.

[Chosen2Dad]

Thermite...funny you say that about the eggshells and what I put up with now...

OkDad...do what you want on your own time. IF that is your responsibility, who cares. As for the < parenting time > agrees deal...there has to be some clarity, can it really be that gray?

[oklahomaDAD]

i dont know if i follow your response.

im on round 2 of the divorce...we made up and tried to work things out last year. worked for a 6 months then she filed again at end of last year.

no alimony this time around(that was a tactic by my last lawyer).

keep in mind she moved out of the city to an adjacent city. She wants the D there. I want the D back in my city. the TO hearing was vague and it was pending on me finding a private daycare in my city. we came up with nothing because either A it was WAY out of my pricerange for still having to pay for an atty (15k a year for daycare of a 2 year old) or they were booked up till 2014. we agreed to find a place near both of us and thats all the TO says. We then found a nice place by our work and have been doing that for 3 weeks.

for daycare, i havent found ANYTHING that i can just do every other week. They will charge me the full month to hold her slot and if she misses more than 3 days a month, she will be dropped . the NJ is getting subsidy so she doesnt care. As far as the date of exchange we agreed on but didnt write on teh TO...it was considered STATUS QUO.

her all of a sudden change now gives her my D for an extra half a week till sunday comes around